I love Halloween. It is perhaps the most empowering holiday of the year. For fun, think of the person you admired most when you were a child. It could be Spiderman (or any other movie character - animated or not). It could be a favorite character in a book, a celebrity, a favorite Aunt or Teacher. Think back to when you were able to complete this sentence: "When I grow up I want to be _______."
Create a costume for whatever answer popped into your mind. Wear the costume on Halloween and really get into the part. Act as if you were that person. Have fun in that role.
"The thing about performance, even if it's only an illusion, is that it is a celebration of the fact that we do contain within ourselves infinite possibilities." - Daniel Day Lewis
When the evening comes to an end take off the costume. As you put the costume away think of the attributes of the person you embodied over the course of the evening. For example, if Madonna rocked your world when you were little, consider the attributes of confident, authentic, self-assured, talented, adored by many, unique, strong, comfortable in her own skin, controversial - or whatever it was about her that impressed you as a child. Whatever attributes you identify as meaningful, hold onto them as you show up expressing those attributes the next day and every day after that.
The truth is, whomever you aspired to be when you were little is a reflection of who you are. You love a reflection of you! If there are parts of you that you do not like know this is your conditioned self, your nurture not your nature. This is the egoic coping mechanism and what I playfully call the Inner Critic, that you invented to stay safe and loved in your formative years.
"People often become actresses because of something they dislike about themselves: They pretend they are someone else." - Bette Davis
Acknowledge, embrace and honor the attributes that make your heart sing and are your birthright. Show up in your life as the person you aspired to be. Soon the role won't feel like a costume as you become comfortable in your own skin!
I'd love to know who you wanted to be when you grew up! Use the comment box to tell me how you are showing up in your life today as the person you dreamed of becoming.
"Therapy? I don't need that. The roles that I choose are my therapy." - Angelina Jolie
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Showing posts with label self-awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-awareness. Show all posts
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
2 Ways to Discover Your Raison D'Etre - Reason For Being
Raison D'Etre is French for reason, or purpose, for the existence of someone or something. Each and every person comes into this world with a purpose, unique talents to achieve that purpose and the inner wisdom to guide them along the way. This is a birthright. Without exception. Since everyone walking this Earth exists, you would think that everyone knew his or her purpose in life. Unfortunately many people are disconnected with their Raison d'etre and are plodding along, successfully or not, spending their life energy and time doing something that may feed themselves and their family yet starves their soul.
We do not live in an either/or world. We live in an "and" world. You can do both. Simply put, the reason you are here is to express your full potential using your unique qifts. You are here to tap into the intuitive driven passion that achieves the purpose of bringing forth your unique gifts out into this world - expansively. For those that feed their soul, do what makes their heart sing, work is play and each day is an opportunity to express to the world who they are, what they are here to do. Life flows seemingly effortlessly. Even with the ups and downs, twists and turns, life is fulfilling and worth the ride!
For those who live off-purpose, doing what they think they 'should' be doing, live can be exhausting and unfulfilling even if successful. Those who have turned their back on their raison d'etre feel like something is missing and will sometimes joke that they "still don't know what they want to be when they grow up" well into adulthood. If you struggle to find joy, energy and satisfaction in your work and in your life you are living off purpose. You are not living a life in alignment with who you are at your deepest core. Chances are you don't even know what your unique talents are let alone use them. The funny thing is, many people don't see what their special gift is because it comes so easily for them. They find it so easy and effortless to do what they excel at naturally that they think everyone can do it. It doesn't occur to them that this unique talent is theirs as a birthright with which to express themselves and build their life around.
"Seek the wisdom that will untie your knot, seek the path that demands your whole being." ~Rumi
There are two simple ways to get a glimpse at who you really are and what your unique gift is to share with the world:
1. Think back to when you were a child. Who did you admire or aspire to be? Was it a famous person, a character in a book or movie, a relative or teacher? Who awed you, made you stop and pay attention? Once you have identified this person, what attributes of this person impressed you? Were they brave, funny, larger than life, strong, loving, free, giving, smart? What was it about what this person or fictional character did that called out to you? List as many attributes and actions as you can.
For example, as a child I was awed by a character I saw in a movie on TV, "Auntie Mame". Auntie Mame was a woman who was eclectic, fun, fashionable, surrounded herself with wonderfully odd creative and talented people, traveled around the world and experienced fun and fascinating events in her life. She lived this rich in experience life and mentored others to do the same. Oh, how I wanted to be Auntie Mame! However, I didn't see myself then as being extroverted enough to put myself 'out there' as she did, take risks and stand up for who she is and what she believed in. As an adult, I reconnected with my truth and now live a life centered in the truth of who I am, enjoy rich delicious experiences, am surrounded by a wonderfully eclectic group of talented people and mentor others to live their lives as richly whatever that means to them.
Who you aspire to be, what speaks to your soul as a child, is a mirror of who you are. You love what you see in that person or character because it is a reflection of you! Show up in your life expressing your Inner Auntie Mame, Ninja Warrior, your hero.
2. What energizes you? Think back to a time when you were 'in the zone'. You were totally present, in the moment, doing whatever it was that you were doing, enjoying it fully without any sense of time and space. You were totally focused and bursting with creativity. These 'in the zone' experiences are windows to see your special gifts, your unique talents. You are energized, firing on all cylinders. These are the moments that you are expressing YOU fully.
"The best thing you can do is get good at being you!" - Denis the Menace
As an example, here is an anecdote about Krista Vernoff, Head Writer and Emmy Award nominee for the television show, "Grey's Anatomy". Even though she loved to write, Krista thought she was supposed to be an actress. She held a belief that one had a better shot at making a living as an actress than as a writer. Bar-tending was suggested to her by many well meaning relatives worried about her career choice. She got quite good as an actress and was making a living at that craft. Still, she couldn't tear herself away from writing. Writing came so easy for her that she didn't give herself much credit as a writer. "You have to work hard for a living" and she was definitely working hard to be a working actress. For Krista, being an actress was exhausting! Writing was playful, what she did for fun, what she did to feed her soul. Success as a writer was always a certainty.
One day a fellow actor in a play noticed that Krista would run to her dressing room to write whenever she wasn't needed on stage. Most actors lived to be on stage where Krista lived to be offstage where she could write. Once this fellow actor commented on this upside-down state of affairs, Krista realized that if she was going to live a fulfilled live she must acknowledge and honor who she is - a writer. At the end of the play's run, Krista devoted her life to expanding and express her raison d'etre - to write!
When you commit, give your full attention and energy to standing firmly centered in the truth of who you are, life is magical. You have fed your soul, you are whole. As a complete person, you have the inner resources to give to others whether that be through your craft or through your presence in their lives. You have the energy and desire to share you with the rest of the world. You live life on purpose, in the zone, and tapped into the passion and wisdom that is yours and yours alone. This is what you are here to do. Find a way to spend more time doing what gets you ‘in the zone’.
If you are not satisfied or fully engaged in your life you have a choice. Will you remain committed to this unfulfilling life or will you discover and commit to your raison d'etre. A fulfilled life begins when you go beyond the outer threshold of your comfort zone. The choice is yours.
"Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom & get out of their own Inner Critic way; stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within, inspire the Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
We do not live in an either/or world. We live in an "and" world. You can do both. Simply put, the reason you are here is to express your full potential using your unique qifts. You are here to tap into the intuitive driven passion that achieves the purpose of bringing forth your unique gifts out into this world - expansively. For those that feed their soul, do what makes their heart sing, work is play and each day is an opportunity to express to the world who they are, what they are here to do. Life flows seemingly effortlessly. Even with the ups and downs, twists and turns, life is fulfilling and worth the ride!
For those who live off-purpose, doing what they think they 'should' be doing, live can be exhausting and unfulfilling even if successful. Those who have turned their back on their raison d'etre feel like something is missing and will sometimes joke that they "still don't know what they want to be when they grow up" well into adulthood. If you struggle to find joy, energy and satisfaction in your work and in your life you are living off purpose. You are not living a life in alignment with who you are at your deepest core. Chances are you don't even know what your unique talents are let alone use them. The funny thing is, many people don't see what their special gift is because it comes so easily for them. They find it so easy and effortless to do what they excel at naturally that they think everyone can do it. It doesn't occur to them that this unique talent is theirs as a birthright with which to express themselves and build their life around.
"Seek the wisdom that will untie your knot, seek the path that demands your whole being." ~Rumi
There are two simple ways to get a glimpse at who you really are and what your unique gift is to share with the world:
1. Think back to when you were a child. Who did you admire or aspire to be? Was it a famous person, a character in a book or movie, a relative or teacher? Who awed you, made you stop and pay attention? Once you have identified this person, what attributes of this person impressed you? Were they brave, funny, larger than life, strong, loving, free, giving, smart? What was it about what this person or fictional character did that called out to you? List as many attributes and actions as you can.
For example, as a child I was awed by a character I saw in a movie on TV, "Auntie Mame". Auntie Mame was a woman who was eclectic, fun, fashionable, surrounded herself with wonderfully odd creative and talented people, traveled around the world and experienced fun and fascinating events in her life. She lived this rich in experience life and mentored others to do the same. Oh, how I wanted to be Auntie Mame! However, I didn't see myself then as being extroverted enough to put myself 'out there' as she did, take risks and stand up for who she is and what she believed in. As an adult, I reconnected with my truth and now live a life centered in the truth of who I am, enjoy rich delicious experiences, am surrounded by a wonderfully eclectic group of talented people and mentor others to live their lives as richly whatever that means to them.
Who you aspire to be, what speaks to your soul as a child, is a mirror of who you are. You love what you see in that person or character because it is a reflection of you! Show up in your life expressing your Inner Auntie Mame, Ninja Warrior, your hero.
2. What energizes you? Think back to a time when you were 'in the zone'. You were totally present, in the moment, doing whatever it was that you were doing, enjoying it fully without any sense of time and space. You were totally focused and bursting with creativity. These 'in the zone' experiences are windows to see your special gifts, your unique talents. You are energized, firing on all cylinders. These are the moments that you are expressing YOU fully.
"The best thing you can do is get good at being you!" - Denis the Menace
As an example, here is an anecdote about Krista Vernoff, Head Writer and Emmy Award nominee for the television show, "Grey's Anatomy". Even though she loved to write, Krista thought she was supposed to be an actress. She held a belief that one had a better shot at making a living as an actress than as a writer. Bar-tending was suggested to her by many well meaning relatives worried about her career choice. She got quite good as an actress and was making a living at that craft. Still, she couldn't tear herself away from writing. Writing came so easy for her that she didn't give herself much credit as a writer. "You have to work hard for a living" and she was definitely working hard to be a working actress. For Krista, being an actress was exhausting! Writing was playful, what she did for fun, what she did to feed her soul. Success as a writer was always a certainty.
One day a fellow actor in a play noticed that Krista would run to her dressing room to write whenever she wasn't needed on stage. Most actors lived to be on stage where Krista lived to be offstage where she could write. Once this fellow actor commented on this upside-down state of affairs, Krista realized that if she was going to live a fulfilled live she must acknowledge and honor who she is - a writer. At the end of the play's run, Krista devoted her life to expanding and express her raison d'etre - to write!
When you commit, give your full attention and energy to standing firmly centered in the truth of who you are, life is magical. You have fed your soul, you are whole. As a complete person, you have the inner resources to give to others whether that be through your craft or through your presence in their lives. You have the energy and desire to share you with the rest of the world. You live life on purpose, in the zone, and tapped into the passion and wisdom that is yours and yours alone. This is what you are here to do. Find a way to spend more time doing what gets you ‘in the zone’.
If you are not satisfied or fully engaged in your life you have a choice. Will you remain committed to this unfulfilling life or will you discover and commit to your raison d'etre. A fulfilled life begins when you go beyond the outer threshold of your comfort zone. The choice is yours.
"Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom & get out of their own Inner Critic way; stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within, inspire the Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Show Up Naked - Honor Your Authenticity
"A poem is a naked person... Some people say that I am a poet." - Bob Dylan
When you show up naked, vulnerable, authentic and open, you allow others to genuinely see who you are. You've heard the old adage, "Actions Speak Louder than Words". It's true. When you fully realize that what you do is the fullest expression of who you are, you are enlightened. You honor the integrity of you. What you do honors your authenticity. You live consistently with the highest realization of what you know to be true.
Is your life experience is a reflection of your deepest authenticity?
"No legacy is so rich as honesty." - Shakespeare
When you live from a place of deep authenticity and let others to see your true self you a free. The proverbial chains of self-doubt and fear that hold you back from your fullest expression as a person, an artist, a creative spirit, are dissolved. You are free to create with abandon abundantly. Your inner most thoughts inspire you to fulfill your unlimited potentiality. You are energetically and enthusiastically engaged in each moment of your life. You feel good!
"No one man can, for any considerable time, wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which is the true one." - Hawthorne
Living an inauthentic life doesn't feel good. My people cover themselves up with trappings of who they are not, or who they think they 'should be'. And in the pretending comes the despair of the lie. The despair isn't created from lying to others, it is delivered through the lie to oneself. Dishonoring who you are. Doing inauthentically. Being a lie.
"To contact the deeper truth of who we are, we must engage in some activity or practice that questions what we assume to be true about ourselves." - A. H. Almaas
So, who are you? Who is this true self? Your true nature is the unconditioned part of the self that lies buried beneath the acquired traits, characteristics, and habitual patterns of your personality. It speaks through you as your Intuition, your Higher Self, or what I lovingly call your Inner Wizard. The conditioned part of you, the "supposed to be, should be, unexpressed" part of you is the ego, the Inner Critic. Unlike the inspired Wizard Within, the Inner Critic is full of self-doubt and fear. These to parts of you are integral a physical being, a human. Both play a role.
The question is, which part of you is showing up in your life expression? You may be asking, "If both parts are integral to me as a human being, am I not both the Higher Self and the Inner Critic? And the answer is no, who you are is the Higher Self, a full expression of your truth and potential. As a human in physical form, you've created this misguided Inner Critic to keep you safe, hold you back from fear and pain.
And now you might be thinking, "I need to feel fear, pain, self-doubt in order to create my art. I won't be the artist I am if I don't have fear, pain and self-doubt."
True. You can travel to the deepest depths of pain, fear and self-doubt, totally immerse yourself in those emotions to create your art without showing up in your life from that place. When you show up in the costume of pain, fear and self-doubt you are presenting yourself to the world inauthentically. You can remain authentic to your Higher Self and use the expressions of the Inner Critic as a tool rather than a way of being.
I invite you to explore the Inner Critic beliefs, expectations and vows that do not represent your truth. Try showing up naked in your life. Realize that when you fully connect with the Higher Self, the Wizard within, the one you've always known was there, you can create a profound meaningful relevant impact in your art and in your life experience.
"Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
Valery Satterwhite is an Artist Mentor who specializes in empowering creative people to succeed in their craft and business. She teaches people in the visual and performing arts how to tap into and trust their intuition, acknowledge their truth, and disarm their fear and self-doubt. No longer willing to continue as a starved creative spirit who lived conditioned inauthentic life Valery spent years developing and implementing a proven unique "Inner Wizard" methodology to empower other creative people to express their full potential. Join now to create more profoundly, more prolifically, and more profitably at http://www.InnerWizard.com. Get Free "Artist Resource Directory" too!
When you show up naked, vulnerable, authentic and open, you allow others to genuinely see who you are. You've heard the old adage, "Actions Speak Louder than Words". It's true. When you fully realize that what you do is the fullest expression of who you are, you are enlightened. You honor the integrity of you. What you do honors your authenticity. You live consistently with the highest realization of what you know to be true.
Is your life experience is a reflection of your deepest authenticity?
"No legacy is so rich as honesty." - Shakespeare
When you live from a place of deep authenticity and let others to see your true self you a free. The proverbial chains of self-doubt and fear that hold you back from your fullest expression as a person, an artist, a creative spirit, are dissolved. You are free to create with abandon abundantly. Your inner most thoughts inspire you to fulfill your unlimited potentiality. You are energetically and enthusiastically engaged in each moment of your life. You feel good!
"No one man can, for any considerable time, wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which is the true one." - Hawthorne
Living an inauthentic life doesn't feel good. My people cover themselves up with trappings of who they are not, or who they think they 'should be'. And in the pretending comes the despair of the lie. The despair isn't created from lying to others, it is delivered through the lie to oneself. Dishonoring who you are. Doing inauthentically. Being a lie.
"To contact the deeper truth of who we are, we must engage in some activity or practice that questions what we assume to be true about ourselves." - A. H. Almaas
So, who are you? Who is this true self? Your true nature is the unconditioned part of the self that lies buried beneath the acquired traits, characteristics, and habitual patterns of your personality. It speaks through you as your Intuition, your Higher Self, or what I lovingly call your Inner Wizard. The conditioned part of you, the "supposed to be, should be, unexpressed" part of you is the ego, the Inner Critic. Unlike the inspired Wizard Within, the Inner Critic is full of self-doubt and fear. These to parts of you are integral a physical being, a human. Both play a role.
The question is, which part of you is showing up in your life expression? You may be asking, "If both parts are integral to me as a human being, am I not both the Higher Self and the Inner Critic? And the answer is no, who you are is the Higher Self, a full expression of your truth and potential. As a human in physical form, you've created this misguided Inner Critic to keep you safe, hold you back from fear and pain.
And now you might be thinking, "I need to feel fear, pain, self-doubt in order to create my art. I won't be the artist I am if I don't have fear, pain and self-doubt."
True. You can travel to the deepest depths of pain, fear and self-doubt, totally immerse yourself in those emotions to create your art without showing up in your life from that place. When you show up in the costume of pain, fear and self-doubt you are presenting yourself to the world inauthentically. You can remain authentic to your Higher Self and use the expressions of the Inner Critic as a tool rather than a way of being.
I invite you to explore the Inner Critic beliefs, expectations and vows that do not represent your truth. Try showing up naked in your life. Realize that when you fully connect with the Higher Self, the Wizard within, the one you've always known was there, you can create a profound meaningful relevant impact in your art and in your life experience.
"Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
Valery Satterwhite is an Artist Mentor who specializes in empowering creative people to succeed in their craft and business. She teaches people in the visual and performing arts how to tap into and trust their intuition, acknowledge their truth, and disarm their fear and self-doubt. No longer willing to continue as a starved creative spirit who lived conditioned inauthentic life Valery spent years developing and implementing a proven unique "Inner Wizard" methodology to empower other creative people to express their full potential. Join now to create more profoundly, more prolifically, and more profitably at http://www.InnerWizard.com. Get Free "Artist Resource Directory" too!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Inner Critic: The 4 Year Old Driving Your Car
Life is a journey! It can be a easy free-flowing miraculous journey or it can be a journey of wrong turns, dead ends, crash and burns and arduous uphill routes. Some people are able to move forward in the direction of their dreams; others continue to make wrong turns or get stuck in a rut. If it's the latter chances are you have a 4-year old planning the route and driving the car. Why would you continue to let a child that can't even see over the steering wheel direct your life?
And yet you do.
Who is this child?
It is your Inner Critic. It is that well-meaning yet woefully misguided inner child. And, as a misguided child, it is frighten and doubtful about it's abilities and potential. As such, this Inner Critic serves up internal messages of self-doubt and fear as you think, feel, make choices and act as you move through your life. You, as directed by your Inner Critic, are doing the best you can. So this is not about you being at fault or to blame for the stuck in a rut or wrong turn experiences you have had. The problem lies in the map that your Inner Critic has charted for you. It's a map based on misinterpretation and it is incredibly outdated. By following this useless map, you've travelled down wrong turns, experienced crashes, dark roads and stuck up a tree or in the ditch moments. And yet you continue to use the very same map in your continued effort to get to your destination.
Albert Einstein once said, "You can't solve your problems using the same kind of thinking that created them."
You can't get to your destination using the same map that lead you to wrong turns, crashes, steep uphill slopes and ditches. It just doesn't work. You will not get to where you want to go if you keep using the same map you've been using.
So, what is this map?
The map you're using is the belief system you took on for yourself when you were a little child; starting around the age of four. You realized that you needed some guidelines to help you cope and stay safe in your environment. You don't do your homework and parent says "You'll never amount to anything." At that moment you charted a course that will lead you to "you'll never amount to anything". And you will only go down roads that lead to not amounting to anything, not accomplishing anything. You will self-sabotage your efforts to succeed.
Hey! This is not about blaming parents either! Parents are also doing the best they can. They have your best interests at heart. Young children do not typically understand context. They make broad generalizations out of what they see, hear and feel. I ask parents if they've ever said anything that their child has completely misinterpreted and the answer is always, Yes! Children misinterpret things. You misinterpreted a lot of what you saw, heard and felt.
A well-meaning teacher will say, "Johnny will have to go to the end of the line because his behavior was bad today." And Johnny's map adds the route of "I'm a bad person and should be at the end of the line." And so he goes through life going down roads that will make sure he stays at the end of the line. These roads are the choices that you make based on your map, your thought processes, what you believe about yourself and the world. And it is all based on misguided misinterpretation.
Even if you had a parent who looked you straight in the eye every day and, with clear intention, said "you are worthless" and that's exactly what they meant -- it doesn't make it true. You are the one who took on the validity of that statement and made it part of your map. And you've gone through life limiting what's possible for you because you don't believe you deserve what you want to achieve.
"All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions." - Leonardo da Vinci
Time to throw out the map and get a new one, with a better charted route!
No, don't throw the Inner Critic out of the car! It's part of you. It loves you and was only trying to protect you and keep you safe in your well mapped comfort zone. Just remove the Inner Critic from the driver's seat. Put him in the back seat with a bankie and a sippy cup. You are going to do the driving from now on.
But, with what map?
Yes, you'll need a map. Remember, the map is your thought patterns and belief systems. If you've been going down the road of "you'll never amount to anything' examine your life. Look for experiences where you have accomplished something. Heck, you've learned how to read or you wouldn't be able to read this article. You've learned how to use a computer too! I'll bet you know how to walk and talk. If you had that Inner Critic map when you were just learning how to walk and talk you wouldn't be able to walk and talk very well today. One fall on your butt or one person correcting your words would have sent you immediately off course because the map was taking you down the road of "You see, you'll never amount to anything. You'll never be able to learn how to walk and talk. You might as well give up. Quit now."
The truth is, you've accomplished a lot in your life. If you notice that you've been down the road of "I can't" look for evidence of when "you could". Change your map from "I can't because" to "I can because". Focus on all the experiences of "I can" that you've had in your life. Look at all the other people who have had the "I can" experience. If they can, so can you!
Deliberately and mindfully changing your perspective of who you are, what you can do, and what is possible for your life experience is the way to chart the course that will absolutely, positively effortlessly take you to your destination. And you might even decide upon a better and bigger place to go!
"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go."
- excerpt from "Oh! The Places You’ll Go!" by Dr. Seuss
Valery Satterwhite is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. The greatest gift Membership can give you is to reaffirm the integrity of your own being. Within you lies all the knowledge about who you are, including your challenges and desires. The ultimate mission of the International Association for Inner Wizards is to reconnect you with the incredible power that is already within you and to encourage you to recognize it, use it and rely upon this resource that is your birthright. We simply deliver back to you that which is already your own. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are empowered and guided by your Inner Wizard, your muse and personal guidance system. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
And yet you do.
Who is this child?
It is your Inner Critic. It is that well-meaning yet woefully misguided inner child. And, as a misguided child, it is frighten and doubtful about it's abilities and potential. As such, this Inner Critic serves up internal messages of self-doubt and fear as you think, feel, make choices and act as you move through your life. You, as directed by your Inner Critic, are doing the best you can. So this is not about you being at fault or to blame for the stuck in a rut or wrong turn experiences you have had. The problem lies in the map that your Inner Critic has charted for you. It's a map based on misinterpretation and it is incredibly outdated. By following this useless map, you've travelled down wrong turns, experienced crashes, dark roads and stuck up a tree or in the ditch moments. And yet you continue to use the very same map in your continued effort to get to your destination.
Albert Einstein once said, "You can't solve your problems using the same kind of thinking that created them."
You can't get to your destination using the same map that lead you to wrong turns, crashes, steep uphill slopes and ditches. It just doesn't work. You will not get to where you want to go if you keep using the same map you've been using.
So, what is this map?
The map you're using is the belief system you took on for yourself when you were a little child; starting around the age of four. You realized that you needed some guidelines to help you cope and stay safe in your environment. You don't do your homework and parent says "You'll never amount to anything." At that moment you charted a course that will lead you to "you'll never amount to anything". And you will only go down roads that lead to not amounting to anything, not accomplishing anything. You will self-sabotage your efforts to succeed.
Hey! This is not about blaming parents either! Parents are also doing the best they can. They have your best interests at heart. Young children do not typically understand context. They make broad generalizations out of what they see, hear and feel. I ask parents if they've ever said anything that their child has completely misinterpreted and the answer is always, Yes! Children misinterpret things. You misinterpreted a lot of what you saw, heard and felt.
A well-meaning teacher will say, "Johnny will have to go to the end of the line because his behavior was bad today." And Johnny's map adds the route of "I'm a bad person and should be at the end of the line." And so he goes through life going down roads that will make sure he stays at the end of the line. These roads are the choices that you make based on your map, your thought processes, what you believe about yourself and the world. And it is all based on misguided misinterpretation.
Even if you had a parent who looked you straight in the eye every day and, with clear intention, said "you are worthless" and that's exactly what they meant -- it doesn't make it true. You are the one who took on the validity of that statement and made it part of your map. And you've gone through life limiting what's possible for you because you don't believe you deserve what you want to achieve.
"All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions." - Leonardo da Vinci
Time to throw out the map and get a new one, with a better charted route!
No, don't throw the Inner Critic out of the car! It's part of you. It loves you and was only trying to protect you and keep you safe in your well mapped comfort zone. Just remove the Inner Critic from the driver's seat. Put him in the back seat with a bankie and a sippy cup. You are going to do the driving from now on.
But, with what map?
Yes, you'll need a map. Remember, the map is your thought patterns and belief systems. If you've been going down the road of "you'll never amount to anything' examine your life. Look for experiences where you have accomplished something. Heck, you've learned how to read or you wouldn't be able to read this article. You've learned how to use a computer too! I'll bet you know how to walk and talk. If you had that Inner Critic map when you were just learning how to walk and talk you wouldn't be able to walk and talk very well today. One fall on your butt or one person correcting your words would have sent you immediately off course because the map was taking you down the road of "You see, you'll never amount to anything. You'll never be able to learn how to walk and talk. You might as well give up. Quit now."
The truth is, you've accomplished a lot in your life. If you notice that you've been down the road of "I can't" look for evidence of when "you could". Change your map from "I can't because" to "I can because". Focus on all the experiences of "I can" that you've had in your life. Look at all the other people who have had the "I can" experience. If they can, so can you!
Deliberately and mindfully changing your perspective of who you are, what you can do, and what is possible for your life experience is the way to chart the course that will absolutely, positively effortlessly take you to your destination. And you might even decide upon a better and bigger place to go!
"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go."
- excerpt from "Oh! The Places You’ll Go!" by Dr. Seuss
Valery Satterwhite is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. The greatest gift Membership can give you is to reaffirm the integrity of your own being. Within you lies all the knowledge about who you are, including your challenges and desires. The ultimate mission of the International Association for Inner Wizards is to reconnect you with the incredible power that is already within you and to encourage you to recognize it, use it and rely upon this resource that is your birthright. We simply deliver back to you that which is already your own. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are empowered and guided by your Inner Wizard, your muse and personal guidance system. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Aging: A Powerful Beauty Tip
In today's abundance of beauty lotions and potions, nips and tucks, that serve to resist and camouflage the signs of aging we rob ourselves of the most powerful beauty enhancement resource available to mankind. I'm speaking of the aging process itself.
The prevailing and repetitive message we get in today's media and societal consciousness is that youth is good; old age is bad. Youth is viewed as vibrant and desirable whereas old age is considered a burden and a deterioration of the body and soul. People fear aging and believe that if youth is relevant, they will become irrelevant in the autumn of their lives. Beliefs about age, like other beliefs, shape your experience. If young adulthood is considered the best time of life then old age is viewed as the opposite, a time of failure and decay.
Many who follow such beliefs try to hide from themselves desperately trying to be and stay young. The look upon their reflection in the mirror with horror as they watch their face slowly slide off of their face as the skin loses its elasticity. Some people fear aging so much that they are willing to slice and dice themselves into a sometimes unrecognizable appearance to ward off any evidence of the birthdays celebrated.
I get that people want to look the best they can. I want to look the best I can. Looking your best is about showing your finest self, not resisting yourself or even denying who you are and have become. The truth is, youth and old age have their place within the framework of spiritual growth. Each plays an important role. Old age is a highly creative part of living. People sometimes misinterpret the return to the playful appreciation of life expressed by many in their elder years as a sign of a detachment from the busy and 'relevant' world.
When a person becomes older and retires the mind is freed to use more, not less, of its abilities. There is a return to the luxury of creating with abandon. Shoulds and 'must dos' give way to whimsy. Some believe that this change is a sign of mental deterioration and think that their age has betrayed them, made them less than in some way. Some elderly people give into these beliefs as they view themselves as leftovers, shadows of their better selves and useless. The sad thing is many elderly people allow themselves to become their beliefs to conform to the societal definition of old age.
My father celebrated his 93rd birthday a few months ago. I flew to Miami to be with him on his birthday. While I love my Father dearly we've had a delicate relationship over the years. He didn't know what to make of me and I viewed him as cold and cantankerous. As I aged I realized that the two of us were stuck in what we thought a father and daughter 'should be' instead of allowing ourselves to experience who we are. Over the years my visits with my father seemed to be about whether or not I had a man in my life yet or whether or not my paycheck was big enough. I don't know what his perspectives of our visits were. I wouldn't be surprised if he felt that I didn't see him for who he was either. Truth is, I didn't.
What I saw before me on the day of my Father's 93rd birthday was a man with a glimmer in his eye, several jokes up his sleeve and an appreciation for that moment in time. And he was excited about the day ahead. What a delight! Here was the Father I had always wanted. He was there all the time. I never knew it. I never saw it. While he was busy being relevant in his younger working years, he let go of his creative joyful spirit. In his old age, he allowed himself to return to a state of grace. A state of grace is relevant, vibrant, influential and inspirational if we just take a moment to acknowledge the gift before and within us.
Grace is beautiful. People who live within a state of grace are beautiful. In the years spent busy building careers and hanging onto youth for dear life we are often in anything but a state of grace. We're stressed, restless, desperate, agitated; so busy busy busy doing that we forget about being. Embracing the approach of old age restores our state of graceful being-ness and the light within us shines. Nothing is more beautiful.
Perhaps one day society will cherish and value the wisdom and state of grace found in old age. Perhaps one day we will allow ourselves to openly rejoice our advancing years. Perhaps that day is today.
Valery Satterwhite is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. The greatest gift Membership can give you is to reaffirm the integrity of your own being. Within you lies all the knowledge about who you are, including your challenges and desires. The ultimate mission of the International Association for Inner Wizards is to reconnect you with the incredible power that is already within you and to encourage you to recognize it, use it and rely upon this resource that is your birthright. We simply deliver back to you that which is already your own. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are empowered and guided by your Inner Wizard, your muse and personal guidance system. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
The prevailing and repetitive message we get in today's media and societal consciousness is that youth is good; old age is bad. Youth is viewed as vibrant and desirable whereas old age is considered a burden and a deterioration of the body and soul. People fear aging and believe that if youth is relevant, they will become irrelevant in the autumn of their lives. Beliefs about age, like other beliefs, shape your experience. If young adulthood is considered the best time of life then old age is viewed as the opposite, a time of failure and decay.
Many who follow such beliefs try to hide from themselves desperately trying to be and stay young. The look upon their reflection in the mirror with horror as they watch their face slowly slide off of their face as the skin loses its elasticity. Some people fear aging so much that they are willing to slice and dice themselves into a sometimes unrecognizable appearance to ward off any evidence of the birthdays celebrated.
I get that people want to look the best they can. I want to look the best I can. Looking your best is about showing your finest self, not resisting yourself or even denying who you are and have become. The truth is, youth and old age have their place within the framework of spiritual growth. Each plays an important role. Old age is a highly creative part of living. People sometimes misinterpret the return to the playful appreciation of life expressed by many in their elder years as a sign of a detachment from the busy and 'relevant' world.
When a person becomes older and retires the mind is freed to use more, not less, of its abilities. There is a return to the luxury of creating with abandon. Shoulds and 'must dos' give way to whimsy. Some believe that this change is a sign of mental deterioration and think that their age has betrayed them, made them less than in some way. Some elderly people give into these beliefs as they view themselves as leftovers, shadows of their better selves and useless. The sad thing is many elderly people allow themselves to become their beliefs to conform to the societal definition of old age.
My father celebrated his 93rd birthday a few months ago. I flew to Miami to be with him on his birthday. While I love my Father dearly we've had a delicate relationship over the years. He didn't know what to make of me and I viewed him as cold and cantankerous. As I aged I realized that the two of us were stuck in what we thought a father and daughter 'should be' instead of allowing ourselves to experience who we are. Over the years my visits with my father seemed to be about whether or not I had a man in my life yet or whether or not my paycheck was big enough. I don't know what his perspectives of our visits were. I wouldn't be surprised if he felt that I didn't see him for who he was either. Truth is, I didn't.
What I saw before me on the day of my Father's 93rd birthday was a man with a glimmer in his eye, several jokes up his sleeve and an appreciation for that moment in time. And he was excited about the day ahead. What a delight! Here was the Father I had always wanted. He was there all the time. I never knew it. I never saw it. While he was busy being relevant in his younger working years, he let go of his creative joyful spirit. In his old age, he allowed himself to return to a state of grace. A state of grace is relevant, vibrant, influential and inspirational if we just take a moment to acknowledge the gift before and within us.
Grace is beautiful. People who live within a state of grace are beautiful. In the years spent busy building careers and hanging onto youth for dear life we are often in anything but a state of grace. We're stressed, restless, desperate, agitated; so busy busy busy doing that we forget about being. Embracing the approach of old age restores our state of graceful being-ness and the light within us shines. Nothing is more beautiful.
Perhaps one day society will cherish and value the wisdom and state of grace found in old age. Perhaps one day we will allow ourselves to openly rejoice our advancing years. Perhaps that day is today.
Valery Satterwhite is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. The greatest gift Membership can give you is to reaffirm the integrity of your own being. Within you lies all the knowledge about who you are, including your challenges and desires. The ultimate mission of the International Association for Inner Wizards is to reconnect you with the incredible power that is already within you and to encourage you to recognize it, use it and rely upon this resource that is your birthright. We simply deliver back to you that which is already your own. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are empowered and guided by your Inner Wizard, your muse and personal guidance system. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Lousy Childhood? Now You Can Be Your Own Parent
You want to improve your life. You're sick and tired of being sick and tired. You are willing to make changes as long as these changes don't disturb what is already comfortable. And you don't want improvement to require a lot of work. You want a quick fix. And you may not realize that even though you don't like it you're quiet comfortable in your sick and tired of being sick and tired existence. So you unknowingly fight back to stay right where you are.
And in that place of right where you are, your head is filled with "I should do" or "I'm supposed to be" thoughts. This self-defeating attitude weighs heavily on your daily experience. I'm not, not, not and I should, should, should. All day long.
You should according to whom? Are you playing the vocal soundtrack of parents, teachers and other well-meaning advisors telling you what you should want, should do, and should have in your life? "You should do this." "You can't have that." "You can't be a whatever and make money." Do you even stop to consider if you even want have, be or do what they suggest? And what you are now telling yourself endlessly that you are not that you should?
Who is really should-ing on you?
YOU!
Stop shoulding on yourself! Those shoulds and must do's are limiting and defeating. They range from unsupportive to ridicule and judgment. Sometimes well intentioned shoulds and musts dictated to you by others are abusive. They can penetrate deeply with hurt, pain and feelings of inadequacy. Self-defeating statements violate who you are. Your self-talk agreement with these statements only serve to separate you from what you really want and, thus, can suck the life energy right out of you. You spend your life swimming upstream fighting against what you really want to reach what you should or must want. And you're tired. And you're sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Stop playing the beat of the should drum that obviously isn't working for you. Be willing to move beyond this comfortable yet unfulfilling spot and play a new tune. You're an adult now. You no longer have to listen to parents and others as you deliberately create the life that you want to experience. Look for evidence of people who can and are doing what you've been told is impossible for you. If they can be, do or have it so can you.
Get out of your comfort zone. Become your own parent. That's your quick fix. Give yourself encouragement to support your real wants in life and give yourself plenty of positive feedback as you move towards reaching your goals, your desires, the life of your dreams.
"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." - Albert Einstein
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. The greatest gift Membership can give you is to reaffirm the integrity of your own being. Within you lies all the knowledge about who you are, including your challenges and desires. The ultimate mission of the International Association for Inner Wizards is to reconnect you with the incredible power that is already within you and to encourage you to recognize it, use it and rely upon this resource that is your birthright. We simply deliver back to you that which is already your own. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are empowered and guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
And in that place of right where you are, your head is filled with "I should do" or "I'm supposed to be" thoughts. This self-defeating attitude weighs heavily on your daily experience. I'm not, not, not and I should, should, should. All day long.
You should according to whom? Are you playing the vocal soundtrack of parents, teachers and other well-meaning advisors telling you what you should want, should do, and should have in your life? "You should do this." "You can't have that." "You can't be a whatever and make money." Do you even stop to consider if you even want have, be or do what they suggest? And what you are now telling yourself endlessly that you are not that you should?
Who is really should-ing on you?
YOU!
Stop shoulding on yourself! Those shoulds and must do's are limiting and defeating. They range from unsupportive to ridicule and judgment. Sometimes well intentioned shoulds and musts dictated to you by others are abusive. They can penetrate deeply with hurt, pain and feelings of inadequacy. Self-defeating statements violate who you are. Your self-talk agreement with these statements only serve to separate you from what you really want and, thus, can suck the life energy right out of you. You spend your life swimming upstream fighting against what you really want to reach what you should or must want. And you're tired. And you're sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Stop playing the beat of the should drum that obviously isn't working for you. Be willing to move beyond this comfortable yet unfulfilling spot and play a new tune. You're an adult now. You no longer have to listen to parents and others as you deliberately create the life that you want to experience. Look for evidence of people who can and are doing what you've been told is impossible for you. If they can be, do or have it so can you.
Get out of your comfort zone. Become your own parent. That's your quick fix. Give yourself encouragement to support your real wants in life and give yourself plenty of positive feedback as you move towards reaching your goals, your desires, the life of your dreams.
"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." - Albert Einstein
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. The greatest gift Membership can give you is to reaffirm the integrity of your own being. Within you lies all the knowledge about who you are, including your challenges and desires. The ultimate mission of the International Association for Inner Wizards is to reconnect you with the incredible power that is already within you and to encourage you to recognize it, use it and rely upon this resource that is your birthright. We simply deliver back to you that which is already your own. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are empowered and guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
Lousy Childhood? Now You Can Be Your Own Parent
You want to improve your life. You're sick and tired of being sick and tired. You are willing to make changes as long as these changes don't disturb what is already comfortable. And you don't want improvement to require a lot of work. You want a quick fix. And you may not realize that even though you don't like it you're quiet comfortable in your sick and tired of being sick and tired existence. So you unknowingly fight back to stay right where you are.
And in that place of right where you are, your head is filled with "I should do" or "I'm supposed to be" thoughts. This self-defeating attitude weighs heavily on your daily experience. I'm not, not, not and I should, should, should. All day long.
You should according to whom? Are you playing the vocal soundtrack of parents, teachers and other well-meaning advisors telling you what you should want, should do, and should have in your life? "You should do this." "You can't have that." "You can't be a whatever and make money." Do you even stop to consider if you even want have, be or do what they suggest? And what you are now telling yourself endlessly that you are not that you should?
Who is really should-ing on you?
YOU!
Stop shoulding on yourself! Those shoulds and must do's are limiting and defeating. They range from unsupportive to ridicule and judgment. Sometimes well intentioned shoulds and musts dictated to you by others are abusive. They can penetrate deeply with hurt, pain and feelings of inadequacy. Self-defeating statements violate who you are. Your self-talk agreement with these statements only serve to separate you from what you really want and, thus, can suck the life energy right out of you. You spend your life swimming upstream fighting against what you really want to reach what you should or must want. And you're tired. And you're sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Stop playing the beat of the should drum that obviously isn't working for you. Be willing to move beyond this comfortable yet unfulfilling spot and play a new tune. You're an adult now. You no longer have to listen to parents and others as you deliberately create the life that you want to experience. Look for evidence of people who can and are doing what you've been told is impossible for you. If they can be, do or have it so can you.
Get out of your comfort zone. Become your own parent. That's your quick fix. Give yourself encouragement to support your real wants in life and give yourself plenty of positive feedback as you move towards reaching your goals, your desires, the life of your dreams.
"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." - Albert Einstein
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. The greatest gift Membership can give you is to reaffirm the integrity of your own being. Within you lies all the knowledge about who you are, including your challenges and desires. The ultimate mission of the International Association for Inner Wizards is to reconnect you with the incredible power that is already within you and to encourage you to recognize it, use it and rely upon this resource that is your birthright. We simply deliver back to you that which is already your own. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are empowered and guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
And in that place of right where you are, your head is filled with "I should do" or "I'm supposed to be" thoughts. This self-defeating attitude weighs heavily on your daily experience. I'm not, not, not and I should, should, should. All day long.
You should according to whom? Are you playing the vocal soundtrack of parents, teachers and other well-meaning advisors telling you what you should want, should do, and should have in your life? "You should do this." "You can't have that." "You can't be a whatever and make money." Do you even stop to consider if you even want have, be or do what they suggest? And what you are now telling yourself endlessly that you are not that you should?
Who is really should-ing on you?
YOU!
Stop shoulding on yourself! Those shoulds and must do's are limiting and defeating. They range from unsupportive to ridicule and judgment. Sometimes well intentioned shoulds and musts dictated to you by others are abusive. They can penetrate deeply with hurt, pain and feelings of inadequacy. Self-defeating statements violate who you are. Your self-talk agreement with these statements only serve to separate you from what you really want and, thus, can suck the life energy right out of you. You spend your life swimming upstream fighting against what you really want to reach what you should or must want. And you're tired. And you're sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Stop playing the beat of the should drum that obviously isn't working for you. Be willing to move beyond this comfortable yet unfulfilling spot and play a new tune. You're an adult now. You no longer have to listen to parents and others as you deliberately create the life that you want to experience. Look for evidence of people who can and are doing what you've been told is impossible for you. If they can be, do or have it so can you.
Get out of your comfort zone. Become your own parent. That's your quick fix. Give yourself encouragement to support your real wants in life and give yourself plenty of positive feedback as you move towards reaching your goals, your desires, the life of your dreams.
"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." - Albert Einstein
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. The greatest gift Membership can give you is to reaffirm the integrity of your own being. Within you lies all the knowledge about who you are, including your challenges and desires. The ultimate mission of the International Association for Inner Wizards is to reconnect you with the incredible power that is already within you and to encourage you to recognize it, use it and rely upon this resource that is your birthright. We simply deliver back to you that which is already your own. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are empowered and guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Stop Putting Up With, Start Living
Are you putting up with things in your life that annoy you or drains the energy right out of you? A good majority of people have been carrying around suitcases filled with unfinished projects and things they are tolerating. You could be tolerating an annoying neighbor, excess weight, or a bad choice of home decor. These are things that get in your way and keep you from living the life of your dreams.
You tolerate what you don't like at home, work and in your personal life. You don't like these things but you tolerate them anyway. You don't like the stack of paper that's piled up high on your desk. You get frustrated when you can't find what you want to wear in your disorganized closet. You dread the long commute to work. Your car rattles as you drive and you tolerate the noise in stead of taking it in for repair. Are there science projects growing in your refrigerator?
These are the things that, for whatever reason, you tolerate in your life. Sometimes, they’re minor inconveniences like a dripping faucet or a friend that never shows up on time. People put up with, accept, take on and are burdened by other people's behaviors, circumstances, unfinished business, problems, and 'stuff'. People tolerate their own negative behavior even if they don't like how they are behaving.
People tolerate old and no longer necessary thoughts and belief systems. There are even people who tolerate serious things like physical or emotional abuse. Why is that?
You do not do anything unless you get something out of it. Yes, you are getting something out of tolerating what you are putting up with in your life. What does tolerating allow you to be, do and have. If you examine your tolerations you will Find Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) to justify the toleration. It comes down to a basic fear of moving beyond your current comfort zone. You don't like your current comfort zone that includes the things you put up with but its what you know and, therefore, safe. No surprises.
So what are you tolerating?
Take some time to look at your life as it is right now. What are you tolerating that you’d rather be rid of? Make a list of what you have in your life that you do not want yet are tolerating. As you think of more items, add them to your list. What are you getting out of putting up with these things, these experiences? What would happen if you stopped tolerating and made appropriate changes? Who would you be, what would you have and what could you do if you were no longer tolerating these things? What is stopping you from stopping your toleration?
As you clear out the clutter, the incompletes, the stuff you put up with you will create a clear path and space to bring in the things and experiences you do want to have in your life. If you want to embark on a road to personal growth and abundant living then you have to clear your runway. Get rid of the debris of tolerations so you can take off and soar!
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. The greatest gift Membership can give you is to reaffirm the integrity of your own being. Within you lies all the knowledge about who you are, including your challenges and desires. The ultimate mission of the International Association for Inner Wizards is to reconnect you with the incredible power that is already within you and to encourage you to recognize it, use it and rely upon this resource that is your birthright. We simply deliver back to you that which is already your own. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are empowered and guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
You tolerate what you don't like at home, work and in your personal life. You don't like these things but you tolerate them anyway. You don't like the stack of paper that's piled up high on your desk. You get frustrated when you can't find what you want to wear in your disorganized closet. You dread the long commute to work. Your car rattles as you drive and you tolerate the noise in stead of taking it in for repair. Are there science projects growing in your refrigerator?
These are the things that, for whatever reason, you tolerate in your life. Sometimes, they’re minor inconveniences like a dripping faucet or a friend that never shows up on time. People put up with, accept, take on and are burdened by other people's behaviors, circumstances, unfinished business, problems, and 'stuff'. People tolerate their own negative behavior even if they don't like how they are behaving.
People tolerate old and no longer necessary thoughts and belief systems. There are even people who tolerate serious things like physical or emotional abuse. Why is that?
You do not do anything unless you get something out of it. Yes, you are getting something out of tolerating what you are putting up with in your life. What does tolerating allow you to be, do and have. If you examine your tolerations you will Find Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) to justify the toleration. It comes down to a basic fear of moving beyond your current comfort zone. You don't like your current comfort zone that includes the things you put up with but its what you know and, therefore, safe. No surprises.
So what are you tolerating?
Take some time to look at your life as it is right now. What are you tolerating that you’d rather be rid of? Make a list of what you have in your life that you do not want yet are tolerating. As you think of more items, add them to your list. What are you getting out of putting up with these things, these experiences? What would happen if you stopped tolerating and made appropriate changes? Who would you be, what would you have and what could you do if you were no longer tolerating these things? What is stopping you from stopping your toleration?
As you clear out the clutter, the incompletes, the stuff you put up with you will create a clear path and space to bring in the things and experiences you do want to have in your life. If you want to embark on a road to personal growth and abundant living then you have to clear your runway. Get rid of the debris of tolerations so you can take off and soar!
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. The greatest gift Membership can give you is to reaffirm the integrity of your own being. Within you lies all the knowledge about who you are, including your challenges and desires. The ultimate mission of the International Association for Inner Wizards is to reconnect you with the incredible power that is already within you and to encourage you to recognize it, use it and rely upon this resource that is your birthright. We simply deliver back to you that which is already your own. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are empowered and guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
The Ego: A Misguided Inner Critic
I spent several weeks envisioning a graphical image of the Inner Critic. I worked with a fabulous cartoonist, Gary Cooper of Cooptoons, to create a gnarly looking, yet lovable and fun creature. I wanted something that at first glance looked scary and at the second glance looked hug-able. The Inner Critic is really a frightened little child. And this frighten little child has the job of keeping you safe and happy. While it means well, this Inner Critic is woefully misguided. It thinks that what will keep you safe and happy is to keep you stuck, right where you are, in your current comfort zone. It knows that you may not like your current comfort zone but it's what the Inner Critic knows and so it feels safe. The Inner Critic will resist, throw a fit of drama, if you try to stretch, grow and move beyond your current comfort zone.
When you observe the ego in yourself,
you are beginning to go beyond it.
Don't take the ego too seriously.
When you detect egoist behavior in yourself, smile.
At times you may even laugh...
Above all, know that the ego isn't personal.
It isn't who you are.
David R. Hawkins, M.D. Ph.D., author of "Power vs. Force"
Yes, smile. Comfort that scared little child with a reminder that you will always be safe. Your purpose here is to stretch, grow and continuously move into newer, bigger and better comfort zones. Tell it that what it fears isn't real. Put him in the back seat with a sippy cup and a blankie and you travel forward on your personal journey of self-awareness, abundance and peaceful joyful living.
"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." - Albert Einstein
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. She teaches people how to tame their self-doubt and fear, empower their intuition, truth and inspiration to live a joyous and peaceful life. Everything you need to be, do and have is already within you. Your Inner Wizard is the best coach, guide, guru, teacher and shaman you could ever hope to have. Let your Inner Critic take a back seat, with a blankie and a sippy cup, as you deliberately place your Inner Wizard power in the driver seat as you drive towards your rich delicious life. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
The Ego: A Misguided Inner Critic
I spent several weeks envisioning a graphical image of the Inner Critic. I worked with a fabulous cartoonist, Gary Cooper of Cooptoons, to create a gnarly looking, yet lovable and fun creature. I wanted something that at first glance looked scary and at the second glance looked hug-able. The Inner Critic is really a frightened little child. And this frighten little child has the job of keeping you safe and happy. While it means well, this Inner Critic is woefully misguided. It thinks that what will keep you safe and happy is to keep you stuck, right where you are, in your current comfort zone. It knows that you may not like your current comfort zone but it's what the Inner Critic knows and so it feels safe. The Inner Critic will resist, throw a fit of drama, if you try to stretch, grow and move beyond your current comfort zone.
When you observe the ego in yourself,
you are beginning to go beyond it.
Don't take the ego too seriously.
When you detect egoist behavior in yourself, smile.
At times you may even laugh...
Above all, know that the ego isn't personal.
It isn't who you are.
David R. Hawkins, M.D. Ph.D., author of "Power vs. Force"
Yes, smile. Comfort that scared little child with a reminder that you will always be safe. Your purpose here is to stretch, grow and continuously move into newer, bigger and better comfort zones. Tell it that what it fears isn't real. Put him in the back seat with a sippy cup and a blankie and you travel forward on your personal journey of self-awareness, abundance and peaceful joyful living.
"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." - Albert Einstein
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. She teaches people how to tame their self-doubt and fear, empower their intuition, truth and inspiration to live a joyous and peaceful life. Everything you need to be, do and have is already within you. Your Inner Wizard is the best coach, guide, guru, teacher and shaman you could ever hope to have. Let your Inner Critic take a back seat, with a blankie and a sippy cup, as you deliberately place your Inner Wizard power in the driver seat as you drive towards your rich delicious life. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
EFT is Unconditional Love
Many people have discovered the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to relieve emotional blocks and stress. EFT was developed on the basic discovery that the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy system. Tapping with specific attention and intention to relieve an emotional block on the body's meridian points - acupressure instead of acupuncture - the body's energy system will realign and remove a disruption or block, thus altering emotional behavior patterns within the individual.
People beat the drum and beat the drum with their story. "I'm not fill-in-the-blank enough" to whatever, or "I did or felt some unwanted thing" and "that's why I can't be, do or have what I want in life" is the story many people tell themselves and others throughout their life. And they subconsciously work hard to make sure the story stays true. It's how they identify themselves. People may not like their story but it's what they know so it's safe and comfortable. The disrupted life is all they know even these same people long for some other way of being.
EFT has helped many people get out of tired old limiting and often painful comfort zones.
How does EFT work? Is it really about tapping with intention on the body's meridian points? Could be, yet that doesn't explain why many people find relief using EFT while missing every point along the meridian. Many people don't even tap, they just imagine themselves tapping and find relief. So, how does EFT really work?
EFT starts with a set-up statement while tapping on the fatty part of the side of the hand - the karate chop point. This statement has the following structure:
"Even though I have this (fear, pain, issue, conflict, unwanted thing), I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
Let me repeat the last part of that sentence, "I deeply and completely love and accept myself".
For many people this is the first time they've ever uttered, let alone thought, that they could deeply and completely love and accept themselves. All emotional healing is a process of profoundly loving and accepting oneself. An unconditional love of self.
Yes, people can and do behave badly. Mistakes are made. Yet no one gets out of bed in the morning and says "How can I cause problems for myself and others today?" No one deliberately self-sabotages or hurts others. Everyone is doing the best they can with the light, the emotional intelligence, they have to see. And some people have a few more batteries in that flashlight than others. Yet, everyone is doing the best they can.
The key to unconditional love of self and others is this understanding that even when woefully misguided you and everyone else is doing the best they can. Even the most horrible action was thought to be a good idea for the person committing it. Not much light in that flashlight!
Instead of beating the drum about your story of 'not enough' or 'can't because', beating yourself up, love and accept yourself as someone doing the best he or she can. Shine some light upon yourself. Give yourself permission to change your story and be, do or have enough so you can be, do and have whatever you long to be, do and have. Forgive and let go of your perceived limitations and mistakes. Embrace the gift in the lesson learned. Find evidence to the contrary of "I'm not enough".
Unconditional love is the freedom and release of fear, pain and all limitation. You are meant to be and express unconditional love. When you limit this expression you limit yourself. And the greatest energetic power is unconditional love. It is available to us at any moment we focus upon it. Unconditional love is the creative force of your unlimited possibility!
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love." - Sophocles
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. Learn how to tame your Inner Critic, the voice of your self-doubt and fear, and empower your Inner Wizard, your intuition and inspiration, to effortlessly turn your dreams into reality. Everything you need to be, do and have is already within you. Your Inner Wizard is the best coach, guide, guru, teacher and shaman you could ever hope to have. Let your Inner Critic take a back seat, with a blankie and a sippy cup, as you deliberately place your Inner Wizard power in the driver seat as you drive towards your rich delicious life. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
People beat the drum and beat the drum with their story. "I'm not fill-in-the-blank enough" to whatever, or "I did or felt some unwanted thing" and "that's why I can't be, do or have what I want in life" is the story many people tell themselves and others throughout their life. And they subconsciously work hard to make sure the story stays true. It's how they identify themselves. People may not like their story but it's what they know so it's safe and comfortable. The disrupted life is all they know even these same people long for some other way of being.
EFT has helped many people get out of tired old limiting and often painful comfort zones.
How does EFT work? Is it really about tapping with intention on the body's meridian points? Could be, yet that doesn't explain why many people find relief using EFT while missing every point along the meridian. Many people don't even tap, they just imagine themselves tapping and find relief. So, how does EFT really work?
EFT starts with a set-up statement while tapping on the fatty part of the side of the hand - the karate chop point. This statement has the following structure:
"Even though I have this (fear, pain, issue, conflict, unwanted thing), I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
Let me repeat the last part of that sentence, "I deeply and completely love and accept myself".
For many people this is the first time they've ever uttered, let alone thought, that they could deeply and completely love and accept themselves. All emotional healing is a process of profoundly loving and accepting oneself. An unconditional love of self.
Yes, people can and do behave badly. Mistakes are made. Yet no one gets out of bed in the morning and says "How can I cause problems for myself and others today?" No one deliberately self-sabotages or hurts others. Everyone is doing the best they can with the light, the emotional intelligence, they have to see. And some people have a few more batteries in that flashlight than others. Yet, everyone is doing the best they can.
The key to unconditional love of self and others is this understanding that even when woefully misguided you and everyone else is doing the best they can. Even the most horrible action was thought to be a good idea for the person committing it. Not much light in that flashlight!
Instead of beating the drum about your story of 'not enough' or 'can't because', beating yourself up, love and accept yourself as someone doing the best he or she can. Shine some light upon yourself. Give yourself permission to change your story and be, do or have enough so you can be, do and have whatever you long to be, do and have. Forgive and let go of your perceived limitations and mistakes. Embrace the gift in the lesson learned. Find evidence to the contrary of "I'm not enough".
Unconditional love is the freedom and release of fear, pain and all limitation. You are meant to be and express unconditional love. When you limit this expression you limit yourself. And the greatest energetic power is unconditional love. It is available to us at any moment we focus upon it. Unconditional love is the creative force of your unlimited possibility!
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love." - Sophocles
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. Learn how to tame your Inner Critic, the voice of your self-doubt and fear, and empower your Inner Wizard, your intuition and inspiration, to effortlessly turn your dreams into reality. Everything you need to be, do and have is already within you. Your Inner Wizard is the best coach, guide, guru, teacher and shaman you could ever hope to have. Let your Inner Critic take a back seat, with a blankie and a sippy cup, as you deliberately place your Inner Wizard power in the driver seat as you drive towards your rich delicious life. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Inspiring Athletes: "Don't Make Me Cry, Roy"
I spent a delightful weekend reading Roy Firestone's book, "Don't Make Me Cry, Roy - Adventures in Interviewing". Roy is a known sportscaster famous for his poignant personal interviews with over 5,000 sports stars and other celebrities. You might have seen him as himself in the movie "Jerry Maguire" where he brings Cuba Gooding Jr.'s character to crocodile tears during a televised interview.
I am not a sports fan. I had no idea what teams were playing in the Superbowl. So, why was I reading Roy's book? Roy has the unprecedented ability to get into and reveal the mindset of his guest and deliver their stories in an honest and humorous tone. What makes these people champions and what makes them often crash and burn in the tabloids is fascinating to me. Roy's book delivers humorous personal anecdotes and touching emotional stories that are 'offered up from the heart, and from the best seat in the house'.
Roy also describes his own personal journey as a sports fan, world-class interviewer, performer and father as he turned his dreams into reality and was inspired by others along the way. Roy discovered that the life of an athlete and his own life paralleled in that it wasn't just about perspiration, it was about inspiration too. He was inspired by those who triumphed over enormous odds in their professional sports careers as well as their personal lives. He learned valuable lessons from those who seemingly had it all and threw it away with inflated egos, unsportsmanlike behavior and bad judgement. Perhaps the most profound stories were the ones where a fallen superstar picked himself up to win the next chapter in his life. Yes, some of our coveted sports giants went from knucklehead jerk status to hero and left a legacy in the inspiration they provided off the field.
Here are a few examples from the book:
Magic Johnson - Went from super basketball star to cast-out tagged with the stigma of A.I.D.S. and then beloved philanthropic entrepreneur. Magic said to Roy, "What A.I.D.S. taught me was to love your dreams more. The biggest thing I dreamed as a kid was I always wanted to be viewed as a businessman, someone who could see something and make it happen. So when I talk about rebuilding inner cities, and people told me there was no money and no money to do it, I said we had to do it, we need to put some pride in this community."
And he did it. He built theaters, franchised stores, restaurants and fitness centers. He built growth where there was none, created jobs where there was none and opened up possibilities for people who had none before. This is Magic's legacy. He continues to fulfill his wildest dreams by discovering the gift in what is viewed as a death sentence for many. Magic is the shining example that dreams can always come true if you believe - believe in your self.
Andre Agassi speaking to the crowd on his 2006 U.S. Open defeat:
"The scoreboard said I lost today but the scoreboard doesn't say what I have found. And over the last 21 years I have found loyalty. You pulled for me on the court and also in life. I've found inspiration. You have willed me to succeed even in my lowest moments. And I've found generosity. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams - dreams I could never have reached without you. Over the last 21 years I have found you and I will take you, and the memory of you, with me for the rest of my life. Thank you."
This statement was from that once very public jerk of a trouble maker, a spoiled punk of a kid on and off the court. Tennis may have delivered a fortune to Agassi but the gift that mattered, that influenced his life more than anything else, was the lesson he learned about compassion. Since his 2006 defeat, Agassi's legacy has been his compassion and philanthropic endeavors for underprivileged children.
This is just a small glimpse into the treasure chest of inspiring and heart-wrenching stories told by Roy Firestone, the guy sitting front-row center to the lives, loves and losses of giants on and off the game. The real champions are the ones who scored biggest in life. I encourage you to pick up a copy today at Amazon.com.
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. Learn how to tame your Inner Critic, the voice of your self-doubt and fear, and empower your Inner Wizard, your intuition and inspiration, to effortlessly turn your dreams into reality. Everything you need to be, do and have is already within you. Your Inner Wizard is the best coach, guide, guru, teacher and shaman you could ever hope to have. Let your Inner Critic take a back seat, with a blankie and a sippy cup, as you deliberately place your Inner Wizard power in the driver seat as you drive towards your rich delicious life. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
I am not a sports fan. I had no idea what teams were playing in the Superbowl. So, why was I reading Roy's book? Roy has the unprecedented ability to get into and reveal the mindset of his guest and deliver their stories in an honest and humorous tone. What makes these people champions and what makes them often crash and burn in the tabloids is fascinating to me. Roy's book delivers humorous personal anecdotes and touching emotional stories that are 'offered up from the heart, and from the best seat in the house'.
Roy also describes his own personal journey as a sports fan, world-class interviewer, performer and father as he turned his dreams into reality and was inspired by others along the way. Roy discovered that the life of an athlete and his own life paralleled in that it wasn't just about perspiration, it was about inspiration too. He was inspired by those who triumphed over enormous odds in their professional sports careers as well as their personal lives. He learned valuable lessons from those who seemingly had it all and threw it away with inflated egos, unsportsmanlike behavior and bad judgement. Perhaps the most profound stories were the ones where a fallen superstar picked himself up to win the next chapter in his life. Yes, some of our coveted sports giants went from knucklehead jerk status to hero and left a legacy in the inspiration they provided off the field.
Here are a few examples from the book:
Magic Johnson - Went from super basketball star to cast-out tagged with the stigma of A.I.D.S. and then beloved philanthropic entrepreneur. Magic said to Roy, "What A.I.D.S. taught me was to love your dreams more. The biggest thing I dreamed as a kid was I always wanted to be viewed as a businessman, someone who could see something and make it happen. So when I talk about rebuilding inner cities, and people told me there was no money and no money to do it, I said we had to do it, we need to put some pride in this community."
And he did it. He built theaters, franchised stores, restaurants and fitness centers. He built growth where there was none, created jobs where there was none and opened up possibilities for people who had none before. This is Magic's legacy. He continues to fulfill his wildest dreams by discovering the gift in what is viewed as a death sentence for many. Magic is the shining example that dreams can always come true if you believe - believe in your self.
Andre Agassi speaking to the crowd on his 2006 U.S. Open defeat:
"The scoreboard said I lost today but the scoreboard doesn't say what I have found. And over the last 21 years I have found loyalty. You pulled for me on the court and also in life. I've found inspiration. You have willed me to succeed even in my lowest moments. And I've found generosity. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams - dreams I could never have reached without you. Over the last 21 years I have found you and I will take you, and the memory of you, with me for the rest of my life. Thank you."
This statement was from that once very public jerk of a trouble maker, a spoiled punk of a kid on and off the court. Tennis may have delivered a fortune to Agassi but the gift that mattered, that influenced his life more than anything else, was the lesson he learned about compassion. Since his 2006 defeat, Agassi's legacy has been his compassion and philanthropic endeavors for underprivileged children.
This is just a small glimpse into the treasure chest of inspiring and heart-wrenching stories told by Roy Firestone, the guy sitting front-row center to the lives, loves and losses of giants on and off the game. The real champions are the ones who scored biggest in life. I encourage you to pick up a copy today at Amazon.com.
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. Learn how to tame your Inner Critic, the voice of your self-doubt and fear, and empower your Inner Wizard, your intuition and inspiration, to effortlessly turn your dreams into reality. Everything you need to be, do and have is already within you. Your Inner Wizard is the best coach, guide, guru, teacher and shaman you could ever hope to have. Let your Inner Critic take a back seat, with a blankie and a sippy cup, as you deliberately place your Inner Wizard power in the driver seat as you drive towards your rich delicious life. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Overwhelmed? Here's How To Move That Elephant
- Have you ever procrastinated long enough for an elephant-sized pile of to-do post-it notes to congregate on your desk?
- Have you ever taken on a project that is just to big to tackle?
- Are you backed into a corner overwhelmed at the giant-sized task before you?
Uh-oh. You have an elephant in your room.
The elephant is the big dark cloud called overwhelm. When you're overwhelmed you feel like there's an elephant-sized obstacle standing in the way of where you are and where you want to be. Overwhelmed is an unproductive reaction to having too much to do, seeing to many possibilities to choose from and thinking that you don't have enough time and resources to get everything done. One of the universal breakdowns that confront people today who is working to manage the competing priorities of business and home life. Overwhelm is not simply having lots of things to do. Overwhelm has definite emotional overtones which may include stress, confusion, fear, and anxiety. When you're overwhelmed you feel stuck and lack motivation to do much of anything. There's so much to do you don't even know where to begin.
Congratulations! You're a master at creating an elephant. Yes, knowing that you created the elephant in the first place is empowering. Since you created it you can un-create it. You created your overwhelmed state so you can, with certainty, move that elephant out of the room. Here's how:
1. Take a look at that elephant. It doesn't like being in the room any more than you like it being there.
2. See it as a huge pile of small tasks instead of one big massive energy sucking obstruction.
3. Put aside any tasks that are 'for the future' and require no immediate action. Now the pile is smaller.
4. Put aside any tasks that you've taken some action on and are awaiting a response from others. What's left in the pile are 'must do's'.
5. Spread the remaining must-do tasks out in a line, flattening the pile, and pick one small task to do. Do that task.
6. Pick the next task in the line and do that.
7. And the next.
Before you know it, you've easily moved that elephant out of your room, and your life!
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards.
Learn how to tame your Inner Critic, the voice of your self-doubt and fear, and empower your Inner Wizard, your intuition and inspiration, to effortlessly turn your dreams into reality. Everything you need to be, do and have is already within you. Your Inner Wizard is the best coach, guide, guru, teacher and shaman you could ever hope to have. Let your Inner Critic take a back seat, with a blankie and a sippy cup, as you deliberately place your Inner Wizard power in the driver seat as you drive towards your rich delicious life. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Stuck or Exhausted? Stop Dragging The Reluctant
Are you:
- stuck in a rut?
- often tired even though you get enough sleep?
- procrastinating even the easy things?
- finding excuses and reasons why you can't be, do or have what you want in life?
If you answered yes to any of those questions then you are spending your days dragging The Reluctant along. And that's exhausting! Sometimes the reluctant weighs so heavy upon you that you can't move forward at all, so you're stuck, right where you are, unable to achieve much of anything.
What is The Reluctant, you ask?
The reluctant is that Inner Critic within you. It is the voice of self-doubt and fear. It is the part of you that wants to hold you back and keep you safe. Safe is what you know, where you already are.
You created this Inner Critic to help you cope, help you navigate, in your immediate environment when you were a little child. It served as your protector and did a pretty good job of it too. Kept you out of trouble by telling you to follow certain rules of survival. Rules such as 'you're bad if you make mistakes' or 'children should be seen and not heard'. The problem is you're no longer in that environment. And, although your Inner Critic means well, he is woefully misguided.
For example, you may have spilled paint all over the floor and a parent said, in a moment of frustration, "You're a bad boy! Look what you did!" So, the Inner Critic stops you from trying new things because you don't want to make any mistakes and be a bad person. "Children should be seen and not heard" becomes "I have nothing of importance to say" that can then become "I'm stupid". You don't think you're smart enough to take on bigger challenges.
As you grew older, this Inner Critic became a constant background hum that you forgot was there. Yet you continue, unconsciously, to obey its set of rules for you. This toxic belief system about what will keep you safe and out of trouble is guiding the choices you make, what actions to take, or not to take. These Inner Critic rule create the reluctance that drags you down and keeps you from moving forward.
Some people will say that you have to work toward eliminating the limiting beliefs this reluctant Inner Critic holds over you. I disagree. The Inner Critic is a part of you like your left foot is a part of you. You do, however, want to take away its power over you. Notice when you are finding excuses and reasons for "I can't". Those excuses and reasons are the misguided rules. Look for evidence of the opposite. Remember when you learned a lot from a mistake so the mistake benefited you in some may. Remember when people listened earnestly to what you had to say. This evidence is all around you. You just haven't been paying attention because you've been too busy dragging The Reluctant.
Ask yourself:
- What if I could?
- How would my life change?
- What could I be, do or have that I cannot now?
- How would that feel?
See yourself as you would be if you let go of your reluctance, disarmed your Inner Critic, and took one step forward. That one step forward will help you build energy and the momentum to get out of your stuck place. Life flows effortlessly when you leave The Reluctant behind.
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult." ~ Seneca
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. Learn how to tame your Inner Critic, the voice of your self-doubt and fear, and empower your Inner Wizard, your intuition and inspiration, to effortlessly turn your dreams into reality. Everything you need to be, do and have is already within you. Your Inner Wizard is the best coach, guide, guru, teacher and shaman you could ever hope to have. Let your Inner Critic take a back seat, with a blankie and a sippy cup, as you deliberately place your Inner Wizard power in the driver seat as you drive towards your rich delicious life. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
- stuck in a rut?
- often tired even though you get enough sleep?
- procrastinating even the easy things?
- finding excuses and reasons why you can't be, do or have what you want in life?
If you answered yes to any of those questions then you are spending your days dragging The Reluctant along. And that's exhausting! Sometimes the reluctant weighs so heavy upon you that you can't move forward at all, so you're stuck, right where you are, unable to achieve much of anything.
What is The Reluctant, you ask?
The reluctant is that Inner Critic within you. It is the voice of self-doubt and fear. It is the part of you that wants to hold you back and keep you safe. Safe is what you know, where you already are.
You created this Inner Critic to help you cope, help you navigate, in your immediate environment when you were a little child. It served as your protector and did a pretty good job of it too. Kept you out of trouble by telling you to follow certain rules of survival. Rules such as 'you're bad if you make mistakes' or 'children should be seen and not heard'. The problem is you're no longer in that environment. And, although your Inner Critic means well, he is woefully misguided.
For example, you may have spilled paint all over the floor and a parent said, in a moment of frustration, "You're a bad boy! Look what you did!" So, the Inner Critic stops you from trying new things because you don't want to make any mistakes and be a bad person. "Children should be seen and not heard" becomes "I have nothing of importance to say" that can then become "I'm stupid". You don't think you're smart enough to take on bigger challenges.
As you grew older, this Inner Critic became a constant background hum that you forgot was there. Yet you continue, unconsciously, to obey its set of rules for you. This toxic belief system about what will keep you safe and out of trouble is guiding the choices you make, what actions to take, or not to take. These Inner Critic rule create the reluctance that drags you down and keeps you from moving forward.
Some people will say that you have to work toward eliminating the limiting beliefs this reluctant Inner Critic holds over you. I disagree. The Inner Critic is a part of you like your left foot is a part of you. You do, however, want to take away its power over you. Notice when you are finding excuses and reasons for "I can't". Those excuses and reasons are the misguided rules. Look for evidence of the opposite. Remember when you learned a lot from a mistake so the mistake benefited you in some may. Remember when people listened earnestly to what you had to say. This evidence is all around you. You just haven't been paying attention because you've been too busy dragging The Reluctant.
Ask yourself:
- What if I could?
- How would my life change?
- What could I be, do or have that I cannot now?
- How would that feel?
See yourself as you would be if you let go of your reluctance, disarmed your Inner Critic, and took one step forward. That one step forward will help you build energy and the momentum to get out of your stuck place. Life flows effortlessly when you leave The Reluctant behind.
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult." ~ Seneca
Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. Learn how to tame your Inner Critic, the voice of your self-doubt and fear, and empower your Inner Wizard, your intuition and inspiration, to effortlessly turn your dreams into reality. Everything you need to be, do and have is already within you. Your Inner Wizard is the best coach, guide, guru, teacher and shaman you could ever hope to have. Let your Inner Critic take a back seat, with a blankie and a sippy cup, as you deliberately place your Inner Wizard power in the driver seat as you drive towards your rich delicious life. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Self-Awarness Journey? Your Mirrors Have Blind Spots
The vehicle you use to travel on your road to self-awareness and abundance is self-examination. The process of self-examination is a journey of twists and turns, straightaways with frequent glimpses in your side and rearview mirrors. As you know from your driving experiences, mirrors have blind spots and some mirrors will even warn you that some objects may be closer than they appear.
The same is true with self-examination. There are blind spots and some experiences in your self-examination are closer to the experiences you are having today than they appear. Road blocks to self-examination and effective life transformation stay hidden in these blind spots. If you are driving your car and know that you have a blind spot you will ask your passenger, if you have one, to take a look from their vantage point to see if there's anything in the way of you being able to get to your destination safely. Or, your passenger will see the roadblock or oncoming car and warn you so you can take corrective measures. Your passenger can see what is reflected in your mirror from her vantage position when you can't. If you have no passenger, no other vantage point, you risk being blindsided with an unwanted, possibly damaging, experience.
The road to self-awareness is littered with roadblocks and debris that must be overcome or cleaned-up in order to get to your desired destination - the fulfillment of what you long for. Are you traveling alone on your personal journey? Reading articles and self-help books by yourself or listening to expert speakers will certainly serve as an excellent tool to tell you how to drive a car. Yet they don't know you're destination, your personal passions and dreams, what street you started your journey on or what roadblocks are on the roads you travel on in this very individual journey. No two journeys are the same. Articles, books and lectures cannot map your route, point out your individual blind spots. They cannot relied upon to guide you personally as a passenger on your unique road. These things cannot see what's in your mirror and let you know what is in your way of moving forward if you are unable to see what is blocking you.
The fact that you've pulled your car out of the garage and have begun the journey to self-awareness indicates that you've placed your Inner Critic (self-doubt and fear) in the back seat. That's a terrific start! However, are you allowing him to be a back-seat driver? Is he still yelling out directions and routes you 'should' take? If so, he might as well be driving. And the trouble with his driving abilities is that he does not know how to look forward to see what's down the road let alone be aware of any blind spots. Your Inner Critic thinks that to get anywhere you have to always have your sights on the rearview mirror. And you wonder why the same unwanted experiences keep happening over and over again. Your Inner Critic is trying to get to where you want to go by following what he sees in your rearview mirror.
There is another passenger you could travel with you who clearly sees the road ahead and is able to view the mirrors from every vantage point. It is your Inner Wizard. The journey to connecting with and tapping into the magical power of your Inner Wizard is also subject to blind spots. Having a trusted person there with you to guide you from time-to-time to point out what they see in your mirrors, give you a different perspective, will prevent you from getting lost or side-tracked along the way. Once you're able to completely hear, trust and rely upon your Inner Wizard he will always be your front-seat passenger on any journey you take. You will always have someone to watch out for your blind spots. Just tell your Inner Wizard what your destination is and he will immediately get to work creating a map that will get you from Point A to Point B effortlessly. He will readily reveal what is lurking in your blind spots as you travel safely by. Oh, and he's quite a good conversationalist so you'll enjoy his company along the way.
Happy journeys to you!
ˆTame your Inner Critic and Empower your Inner Wizard. Find out how at http://www.InnerWizard.com. "Turn Your Dreams Into Reality" Get free mini-booklet "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today!
The same is true with self-examination. There are blind spots and some experiences in your self-examination are closer to the experiences you are having today than they appear. Road blocks to self-examination and effective life transformation stay hidden in these blind spots. If you are driving your car and know that you have a blind spot you will ask your passenger, if you have one, to take a look from their vantage point to see if there's anything in the way of you being able to get to your destination safely. Or, your passenger will see the roadblock or oncoming car and warn you so you can take corrective measures. Your passenger can see what is reflected in your mirror from her vantage position when you can't. If you have no passenger, no other vantage point, you risk being blindsided with an unwanted, possibly damaging, experience.
The road to self-awareness is littered with roadblocks and debris that must be overcome or cleaned-up in order to get to your desired destination - the fulfillment of what you long for. Are you traveling alone on your personal journey? Reading articles and self-help books by yourself or listening to expert speakers will certainly serve as an excellent tool to tell you how to drive a car. Yet they don't know you're destination, your personal passions and dreams, what street you started your journey on or what roadblocks are on the roads you travel on in this very individual journey. No two journeys are the same. Articles, books and lectures cannot map your route, point out your individual blind spots. They cannot relied upon to guide you personally as a passenger on your unique road. These things cannot see what's in your mirror and let you know what is in your way of moving forward if you are unable to see what is blocking you.
The fact that you've pulled your car out of the garage and have begun the journey to self-awareness indicates that you've placed your Inner Critic (self-doubt and fear) in the back seat. That's a terrific start! However, are you allowing him to be a back-seat driver? Is he still yelling out directions and routes you 'should' take? If so, he might as well be driving. And the trouble with his driving abilities is that he does not know how to look forward to see what's down the road let alone be aware of any blind spots. Your Inner Critic thinks that to get anywhere you have to always have your sights on the rearview mirror. And you wonder why the same unwanted experiences keep happening over and over again. Your Inner Critic is trying to get to where you want to go by following what he sees in your rearview mirror.
There is another passenger you could travel with you who clearly sees the road ahead and is able to view the mirrors from every vantage point. It is your Inner Wizard. The journey to connecting with and tapping into the magical power of your Inner Wizard is also subject to blind spots. Having a trusted person there with you to guide you from time-to-time to point out what they see in your mirrors, give you a different perspective, will prevent you from getting lost or side-tracked along the way. Once you're able to completely hear, trust and rely upon your Inner Wizard he will always be your front-seat passenger on any journey you take. You will always have someone to watch out for your blind spots. Just tell your Inner Wizard what your destination is and he will immediately get to work creating a map that will get you from Point A to Point B effortlessly. He will readily reveal what is lurking in your blind spots as you travel safely by. Oh, and he's quite a good conversationalist so you'll enjoy his company along the way.
Happy journeys to you!
ˆTame your Inner Critic and Empower your Inner Wizard. Find out how at http://www.InnerWizard.com. "Turn Your Dreams Into Reality" Get free mini-booklet "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Authenticity: “Be The Change You Seek”
As Gandhi said, "Be the change you seek.". Many people live in a state of quiet desperation or restless agitation. Conditioned in their youth, they are exhausted living their 'should be" supposed-to-be lives. You can get good at living someone else's life yet it's exhausting! You were born to express your fullest potential. You were born to live your rich delicious life and you entered this world with an Inner Wizard. This Inner Wizard is an alchemist who knows how to turn your dreams into reality. It is the voice of your intuition, truth and inspiration. And as a small child you created an Inner Critic, who became the voice of your self-doubt and fear. You turned your power over to this Inner Critic to help you cope, help you navigate through your early life experience. The Inner Critic kept you safe by creating a rule book to live by. And you are living by this same rule book today.
The problem is, most of these rules were based on your misinterpretations of what you saw, heard or felt as a child. "Don't talk to strangers" became "People I don't know can hurt me" and now you fear public speaking. "Don't be selfish" became "It's not good to take care of your core needs". "Don't be stupid" became "I'm not smart enough". See a pattern? If you are not already living the life you dream of your misinterpreted rule book is embedded in your sub-conscious and directing your life today.
You long to be, do or have something you are not. What you long for is who you are! That's why you yearn so desperately for that life! You're deepest desire is to come forth into your experience as the fullest expression of who you are at your deepest core. And when you do, the energy with which you approach your life is unlimited!
The good news is your Inner Wizard is still there, within you. You can learn how to tame your misguided Inner Critic and return the power back over to your Inner Wizard. Your Inner Wizard is the best Coach, Guide, Guru or Teacher you could ever hope to have. Trust its wisdom and you will effortlessly manifest, easily achieve, everything you want to be, do and have in life!
"Whether you think you can or think you can't - you're right!" Henry Ford
Learn how to tame your Inner Critic, the voice of your self-doubt and fear, and empower your Inner Wizard, your intuition and inspiration, to effortlessly turn your dreams into reality. Everything you need to be, do and have is already within you. Your Inner Wizard is the best coach, guide, guru, teacher and shaman you could ever hope to have. Let your Inner Critic take a back seat, with a blankie and a sippy cup, as you deliberately place your Inner Wizard power in the driver seat as you drive towards your rich delicious life. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
The problem is, most of these rules were based on your misinterpretations of what you saw, heard or felt as a child. "Don't talk to strangers" became "People I don't know can hurt me" and now you fear public speaking. "Don't be selfish" became "It's not good to take care of your core needs". "Don't be stupid" became "I'm not smart enough". See a pattern? If you are not already living the life you dream of your misinterpreted rule book is embedded in your sub-conscious and directing your life today.
You long to be, do or have something you are not. What you long for is who you are! That's why you yearn so desperately for that life! You're deepest desire is to come forth into your experience as the fullest expression of who you are at your deepest core. And when you do, the energy with which you approach your life is unlimited!
The good news is your Inner Wizard is still there, within you. You can learn how to tame your misguided Inner Critic and return the power back over to your Inner Wizard. Your Inner Wizard is the best Coach, Guide, Guru or Teacher you could ever hope to have. Trust its wisdom and you will effortlessly manifest, easily achieve, everything you want to be, do and have in life!
"Whether you think you can or think you can't - you're right!" Henry Ford
Learn how to tame your Inner Critic, the voice of your self-doubt and fear, and empower your Inner Wizard, your intuition and inspiration, to effortlessly turn your dreams into reality. Everything you need to be, do and have is already within you. Your Inner Wizard is the best coach, guide, guru, teacher and shaman you could ever hope to have. Let your Inner Critic take a back seat, with a blankie and a sippy cup, as you deliberately place your Inner Wizard power in the driver seat as you drive towards your rich delicious life. I guarantee no wrong turns will be made on your life's journey when you are guided by your Inner Wizard. Get free mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" today at http://www.InnerWizard.com.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Weight Gain, Fear and the Pussycats
I was having fun watching my two cats play one morning when I had one of those AHA moments. I had one of those 'out of the blue' moments of clarity that enlightened, empowered and inspired me. The pussycats were playing a leap-frog kind of game when the play turned into aggression. Both cats 'puffed up' almost simultaneously. Raised hair on the back and a puffed-out tail are animalistic signs of defensiveness or hostility. In a flash, I thought of the many people I work with who are struggling with weight gain. No matter how many diets or exercise regimens they begin, quit, and begin again they can't seem to shed unwanted pounds. Have they 'puffed up' in fear or hostility? Do my overweight clients have a subconscious fear of losing weight, of the vulnerability of getting rid of their armor of fat?
When you are in a state of fear you cling to your current comfort zone. This fear prevents action. It holds you back. You want to lose weight so badly that it consumes much of your waking thoughts, yet you self-sabotage your weight loss progress for fear of the person you will find under the layers of fat. You are scared of who you are at your innermost core! Being able to stay hidden underneath the extra poundage is a payoff for staying fat. You don't do anything, such as keeping on unwanted weight, unless you get something out of it. Wearing a fat suit has become part of your identity, and taking off that mask would reveal what you are truly like underneath. What if you don't like what you see? Obese people fear being exposed if the fat were gone and they had nothing left to hide behind. They fear of losing weight and this fear is grounded in their low self-esteem.
Fear of weight loss is not uncommon, especially for those who’ve been overweight since childhood. When self-esteem and health goals collide, the body image goals often triumph. If you have low self-esteem, if you don't like, or you reject, who you are you will not be able to make positive changes. The ability to move beyond fear, vulnerability and low self-esteem does not come from a place of disgust or self-rejection. Any diet or exercise regime that you engage in that is inspired by self-disgust will be negative and punitive. It will not deliver the outcome, the weight loss, you hope to achieve. Your body will fight back at every turn with the egoic behavior of self-protection and survival. You will stay heavy or 'puff up' even more because you're beating yourself up more and more. The more you beat up on yourself the harder it is to reach for a healthy self-image and let go of your fear. And the vicious cycle becomes a tired repetitive pattern of weight gain, weight loss, more weight gain.
You are not your body. You are your intuition, personal passions, truth and the voice of your inspiration. Get in touch with that part of you. Discover who you are hiding underneath your body weight protection. Learn how to love yourself, unconditionally, and you will effortlessly shed the shields that hide you. You were brought to this earth to live out loud! Come out of hiding and share your magnificent self with the rest of the world. Everyone has a potential for greatness within. Shine the light on yours, let us see who you are. You are a gift just waiting to be unwrapped.
Discover you - the voice of your intuition, personal passions, truth and inspiration at http://www.InnerWizard.com. Get free mini-booklet "Discover Your Inner Wizard" and turn your dreams into reality!
When you are in a state of fear you cling to your current comfort zone. This fear prevents action. It holds you back. You want to lose weight so badly that it consumes much of your waking thoughts, yet you self-sabotage your weight loss progress for fear of the person you will find under the layers of fat. You are scared of who you are at your innermost core! Being able to stay hidden underneath the extra poundage is a payoff for staying fat. You don't do anything, such as keeping on unwanted weight, unless you get something out of it. Wearing a fat suit has become part of your identity, and taking off that mask would reveal what you are truly like underneath. What if you don't like what you see? Obese people fear being exposed if the fat were gone and they had nothing left to hide behind. They fear of losing weight and this fear is grounded in their low self-esteem.
Fear of weight loss is not uncommon, especially for those who’ve been overweight since childhood. When self-esteem and health goals collide, the body image goals often triumph. If you have low self-esteem, if you don't like, or you reject, who you are you will not be able to make positive changes. The ability to move beyond fear, vulnerability and low self-esteem does not come from a place of disgust or self-rejection. Any diet or exercise regime that you engage in that is inspired by self-disgust will be negative and punitive. It will not deliver the outcome, the weight loss, you hope to achieve. Your body will fight back at every turn with the egoic behavior of self-protection and survival. You will stay heavy or 'puff up' even more because you're beating yourself up more and more. The more you beat up on yourself the harder it is to reach for a healthy self-image and let go of your fear. And the vicious cycle becomes a tired repetitive pattern of weight gain, weight loss, more weight gain.
You are not your body. You are your intuition, personal passions, truth and the voice of your inspiration. Get in touch with that part of you. Discover who you are hiding underneath your body weight protection. Learn how to love yourself, unconditionally, and you will effortlessly shed the shields that hide you. You were brought to this earth to live out loud! Come out of hiding and share your magnificent self with the rest of the world. Everyone has a potential for greatness within. Shine the light on yours, let us see who you are. You are a gift just waiting to be unwrapped.
Discover you - the voice of your intuition, personal passions, truth and inspiration at http://www.InnerWizard.com. Get free mini-booklet "Discover Your Inner Wizard" and turn your dreams into reality!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Empowering Advice from a Dad: "Grow Up, Move Out"
I often ask successful people what was the best piece of advice they ever got from a parent. What words of wisdom carried them forward as they achieved their personal and professional goals? Responses such as "Don't take anything for granted", "You have to work hard and struggle for success" and "It takes money to make money" are among the most common. I posed this same question to Wendy, a woman I met at a luncheon yesterday. Her quick response was "Grow up. Move out." That was her Dad's mantra to her ever since she was a very young child.
Wendy had a good, loving relationship with her father. He is no longer with us yet his sage word of advice echo in Wendy's conscious every day. The wisdom has changed a bit over the years to 'Grow up. Move on." as Wendy is now a very successful financial planner and the Mother to two beautiful children. "Grow Up. Move out." encouraged Wendy to take full responsibility for her life. She allowed her inner child to grow up without fear and self-doubt while maintaining a playfully creative approach to life's challenges and opportunities. Wendy never empowered her Inner Critic, the part of her that has the ability to hold her back. She always relied on her Inner Wizard, that strong powerful voice within her that is pure intuition and the birthplace of inspiration to guide her. Whenever choices had to be made, especially difficult ones, Wendy remembered her Dad's advice, "Grow Up. Move Out".
And Wendy grew up and moved out fast! She was a respected high school graduate at age 15 and graduated college with honors at 18. She married a few years later and pursued a career in financial planning. Her husband was diagnosed with cancer when she was pregnant with their second child. Her husband did not survive long after the birth. "Grow Up. Move On." the winds of change echoed. So empowered, Wendy navigated the troubled waters of a young widowed mother building a new life for herself and her children. There were many many challenges to overcome. How would the children be cared for? How can she continue to build a career? How do you pick up the piece of a life shattered by such a tragedy? "Grow Up. Move On." Take full responsibility for what you want to experience moving forward.
People sometimes fall-back into old childish patterns of behavior when triggered with a devastating experience. There is a tendency to crawl back to a place where you feel safe, feel protected, and can hide. This desire to grab for any internal comfort that you can find often empowers the Inner Critic, the voice of self-doubt and fear. This is the voice that protected you, helped you cope, in your environment when you were little. You are no longer a child and cannot move on if you are frozen in fear or doubt your abilities or what is possible for you.
Wendy moved on and formed a company with her Father to help others build financial wealth and security. It wasn't long before her father was also diagnosed with cancer. He died within a few months. "Grow up. Move on". Wendy continued to grow from this experience and moved on the become an advocate to empower widowed women to protect and enrich their financial future. Her words of advice for them is "Grow up. Move on." Wendy now teaches others who face the similar tragedies and challenges how to put one foot in front of the other, how to "Grow UP. Move On."
Wendy tells her story with a broad smile on her face. To many, it is a very tragic tale. To Wendy she has lived a blessed life. She continues to find joy and inspiration in her daily life. Each morning presents another opportunity to continue to grow and move beyond her current comfort zones. "Grow Up. Move Out." is the lifelong gift from her Dad that propels Wendy forward as she turns her dreams into reality.
Get free eBook: "Discover Your Inner Wizard" at http://www.InnerWizard.com
Wendy had a good, loving relationship with her father. He is no longer with us yet his sage word of advice echo in Wendy's conscious every day. The wisdom has changed a bit over the years to 'Grow up. Move on." as Wendy is now a very successful financial planner and the Mother to two beautiful children. "Grow Up. Move out." encouraged Wendy to take full responsibility for her life. She allowed her inner child to grow up without fear and self-doubt while maintaining a playfully creative approach to life's challenges and opportunities. Wendy never empowered her Inner Critic, the part of her that has the ability to hold her back. She always relied on her Inner Wizard, that strong powerful voice within her that is pure intuition and the birthplace of inspiration to guide her. Whenever choices had to be made, especially difficult ones, Wendy remembered her Dad's advice, "Grow Up. Move Out".
And Wendy grew up and moved out fast! She was a respected high school graduate at age 15 and graduated college with honors at 18. She married a few years later and pursued a career in financial planning. Her husband was diagnosed with cancer when she was pregnant with their second child. Her husband did not survive long after the birth. "Grow Up. Move On." the winds of change echoed. So empowered, Wendy navigated the troubled waters of a young widowed mother building a new life for herself and her children. There were many many challenges to overcome. How would the children be cared for? How can she continue to build a career? How do you pick up the piece of a life shattered by such a tragedy? "Grow Up. Move On." Take full responsibility for what you want to experience moving forward.
People sometimes fall-back into old childish patterns of behavior when triggered with a devastating experience. There is a tendency to crawl back to a place where you feel safe, feel protected, and can hide. This desire to grab for any internal comfort that you can find often empowers the Inner Critic, the voice of self-doubt and fear. This is the voice that protected you, helped you cope, in your environment when you were little. You are no longer a child and cannot move on if you are frozen in fear or doubt your abilities or what is possible for you.
Wendy moved on and formed a company with her Father to help others build financial wealth and security. It wasn't long before her father was also diagnosed with cancer. He died within a few months. "Grow up. Move on". Wendy continued to grow from this experience and moved on the become an advocate to empower widowed women to protect and enrich their financial future. Her words of advice for them is "Grow up. Move on." Wendy now teaches others who face the similar tragedies and challenges how to put one foot in front of the other, how to "Grow UP. Move On."
Wendy tells her story with a broad smile on her face. To many, it is a very tragic tale. To Wendy she has lived a blessed life. She continues to find joy and inspiration in her daily life. Each morning presents another opportunity to continue to grow and move beyond her current comfort zones. "Grow Up. Move Out." is the lifelong gift from her Dad that propels Wendy forward as she turns her dreams into reality.
Get free eBook: "Discover Your Inner Wizard" at http://www.InnerWizard.com
Monday, January 19, 2009
Your Relationships are a Mirrored Reflection of You
Each relationship you have with another person reflects the relationship you have with yourself." - Alice Deville.
You have a lot of personal and professional relationships in your life. Some relationships are loving, satisfying, uplifting, supportive and enrich your life experience. You love spending time with these people. They motivate and inspire you. Other relationships are tense, adversarial, problematic, strained, and exhausting. You don't like, or avoid, spending time with the people who drain the life energy right out of you.. The funny thing is that all of your relationships, good and bad, are a reflection of you!
How can that be?
It's very simple, really. You love the good relationships that you have because these people reflect what you like about yourself. They're kind, giving, nice, loyal, fun to be with, and all of the other attributes that you enjoy when you're involved in a good relationship. You dislike the people you have difficulty with because they reflect the parts of you that you don't like. In these people you see something in them, however tiny or large, that you don't like about yourself. If they're needy, they remind you of the times when you have been needy. If they're rude, they're a reminder of the pain you caused others by your own rudeness. If they're annoying they bring out the annoyer in you. If they are liars, they remind you of the time you lied, how that felt and the damage that lie may have caused you or others.
Pay particular attention to the people who bother you, get under your skin, for no apparent reason. These people reflect something within you that you have been unwilling to see.
I'll give you an example.
Several years ago I had a business associate, Naomi, who irritated the heck out of me. Naomi was a nice enough person, never hurt me, but every time I saw her my skin crawled. If she said, "Hi. How are you?" I wanted to run in the other direction. Any time she called with a business related question or invitation I couldn't get off the phone fast enough. Naomi frequently invited me to networking events and I always found some excuse to decline. For some unexplained reason I just didn't want to be around this woman.
Yes, I Found Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) not to like her. To me, Naomi was a pushy, needy, wishy-washy person who just wanted to cling onto me to advance her career. What I didn't realize at the time was that I had been a pushy, needy, wishy-washy person who clung onto other people to advance my early career. I'd grown up a lot since then and was no longer that person, yet I definitely once was that girl. And now Naomi was reflecting that behavior back to me. And it bothered me to even think of her. I did not want to be reminded that I, too, was once at that very same place in my personal journey of self-awareness and development.
You love what is reflected back to you that you love within you. You dislike what is reflected back to you that you dislike within you. You are neutral to what is presented to you that is not a reflection of you.
Examine your relationships with the people in your life. Identify the attributes you love and like in the people you have a good relationship with. You hold these attributes too. Acknowledge and own them. Love that part of you. Identify the attributes you don't like in the people you have a bad, or troubled, relationship with. You hold these attributes too. Acknowledge and own them. Have compassion and forgiveness for that part of yourself and of the other person for each of you are only doing the best you can given the light you have to see. Granted, some people have fewer batteries in their flashlight than others! Yet they are still doing the best they can. No one deliberately decides to exhibit unwanted behavior. Learn the lesson to add a few more volts to that flashlight of yours. Every relationship, good and bad, brings gifts in the lessons and the light they offer to you. Cherish the gift. It will empower you as you continue to move forward in the direction of living your rich delicious life.
"Life is a succession of lessons, which must be lived to be understood." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Get free Mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" at http://www.InnerWizard.com
You have a lot of personal and professional relationships in your life. Some relationships are loving, satisfying, uplifting, supportive and enrich your life experience. You love spending time with these people. They motivate and inspire you. Other relationships are tense, adversarial, problematic, strained, and exhausting. You don't like, or avoid, spending time with the people who drain the life energy right out of you.. The funny thing is that all of your relationships, good and bad, are a reflection of you!
How can that be?
It's very simple, really. You love the good relationships that you have because these people reflect what you like about yourself. They're kind, giving, nice, loyal, fun to be with, and all of the other attributes that you enjoy when you're involved in a good relationship. You dislike the people you have difficulty with because they reflect the parts of you that you don't like. In these people you see something in them, however tiny or large, that you don't like about yourself. If they're needy, they remind you of the times when you have been needy. If they're rude, they're a reminder of the pain you caused others by your own rudeness. If they're annoying they bring out the annoyer in you. If they are liars, they remind you of the time you lied, how that felt and the damage that lie may have caused you or others.
Pay particular attention to the people who bother you, get under your skin, for no apparent reason. These people reflect something within you that you have been unwilling to see.
I'll give you an example.
Several years ago I had a business associate, Naomi, who irritated the heck out of me. Naomi was a nice enough person, never hurt me, but every time I saw her my skin crawled. If she said, "Hi. How are you?" I wanted to run in the other direction. Any time she called with a business related question or invitation I couldn't get off the phone fast enough. Naomi frequently invited me to networking events and I always found some excuse to decline. For some unexplained reason I just didn't want to be around this woman.
Yes, I Found Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) not to like her. To me, Naomi was a pushy, needy, wishy-washy person who just wanted to cling onto me to advance her career. What I didn't realize at the time was that I had been a pushy, needy, wishy-washy person who clung onto other people to advance my early career. I'd grown up a lot since then and was no longer that person, yet I definitely once was that girl. And now Naomi was reflecting that behavior back to me. And it bothered me to even think of her. I did not want to be reminded that I, too, was once at that very same place in my personal journey of self-awareness and development.
You love what is reflected back to you that you love within you. You dislike what is reflected back to you that you dislike within you. You are neutral to what is presented to you that is not a reflection of you.
Examine your relationships with the people in your life. Identify the attributes you love and like in the people you have a good relationship with. You hold these attributes too. Acknowledge and own them. Love that part of you. Identify the attributes you don't like in the people you have a bad, or troubled, relationship with. You hold these attributes too. Acknowledge and own them. Have compassion and forgiveness for that part of yourself and of the other person for each of you are only doing the best you can given the light you have to see. Granted, some people have fewer batteries in their flashlight than others! Yet they are still doing the best they can. No one deliberately decides to exhibit unwanted behavior. Learn the lesson to add a few more volts to that flashlight of yours. Every relationship, good and bad, brings gifts in the lessons and the light they offer to you. Cherish the gift. It will empower you as you continue to move forward in the direction of living your rich delicious life.
"Life is a succession of lessons, which must be lived to be understood." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Get free Mini-book "Discover Your Inner Wizard" at http://www.InnerWizard.com
Saturday, January 17, 2009
The Titan Mindset
The difference between a winner and an 'also ran' isn't extra ordinary skills or talents. Let's face it, people who are at the top of their field excel at their game be it sports, business or personal achievement. In the sports world there are two champions, titans of athletes, who share one unprecedented skill, a titan mindset for excellence. I'm talking about Muhammad Ali and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger does not seem to be comparable to Muhammad Ali on the surface. But look closer. Both Ali and Schwarzenegger came from nowhere to win titles. Both men were great physical specimens, but later became known for their wit, humanity and crowd-pleasing nature...not merely for their brawn. And, of course, both men became known as two of the greatest icons of their time. They both had strong competition and were able to overcome stereotypes and false perceptions where others had failed. There was one simple explanation for their tremendous success in their sport and in life: it never occurred to them that they were not champions. They knew, at their deepest core, and at an early age that they were champions. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the world knew it too.
Ali and Schwarzenegger approached their life aspirations with focused determination and were always in complete alignment with that dream. Nothing would get in the way of becoming a world champion. With singular conscious intention matched with an internal confidence, awareness, and conviction they held the vibration of a champion from the moment the dream was birthed. They knew, with certainty, that they were already champions. This mindset carried them forward, delivered their inspiration, as they turned the dream into reality.
Why am I telling you this?
In a seemingly magical turn of events that brought us to this very day, the Universe conspired for me to tell you the story. To make a 30 year story short, my husband Al Satterwhite, just published a photographic book called "Titans". The photographs paired Ali and Schwarzenegger together as world champions who shared a singular mindset for greatness. Al first met Muhammad Ali in 1970 at the 5th Street Gym in Miami Beach when he was assigned by Time, and later Life, to photograph him preparing for his fight with Joe Frazier. Ali was young, brash, and eloquent. He came to know Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1976 when he spent time with him as he trained at Gold’s Gym, shooting trap and skeet up in the Santa Monica mountains, and just hanging out in Venice Beach. During this time, he came to understand what made them both champions. This book vividly demonstrates the qualities of these two men in a series of candid black and white photographs, accompanied by short essays written by well-known sports commentators and writers, Roy Firestone and Robert Baum.
Roy, who also wrote the Forward, is well-known sports broadcaster and entertainer. He has won seven Emmy® Awards and seven Cable ACE Awards, he has interviewed more than 5,000 people, including nearly every major sports figure. He knows what makes these athletes 'tick'. Roy is also a high-school pal of mine. I sat next to him in class for four years as he doodled sporting images all over is notebooks. We were also often paired together in high school plays and Roy is a talented entertainer to this day. He performs his multi-media review before audiences in Las Vegas, at major sporting events, meetings, formal events and conventions throughout the world.
So, when Al mentioned that he was looking for someone who knew Ali and Schwarzenegger to write the Forward to "Titans" I knew just who to call on! The book was published and I have the pleasure of sharing the story with you who are also on your way to turning your dreams into reality. These two titans are an inspiration to anyone who has a dream and intends to overcome whatever challenges present themselves along the way. They steadfastly kept their personal power in the intuitive and inspirational hands of their Inner Wizard and never let their Inner Critic, the voice of self-doubt and fear, influence the thoughts, choices and actions they took to become, and remain, world champions.
If you're interested in learning more of the story you can click on:
http://www.amazon.com/Titans-Muhammad-Ali-Arnold-Schwarzenegger/dp/1854432311/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1232200254&sr=8-1
or
http://www.daltonwatson.com/TitansDetailPage.htm
"Be the change you seek." -Gandhi
Valery Satterwhite, Founder
International Association for Inner Wizards
http://www.InnerWizard.com
Arnold Schwarzenegger does not seem to be comparable to Muhammad Ali on the surface. But look closer. Both Ali and Schwarzenegger came from nowhere to win titles. Both men were great physical specimens, but later became known for their wit, humanity and crowd-pleasing nature...not merely for their brawn. And, of course, both men became known as two of the greatest icons of their time. They both had strong competition and were able to overcome stereotypes and false perceptions where others had failed. There was one simple explanation for their tremendous success in their sport and in life: it never occurred to them that they were not champions. They knew, at their deepest core, and at an early age that they were champions. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the world knew it too.
Ali and Schwarzenegger approached their life aspirations with focused determination and were always in complete alignment with that dream. Nothing would get in the way of becoming a world champion. With singular conscious intention matched with an internal confidence, awareness, and conviction they held the vibration of a champion from the moment the dream was birthed. They knew, with certainty, that they were already champions. This mindset carried them forward, delivered their inspiration, as they turned the dream into reality.
Why am I telling you this?
In a seemingly magical turn of events that brought us to this very day, the Universe conspired for me to tell you the story. To make a 30 year story short, my husband Al Satterwhite, just published a photographic book called "Titans". The photographs paired Ali and Schwarzenegger together as world champions who shared a singular mindset for greatness. Al first met Muhammad Ali in 1970 at the 5th Street Gym in Miami Beach when he was assigned by Time, and later Life, to photograph him preparing for his fight with Joe Frazier. Ali was young, brash, and eloquent. He came to know Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1976 when he spent time with him as he trained at Gold’s Gym, shooting trap and skeet up in the Santa Monica mountains, and just hanging out in Venice Beach. During this time, he came to understand what made them both champions. This book vividly demonstrates the qualities of these two men in a series of candid black and white photographs, accompanied by short essays written by well-known sports commentators and writers, Roy Firestone and Robert Baum.
Roy, who also wrote the Forward, is well-known sports broadcaster and entertainer. He has won seven Emmy® Awards and seven Cable ACE Awards, he has interviewed more than 5,000 people, including nearly every major sports figure. He knows what makes these athletes 'tick'. Roy is also a high-school pal of mine. I sat next to him in class for four years as he doodled sporting images all over is notebooks. We were also often paired together in high school plays and Roy is a talented entertainer to this day. He performs his multi-media review before audiences in Las Vegas, at major sporting events, meetings, formal events and conventions throughout the world.
So, when Al mentioned that he was looking for someone who knew Ali and Schwarzenegger to write the Forward to "Titans" I knew just who to call on! The book was published and I have the pleasure of sharing the story with you who are also on your way to turning your dreams into reality. These two titans are an inspiration to anyone who has a dream and intends to overcome whatever challenges present themselves along the way. They steadfastly kept their personal power in the intuitive and inspirational hands of their Inner Wizard and never let their Inner Critic, the voice of self-doubt and fear, influence the thoughts, choices and actions they took to become, and remain, world champions.
If you're interested in learning more of the story you can click on:
http://www.amazon.com/Titans-Muhammad-Ali-Arnold-Schwarzenegger/dp/1854432311/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1232200254&sr=8-1
or
http://www.daltonwatson.com/TitansDetailPage.htm
"Be the change you seek." -Gandhi
Valery Satterwhite, Founder
International Association for Inner Wizards
http://www.InnerWizard.com
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