"Each relationship you have with another person reflects the relationship you have with yourself." - Alice Deville.
You have a lot of personal and professional relationships in your life. Some relationships are loving, satisfying, uplifting, supportive and enrich your life experience. You love spending time with these people. They motivate and inspire you. Other relationships are tense, adversarial, problematic, strained, and exhausting. You don't like, or avoid, spending time with the people who drain the life energy right out of you. The funny thing is that all of your relationships, good and bad, are a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.
How can that be?
It's very simple, really. You love the good relationships that you have because these people reflect what you like about yourself. They're kind, giving, nice, loyal, fun to be with, and all of the other attributes that you enjoy when you're involved in a good relationship. You dislike the people you have difficulty with because they reflect the parts of you that you don't like. In these people you see something in them, however tiny or large, that you don't like about yourself. If they're needy, they remind you of the times when you have been needy. If they're rude, they're a reminder of the pain you caused others by your own rudeness. If they're annoying they bring out the annoyer in you. If they are liars, they remind you of the time you lied, how that felt and the damage that lie may have caused you or others.
Pay particular attention to the people who bother you, get under your skin, for no apparent reason. These people reflect something within you that you have been unwilling to see.
I'll give you an example.
Several years ago I had a business associate, Naomi, who irritated the heck out of me. Naomi was a nice enough person, never hurt me, but every time I saw her my skin crawled. If she said, "Hi. How are you?" I wanted to run in the other direction. Any time she called with a business related question or invitation I couldn't get off the phone fast enough. Naomi frequently invited me to networking events and I always found some excuse to decline. For some unexplained reason I just didn't want to be around this woman.
Yes, I Found Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) not to like her. To me, Naomi was a pushy, needy, wishy-washy person who just wanted to cling onto me to advance her career. What I didn't realize at the time was that I had been a pushy, needy, wishy-washy person who clung onto other people to advance my early career. I'd grown up a lot since then and was no longer that person, yet I definitely once was that girl. And now Naomi was reflecting that behavior back to me. And it bothered me to even think of her. I did not want to be reminded that I, too, was once at that very same place in my personal journey of self-awareness and development.
You love what is reflected back to you that you love within you. You dislike what is reflected back to you that you dislike within you. You are neutral to what is presented to you that is not a reflection of you.
Examine your relationships with the people in your life. Identify the attributes you love and like in the people you have a good relationship with. You hold these attributes too. Acknowledge and own them. Love that part of you. Identify the attributes you don't like in the people you have a bad, or troubled, relationship with. You hold these attributes too. Acknowledge and own them. Have compassion and forgiveness for that part of yourself and of the other person for each of you are only doing the best you can given the light you have to see. Granted, some people have fewer batteries in their flashlight than others! Yet they are still doing the best they can. No one deliberately decides to exhibit unwanted behavior. Learn the lesson to add a few more volts to that flashlight of yours. Every relationship, good and bad, brings gifts in the lessons and the light they offer to you. Cherish the gift. It will empower you as you continue to move forward in the direction of living your rich delicious life.
"Life is a succession of lessons, which must be lived to be understood." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Valery is a Moxie Master who will teach you how to have the confident courage to go after what you REALLY want with unrelenting drive and passion. That's Moxie! Claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with her unique fast Moxie Therapy process. Get going. Get it done. Moxie Up! today! Get free tips at http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Your Relationships Reflect Your Relationship with You
"Each relationship you have with another person reflects the relationship you have with yourself." - Alice Deville.
You have a lot of personal and professional relationships in your life. Some relationships are loving, satisfying, uplifting, supportive and enrich your life experience. You love spending time with these people. They motivate and inspire you. Other relationships are tense, adversarial, problematic, strained, and exhausting. You don't like, or avoid, spending time with the people who drain the life energy right out of you. The funny thing is that all of your relationships, good and bad, are a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.
How can that be?
It's very simple, really. You love the good relationships that you have because these people reflect what you like about yourself. They're kind, giving, nice, loyal, fun to be with, and all of the other attributes that you enjoy when you're involved in a good relationship. You dislike the people you have difficulty with because they reflect the parts of you that you don't like. In these people you see something in them, however tiny or large, that you don't like about yourself. If they're needy, they remind you of the times when you have been needy. If they're rude, they're a reminder of the pain you caused others by your own rudeness. If they're annoying they bring out the annoyer in you. If they are liars, they remind you of the time you lied, how that felt and the damage that lie may have caused you or others.
Pay particular attention to the people who bother you, get under your skin, for no apparent reason. These people reflect something within you that you have been unwilling to see.
I'll give you an example.
Several years ago I had a business associate, Naomi, who irritated the heck out of me. Naomi was a nice enough person, never hurt me, but every time I saw her my skin crawled. If she said, "Hi. How are you?" I wanted to run in the other direction. Any time she called with a business related question or invitation I couldn't get off the phone fast enough. Naomi frequently invited me to networking events and I always found some excuse to decline. For some unexplained reason I just didn't want to be around this woman.
Yes, I Found Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) not to like her. To me, Naomi was a pushy, needy, wishy-washy person who just wanted to cling onto me to advance her career. What I didn't realize at the time was that I had been a pushy, needy, wishy-washy person who clung onto other people to advance my early career. I'd grown up a lot since then and was no longer that person, yet I definitely once was that girl. And now Naomi was reflecting that behavior back to me. And it bothered me to even think of her. I did not want to be reminded that I, too, was once at that very same place in my personal journey of self-awareness and development.
You love what is reflected back to you that you love within you. You dislike what is reflected back to you that you dislike within you. You are neutral to what is presented to you that is not a reflection of you.
Examine your relationships with the people in your life. Identify the attributes you love and like in the people you have a good relationship with. You hold these attributes too. Acknowledge and own them. Love that part of you. Identify the attributes you don't like in the people you have a bad, or troubled, relationship with. You hold these attributes too. Acknowledge and own them. Have compassion and forgiveness for that part of yourself and of the other person for each of you are only doing the best you can given the light you have to see. Granted, some people have fewer batteries in their flashlight than others! Yet they are still doing the best they can. No one deliberately decides to exhibit unwanted behavior. Learn the lesson to add a few more volts to that flashlight of yours. Every relationship, good and bad, brings gifts in the lessons and the light they offer to you. Cherish the gift. It will empower you as you continue to move forward in the direction of living your rich delicious life.
"Life is a succession of lessons, which must be lived to be understood." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Valery is a Moxie Master who will teach you how to have the confident courage to go after what you REALLY want with unrelenting drive and passion. That's Moxie! Claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with her unique fast Moxie Therapy process. Get going. Get it done. Moxie Up! today! Get free tips at http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
You have a lot of personal and professional relationships in your life. Some relationships are loving, satisfying, uplifting, supportive and enrich your life experience. You love spending time with these people. They motivate and inspire you. Other relationships are tense, adversarial, problematic, strained, and exhausting. You don't like, or avoid, spending time with the people who drain the life energy right out of you. The funny thing is that all of your relationships, good and bad, are a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.
How can that be?
It's very simple, really. You love the good relationships that you have because these people reflect what you like about yourself. They're kind, giving, nice, loyal, fun to be with, and all of the other attributes that you enjoy when you're involved in a good relationship. You dislike the people you have difficulty with because they reflect the parts of you that you don't like. In these people you see something in them, however tiny or large, that you don't like about yourself. If they're needy, they remind you of the times when you have been needy. If they're rude, they're a reminder of the pain you caused others by your own rudeness. If they're annoying they bring out the annoyer in you. If they are liars, they remind you of the time you lied, how that felt and the damage that lie may have caused you or others.
Pay particular attention to the people who bother you, get under your skin, for no apparent reason. These people reflect something within you that you have been unwilling to see.
I'll give you an example.
Several years ago I had a business associate, Naomi, who irritated the heck out of me. Naomi was a nice enough person, never hurt me, but every time I saw her my skin crawled. If she said, "Hi. How are you?" I wanted to run in the other direction. Any time she called with a business related question or invitation I couldn't get off the phone fast enough. Naomi frequently invited me to networking events and I always found some excuse to decline. For some unexplained reason I just didn't want to be around this woman.
Yes, I Found Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) not to like her. To me, Naomi was a pushy, needy, wishy-washy person who just wanted to cling onto me to advance her career. What I didn't realize at the time was that I had been a pushy, needy, wishy-washy person who clung onto other people to advance my early career. I'd grown up a lot since then and was no longer that person, yet I definitely once was that girl. And now Naomi was reflecting that behavior back to me. And it bothered me to even think of her. I did not want to be reminded that I, too, was once at that very same place in my personal journey of self-awareness and development.
You love what is reflected back to you that you love within you. You dislike what is reflected back to you that you dislike within you. You are neutral to what is presented to you that is not a reflection of you.
Examine your relationships with the people in your life. Identify the attributes you love and like in the people you have a good relationship with. You hold these attributes too. Acknowledge and own them. Love that part of you. Identify the attributes you don't like in the people you have a bad, or troubled, relationship with. You hold these attributes too. Acknowledge and own them. Have compassion and forgiveness for that part of yourself and of the other person for each of you are only doing the best you can given the light you have to see. Granted, some people have fewer batteries in their flashlight than others! Yet they are still doing the best they can. No one deliberately decides to exhibit unwanted behavior. Learn the lesson to add a few more volts to that flashlight of yours. Every relationship, good and bad, brings gifts in the lessons and the light they offer to you. Cherish the gift. It will empower you as you continue to move forward in the direction of living your rich delicious life.
"Life is a succession of lessons, which must be lived to be understood." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Valery is a Moxie Master who will teach you how to have the confident courage to go after what you REALLY want with unrelenting drive and passion. That's Moxie! Claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with her unique fast Moxie Therapy process. Get going. Get it done. Moxie Up! today! Get free tips at http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
Friday, April 23, 2010
Grow Up. Move Out. Move On. Moxie Up
I often ask successful people what was the best piece of advice they ever got from a parent. What words of wisdom carried them forward as they achieved their personal and professional goals? Responses such as "Don't take anything for granted", "You have to work hard and struggle for success" and "It takes money to make money" are among the most common. I posed this same question to Wendy, a woman I met at a luncheon not long ago. Her quick response was "Grow up. Move out." That was her Dad's mantra to her ever since she was a very young child.
Wendy had a good, loving relationship with her father. He is no longer with us yet his sage word of advice echo in Wendy's conscious every day. The wisdom has changed a bit over the years. "Move Out" now means: Out of my comfort zone! Wendy is now a very successful financial planner and the Mother to two beautiful children. "Grow Up. Move out" encouraged Wendy to take full responsibility for her life.
She allowed her inner child to grow up without fear and self-doubt while maintaining a playfully creative approach to life's challenges and opportunities. Wendy never empowered her Inner Critic, the part of her that has the ability to hold her back. She always relied on her True Self, that strong powerful voice within her that is pure intuition and the birthplace of inspiration to guide her. Whenever choices had to be made, especially difficult ones, Wendy remembered her Dad's advice, "Grow Up. Move Out".
And Wendy grew up and moved out fast! She was a respected high school graduate at age 15 and graduated college with honors at 18. She married a few years later and pursued a career in financial planning. Her husband was diagnosed with cancer when she was pregnant with their second child. Her husband did not survive long after the birth. "Grow Up. Move On." the winds of change echoed. So empowered, Wendy navigated the troubled waters of a young widowed mother building a new life for herself and her children. There were many many challenges to overcome. How would the children be cared for? How can she continue to build a career? How do you pick up the piece of a life shattered by such a tragedy? "Grow Up. Move On." Take full responsibility for what you want to experience moving forward.
People sometimes fall-back into old childish patterns of behavior when triggered with a devastating experience. There is a tendency to crawl back to a place where you feel safe, feel protected, and can hide. This desire to grab for any internal comfort that you can find often empowers the Inner Critic, the voice of self-doubt and fear. This is the voice that protected you, helped you cope, in your environment when you were little. You are no longer a child and cannot move on if you are frozen in fear or doubt your abilities or what is possible for you.
Wendy moved on and formed a company with her Father to help others build financial wealth and security. It wasn't long before her father was also diagnosed with cancer. He died within a few months. "Grow up. Move Out". Wendy continued to grow from this experience and moved on the become an advocate to empower widowed women to protect and enrich their financial future. Her words of advice for them is "Grow up. Move Out" Wendy now teaches others who face the similar tragedies and challenges how to put one foot in front of the other, how to "Grow UP. Move Out." Get it going. Get it done.
Wendy tells her story with a broad smile on her face. To many, it is a very tragic tale. To Wendy she has lived a blessed life. She continues to find joy and inspiration in her daily life. Each morning presents another opportunity to continue to grow and move beyond her current comfort zones. "Grow Up. Move Out." is the lifelong gift from her Dad that propels Wendy forward as she turns her dreams into reality.
Another way of saying "Grow Up. Move Out" is simply, Moxie Up!
I invite you to Moxie Up! as Wendy did. Have the confident courage to achieve authentic greatness with unrelenting drive and passion.
Valery is a Moxie Master who will teach you how to have the confident courage to go after what you REALLY want with unrelenting drive and passion. That's Moxie! Claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with her unique fast Moxie Therapy process. Get going. Get it done. Moxie Up! today! Get free tips at http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
Wendy had a good, loving relationship with her father. He is no longer with us yet his sage word of advice echo in Wendy's conscious every day. The wisdom has changed a bit over the years. "Move Out" now means: Out of my comfort zone! Wendy is now a very successful financial planner and the Mother to two beautiful children. "Grow Up. Move out" encouraged Wendy to take full responsibility for her life.
She allowed her inner child to grow up without fear and self-doubt while maintaining a playfully creative approach to life's challenges and opportunities. Wendy never empowered her Inner Critic, the part of her that has the ability to hold her back. She always relied on her True Self, that strong powerful voice within her that is pure intuition and the birthplace of inspiration to guide her. Whenever choices had to be made, especially difficult ones, Wendy remembered her Dad's advice, "Grow Up. Move Out".
And Wendy grew up and moved out fast! She was a respected high school graduate at age 15 and graduated college with honors at 18. She married a few years later and pursued a career in financial planning. Her husband was diagnosed with cancer when she was pregnant with their second child. Her husband did not survive long after the birth. "Grow Up. Move On." the winds of change echoed. So empowered, Wendy navigated the troubled waters of a young widowed mother building a new life for herself and her children. There were many many challenges to overcome. How would the children be cared for? How can she continue to build a career? How do you pick up the piece of a life shattered by such a tragedy? "Grow Up. Move On." Take full responsibility for what you want to experience moving forward.
People sometimes fall-back into old childish patterns of behavior when triggered with a devastating experience. There is a tendency to crawl back to a place where you feel safe, feel protected, and can hide. This desire to grab for any internal comfort that you can find often empowers the Inner Critic, the voice of self-doubt and fear. This is the voice that protected you, helped you cope, in your environment when you were little. You are no longer a child and cannot move on if you are frozen in fear or doubt your abilities or what is possible for you.
Wendy moved on and formed a company with her Father to help others build financial wealth and security. It wasn't long before her father was also diagnosed with cancer. He died within a few months. "Grow up. Move Out". Wendy continued to grow from this experience and moved on the become an advocate to empower widowed women to protect and enrich their financial future. Her words of advice for them is "Grow up. Move Out" Wendy now teaches others who face the similar tragedies and challenges how to put one foot in front of the other, how to "Grow UP. Move Out." Get it going. Get it done.
Wendy tells her story with a broad smile on her face. To many, it is a very tragic tale. To Wendy she has lived a blessed life. She continues to find joy and inspiration in her daily life. Each morning presents another opportunity to continue to grow and move beyond her current comfort zones. "Grow Up. Move Out." is the lifelong gift from her Dad that propels Wendy forward as she turns her dreams into reality.
Another way of saying "Grow Up. Move Out" is simply, Moxie Up!
I invite you to Moxie Up! as Wendy did. Have the confident courage to achieve authentic greatness with unrelenting drive and passion.
Valery is a Moxie Master who will teach you how to have the confident courage to go after what you REALLY want with unrelenting drive and passion. That's Moxie! Claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with her unique fast Moxie Therapy process. Get going. Get it done. Moxie Up! today! Get free tips at http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
Thursday, April 15, 2010
The Tyranny of Expectations
"I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine." - Bruce Lee, Actor
Without noticing it, you too may be suffering from the myriad ways in which expectations can undermine your life. I call it the tyranny of expectations. They plague your daily life, causing you to be irritable, disappointed, and disillusioned. Many times they lead you to say unkind words, act unskillfully, or make poor decisions. Expectations are so insidious that you can persist in maintaining them even after you have clear evidence that they are unfounded.
What is most amazing is that despite the suffering caused by your expectations, you hardly notice them most of the time. Sure, there may be a few big ones you are somewhat aware of, but even so, you only sort of notice them; you do not act to free yourself from their tyranny. Plus, there are countless smaller ones you never notice at all. It is only when you feel acute disappointment that you have any awareness of having been possessed by expectations. But for each of these moments of acute disappointment, you've experienced many hours of dissatisfaction, impatience, and tension that you never realized arose from your expectations.
The good news is that you do not have to continue to suffer from the tyranny of expectations. It is one of the most troublesome areas of life, yet it is also changeable. Muster up the Moxie to let go of your expectations of others AND yourself! Even a little effort makes a huge difference. But first you must penetrate the nature of expectations, observe how they manifest themselves in your life, and be able to access another way of approaching the future.
You may be surprised when you discover how much choice you have in letting go of expectations. As you have seen, there is nothing to be gained from a mind filled with expectation. But there is much to be gained by living out of your values with real effort and discipline. When you do this, you are showing up for what you value and discovering a sense of joy and ease that is independent of the conditions in your life.
"Confounding people's expectations was a way to maintain integrity." - Lindsey Buckingham, Fleetwood Mac
Valery is the modern day Auntie Mame. As a Moxie Master she will teach you how to have the confident courage to go after what you REALLY want with unrelenting drive and passion. That's Moxie! Claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with her unique fast Moxie Therapy process. Get going. Get it done. Moxie Up! today! Get free tips at http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
Without noticing it, you too may be suffering from the myriad ways in which expectations can undermine your life. I call it the tyranny of expectations. They plague your daily life, causing you to be irritable, disappointed, and disillusioned. Many times they lead you to say unkind words, act unskillfully, or make poor decisions. Expectations are so insidious that you can persist in maintaining them even after you have clear evidence that they are unfounded.
What is most amazing is that despite the suffering caused by your expectations, you hardly notice them most of the time. Sure, there may be a few big ones you are somewhat aware of, but even so, you only sort of notice them; you do not act to free yourself from their tyranny. Plus, there are countless smaller ones you never notice at all. It is only when you feel acute disappointment that you have any awareness of having been possessed by expectations. But for each of these moments of acute disappointment, you've experienced many hours of dissatisfaction, impatience, and tension that you never realized arose from your expectations.
The good news is that you do not have to continue to suffer from the tyranny of expectations. It is one of the most troublesome areas of life, yet it is also changeable. Muster up the Moxie to let go of your expectations of others AND yourself! Even a little effort makes a huge difference. But first you must penetrate the nature of expectations, observe how they manifest themselves in your life, and be able to access another way of approaching the future.
You may be surprised when you discover how much choice you have in letting go of expectations. As you have seen, there is nothing to be gained from a mind filled with expectation. But there is much to be gained by living out of your values with real effort and discipline. When you do this, you are showing up for what you value and discovering a sense of joy and ease that is independent of the conditions in your life.
"Confounding people's expectations was a way to maintain integrity." - Lindsey Buckingham, Fleetwood Mac
Valery is the modern day Auntie Mame. As a Moxie Master she will teach you how to have the confident courage to go after what you REALLY want with unrelenting drive and passion. That's Moxie! Claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with her unique fast Moxie Therapy process. Get going. Get it done. Moxie Up! today! Get free tips at http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
3 Lessons to Achieve Authentic Greatness from Steve Jobs
When I'm in the mood for a little inspiration I seek out extraordinary people speak their truth from the heart. These are the thought leaders who fully express their Moxie - the confident courage to achieve authentic greatness with unrelenting drive and passion. In this abundant content driven Web 2.0 age it only takes a few clicks of a mouse to bear witness to their words of wisdom.
After giving up the seemingly impossible battle to overcome something called a kernel panic (who thinks of these names?) on my computer I reached out to YouTube to replenish my soul. I discovered the video of the 2005 Stanford commencement speech given by Steve Jobs. So surprised and moved by what he had to say, I watched the video three times. Here are the three key empowering lessons, reminders of what I sometimes forget when stressed:
Lesson #1: Your intuition knows which path to take. Trust it!
"You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever--because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference." - Steve Jobs
Having experienced the ups and downs of the DOT COM industry in my former 'inauthentic' career I certainly knew of Steve Jobs as the founder and CEO of Apple Computers and the former chief executive of Pixar Animation Studios before its acquisition by The Walt Disney company in 2006. I knew very little of what influenced his rise to the top. What I learned was another profound example of what it takes to achieve unprecedented success on your own terms.
Steve Jobs was adopted as a baby boy with the condition that his adoptive parents send him to college after he graduated high school. Dutifully obeying this clause Steve went to college. He dropped out after six months, trusting that all would work out OK. He quit so he could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest him and start taking the ones that did. Much of what he stumbled into by following his curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on.
Steve took up calligraphy. I had a hard time imagining the Steve Jobs I thought I knew painting elegant doodles on a page. He found calligraphy fascinating because it was "beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture". That influence was integrated into the design of the Mac ten years later. It was the first computer with beautiful typography.
Lesson #2: Follow your heart. Don't settle.
"You've got to find what you love, and that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it, and like any great relationship it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don't settle." - Steve Jobs
Then he got fired from Apple, the company he started, when he turned 30. Steve's vision for the future didn't jive with another key executive in the company. After a falling out, Steve got the axe.
So he started other companies including Pixar, the most successful animation studio in the world. If Steve Jobs hadn't been fired from Apple the world would have never seen "Toy Story", "Ratatouille", "Wall-E" and the Academy Award winning "Up".
Lesson #3: Live authentically.
"Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition." - Steve Jobs
In 2004, Steve was diagnosed with a very rare form of pancreatic cancer. He wasn't expected to live longer than 3-6 months. As I write this on April 12, 2010 Steve is very much alive, living full out, thanks to an amazingly skilled surgeon. Death, to Steve, is the single best invention in life. As a change agent the prospect of impending death wakes you up to living your own life, not someone else's. Live each day as if was your last.
After my YouTube diversion I no longer cared about the kernel-thingie that was plaguing my computer. I'll get it taken care of. I always do. I went out and enjoyed the rest of my day, away from the computer, for that is Not how I would spend my last day on earth. My day was filled with love, laugher and really good wine!
If you'd like to see the commencement speech click here.
Valery is a Moxie Master, Mentor & Coach who will teach you how to have the confident courage to go after what you REALLY want with unrelenting drive and passion. That's Moxie! Claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with her unique fast Moxie Therapy process. Get going. Get it done. Moxie Up! today! Get free tips at http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
After giving up the seemingly impossible battle to overcome something called a kernel panic (who thinks of these names?) on my computer I reached out to YouTube to replenish my soul. I discovered the video of the 2005 Stanford commencement speech given by Steve Jobs. So surprised and moved by what he had to say, I watched the video three times. Here are the three key empowering lessons, reminders of what I sometimes forget when stressed:
Lesson #1: Your intuition knows which path to take. Trust it!
"You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever--because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference." - Steve Jobs
Having experienced the ups and downs of the DOT COM industry in my former 'inauthentic' career I certainly knew of Steve Jobs as the founder and CEO of Apple Computers and the former chief executive of Pixar Animation Studios before its acquisition by The Walt Disney company in 2006. I knew very little of what influenced his rise to the top. What I learned was another profound example of what it takes to achieve unprecedented success on your own terms.
Steve Jobs was adopted as a baby boy with the condition that his adoptive parents send him to college after he graduated high school. Dutifully obeying this clause Steve went to college. He dropped out after six months, trusting that all would work out OK. He quit so he could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest him and start taking the ones that did. Much of what he stumbled into by following his curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on.
Steve took up calligraphy. I had a hard time imagining the Steve Jobs I thought I knew painting elegant doodles on a page. He found calligraphy fascinating because it was "beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture". That influence was integrated into the design of the Mac ten years later. It was the first computer with beautiful typography.
Lesson #2: Follow your heart. Don't settle.
"You've got to find what you love, and that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it, and like any great relationship it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don't settle." - Steve Jobs
Then he got fired from Apple, the company he started, when he turned 30. Steve's vision for the future didn't jive with another key executive in the company. After a falling out, Steve got the axe.
So he started other companies including Pixar, the most successful animation studio in the world. If Steve Jobs hadn't been fired from Apple the world would have never seen "Toy Story", "Ratatouille", "Wall-E" and the Academy Award winning "Up".
Lesson #3: Live authentically.
"Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition." - Steve Jobs
In 2004, Steve was diagnosed with a very rare form of pancreatic cancer. He wasn't expected to live longer than 3-6 months. As I write this on April 12, 2010 Steve is very much alive, living full out, thanks to an amazingly skilled surgeon. Death, to Steve, is the single best invention in life. As a change agent the prospect of impending death wakes you up to living your own life, not someone else's. Live each day as if was your last.
After my YouTube diversion I no longer cared about the kernel-thingie that was plaguing my computer. I'll get it taken care of. I always do. I went out and enjoyed the rest of my day, away from the computer, for that is Not how I would spend my last day on earth. My day was filled with love, laugher and really good wine!
If you'd like to see the commencement speech click here.
Valery is a Moxie Master, Mentor & Coach who will teach you how to have the confident courage to go after what you REALLY want with unrelenting drive and passion. That's Moxie! Claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with her unique fast Moxie Therapy process. Get going. Get it done. Moxie Up! today! Get free tips at http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Emily Blunt's Moxie: The Power of Intention
Actress Emily Blunt walked into her audition and firmly announced "I'm here to play Queen Victoria and I'm not leaving until you give me the job". She then focused and commanded every scrap of energy and talent within her to deliver her best performance possible and did not leave that film audition until she was awarded the role.
That, my friends, is MOXIE! The power of intention enables you to Command Your Stage. Emily's ability to muster up her moxie is a shining example of the secret to superstar success. Know what you want and put every part of your being - your thoughts, feelings, choices and actions into alignment with that desire. Speak and act in the direction of your dreams. Let no one and no thing stand between you and that which will make your heart sing.
The difference between those who can't reach the next rung on the ladder of achievement and those who rise above the competition to become extraordinary is Moxie. To reach superstar success you must hold within you a self-focused commitment to an authentic burning desire. A self-focused energy is not about stomping over everyone else to get what you want. It is about acknowledging and honoring who you are and what you want and allowing yourself to have that.
"I love more than anything looking at a movie scene by scene and seeing the intention behind it." - Jodie Foster
Allow the child within your heart, to rise above. In your heart of hearts, you know what you long to do. Notice if the child within your head, what is called the Inner Critic, is holding you back by Finding Excuses And Reasons why you can't have what you want, why you can't do what you want to do and be who you want to be. The acronym for Finding Excuses And Reasons is FEAR. And when you're in fear you turn your back on yourself and retreat, often by taking a path of least resistance.
"Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person." - Albert Einstein
It takes chutzpah to walk into an audition and declare a leading role as yours. What's the worse that could happen? If you don't get the part you're no worse off than you were when you walked into the audition. Any thoughts of failure by not landing the role and what that means for you is stuff you just made up. Doesn't make it true. There will always be another role, another opportunity - unless you get in your own way through fear. What's the best that could happen? You get what you want!
In order to get what you want you have to first know what you want. Then focus all of your thoughts and actions in a way that will support getting it. That self-focus is the first, and essential, intentional step required for superstar success. With each succeeding step you take as you move closer and closer to your goal continue to focus in that direction with the same power of intention. You'll begin to marvel at how your life experience shifts from struggle to seemingly effortless flow as you fully invest yourself in your creative endeavors.
Muster up your Moxie. Have the confident courage to achieve authentic greatness with unrelenting drive and passion.
Valery is a Moxie Master, Mentor & Coach who can teach you how to claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with my unique Moxie Therapy process. Muster up your Moxie!: The confident courage to achieve authentic greatness with unrelenting drive & passion. Get free tips today a http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
That, my friends, is MOXIE! The power of intention enables you to Command Your Stage. Emily's ability to muster up her moxie is a shining example of the secret to superstar success. Know what you want and put every part of your being - your thoughts, feelings, choices and actions into alignment with that desire. Speak and act in the direction of your dreams. Let no one and no thing stand between you and that which will make your heart sing.
The difference between those who can't reach the next rung on the ladder of achievement and those who rise above the competition to become extraordinary is Moxie. To reach superstar success you must hold within you a self-focused commitment to an authentic burning desire. A self-focused energy is not about stomping over everyone else to get what you want. It is about acknowledging and honoring who you are and what you want and allowing yourself to have that.
"I love more than anything looking at a movie scene by scene and seeing the intention behind it." - Jodie Foster
Allow the child within your heart, to rise above. In your heart of hearts, you know what you long to do. Notice if the child within your head, what is called the Inner Critic, is holding you back by Finding Excuses And Reasons why you can't have what you want, why you can't do what you want to do and be who you want to be. The acronym for Finding Excuses And Reasons is FEAR. And when you're in fear you turn your back on yourself and retreat, often by taking a path of least resistance.
"Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person." - Albert Einstein
It takes chutzpah to walk into an audition and declare a leading role as yours. What's the worse that could happen? If you don't get the part you're no worse off than you were when you walked into the audition. Any thoughts of failure by not landing the role and what that means for you is stuff you just made up. Doesn't make it true. There will always be another role, another opportunity - unless you get in your own way through fear. What's the best that could happen? You get what you want!
In order to get what you want you have to first know what you want. Then focus all of your thoughts and actions in a way that will support getting it. That self-focus is the first, and essential, intentional step required for superstar success. With each succeeding step you take as you move closer and closer to your goal continue to focus in that direction with the same power of intention. You'll begin to marvel at how your life experience shifts from struggle to seemingly effortless flow as you fully invest yourself in your creative endeavors.
Muster up your Moxie. Have the confident courage to achieve authentic greatness with unrelenting drive and passion.
Valery is a Moxie Master, Mentor & Coach who can teach you how to claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with my unique Moxie Therapy process. Muster up your Moxie!: The confident courage to achieve authentic greatness with unrelenting drive & passion. Get free tips today a http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
A Conversation with Dad: The Shock that Rocked My World
When you show up with love in your heart, what is returned to you is pure love.
While I knew this piece of universal wisdom to be true, I never experienced it so profoundly as I did the other day. I flew to Miami to see my aging ailing Father. I have a good, although not very close, relationship with Dad. My childhood was tumultuous. My parents went through a long drawn out battle of a divorce that left a lot of emotional debris. My father, who was a renowned neuro-psychiatrist, went on to make some horrendous decisions in his personal life. His misguided thinking and its outcomes were splattered across the media headlines on more than one occasion. Other bad choices liquidated the wealth he had built up over his lengthy career.
I defined my Dad by these life-altering choices. Taking the lessons I learned with my as I watch his life experience crash and burn, I made different decisions – took different paths – in my own life. What I didn’t know, until the other day, that the greatest gift I would ever get would be from my Dad.
This week my Dad taught me the following:
1. You do not know what you do not know
2. The natural human spirit creates life and faces the end of life with grace and dignity.
3. As long as there is breath in our lungs there are gifts in the lessons that can be learned – we continue to grow.
4. When you show up with love in your heart, what is returned to you is pure love.
In earlier visits with my Dad I showed up as if I was fulfilling a family obligation. I had my expectations about what the short time we spent together would be like and got exactly what I expected. Year after year. All I did was reaffirm what I thought to be true about my Dad and my relationship with him; Dad was a selfish SOB and he never knew or cared much for me.
This time I knew it might be the last time I would see him while he was still lucid. He’s bedridden and cannot see or hear very well. I prepared his tiny meals and fed him as I would any infant. Sitting at his bedside I decided that I would give him the gift of closure, peace of mind, so that he could let go comfortably. I decided to arrive in a state of love instead of expectation.
I wasn’t prepared for what I experienced. Here was a man who I thought was devoid of emotional tenderness, any interest in who I am as his daughter, and full of himself. Who I experienced was a man stripped of all ego, all parts of him that he used to cope with his own inner pain, freely expressing his truth. It was the most profound awakening I have ever witnessed. The awakening wasn’t within him. This new perspective came from within me. I woke up to who my Dad really is at his deepest core and it rocked my world.
Dad expressed the lessons he learned, his love for me, my siblings, his wife whom he was once estranged and his love of life. While his Alzheimer’s made it difficult for him to fully communicate what he wanted to say he spoke of his appreciation for life and all that it had to offer. When his memory failed he would fill in the gaps with a little joke, a rhyme or pieces of an old song that surfaced out of nowhere. I was captivated and engaged as an observer and witness to the joy and delight that is my father. My time with him flew by and I longed for more.
I kissed him goodbye when I left. The flight home was tearful as I felt a wave of stuck toxic energy within me release itself. The resulting hole in my inner being was filled with love and appreciation for the resiliency, enormous power and inner wisdom that is the human spirit. I am grateful that I had learned enough of my own lessons to get out of my own way so that I could experience what I never thought possible….to know and love and be loved for who I am for and by my Dad.
I was completely wrong about who I thought my Dad was. His actions were always well intended yet his choices of execution were woefully misguided through his own Inner Critic, his own pain. Dad is a man filled with love for his children and his purpose in life, to heal others in pain. He never gave up his quest to become the man his heart longed to express. I was blessed to be a witness as he revealed his truth, all that he had learned, and all that he still had to share.
I invite you to show up with love in your heart the next time you visit with what you assume are your dysfunctional family relationships. Give yourself the gift of the profound power, energy and lessons that can be learned through the purest expression of the human heart.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves authentically in their personal and professional endeavors. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
While I knew this piece of universal wisdom to be true, I never experienced it so profoundly as I did the other day. I flew to Miami to see my aging ailing Father. I have a good, although not very close, relationship with Dad. My childhood was tumultuous. My parents went through a long drawn out battle of a divorce that left a lot of emotional debris. My father, who was a renowned neuro-psychiatrist, went on to make some horrendous decisions in his personal life. His misguided thinking and its outcomes were splattered across the media headlines on more than one occasion. Other bad choices liquidated the wealth he had built up over his lengthy career.
I defined my Dad by these life-altering choices. Taking the lessons I learned with my as I watch his life experience crash and burn, I made different decisions – took different paths – in my own life. What I didn’t know, until the other day, that the greatest gift I would ever get would be from my Dad.
This week my Dad taught me the following:
1. You do not know what you do not know
2. The natural human spirit creates life and faces the end of life with grace and dignity.
3. As long as there is breath in our lungs there are gifts in the lessons that can be learned – we continue to grow.
4. When you show up with love in your heart, what is returned to you is pure love.
In earlier visits with my Dad I showed up as if I was fulfilling a family obligation. I had my expectations about what the short time we spent together would be like and got exactly what I expected. Year after year. All I did was reaffirm what I thought to be true about my Dad and my relationship with him; Dad was a selfish SOB and he never knew or cared much for me.
This time I knew it might be the last time I would see him while he was still lucid. He’s bedridden and cannot see or hear very well. I prepared his tiny meals and fed him as I would any infant. Sitting at his bedside I decided that I would give him the gift of closure, peace of mind, so that he could let go comfortably. I decided to arrive in a state of love instead of expectation.
I wasn’t prepared for what I experienced. Here was a man who I thought was devoid of emotional tenderness, any interest in who I am as his daughter, and full of himself. Who I experienced was a man stripped of all ego, all parts of him that he used to cope with his own inner pain, freely expressing his truth. It was the most profound awakening I have ever witnessed. The awakening wasn’t within him. This new perspective came from within me. I woke up to who my Dad really is at his deepest core and it rocked my world.
Dad expressed the lessons he learned, his love for me, my siblings, his wife whom he was once estranged and his love of life. While his Alzheimer’s made it difficult for him to fully communicate what he wanted to say he spoke of his appreciation for life and all that it had to offer. When his memory failed he would fill in the gaps with a little joke, a rhyme or pieces of an old song that surfaced out of nowhere. I was captivated and engaged as an observer and witness to the joy and delight that is my father. My time with him flew by and I longed for more.
I kissed him goodbye when I left. The flight home was tearful as I felt a wave of stuck toxic energy within me release itself. The resulting hole in my inner being was filled with love and appreciation for the resiliency, enormous power and inner wisdom that is the human spirit. I am grateful that I had learned enough of my own lessons to get out of my own way so that I could experience what I never thought possible….to know and love and be loved for who I am for and by my Dad.
I was completely wrong about who I thought my Dad was. His actions were always well intended yet his choices of execution were woefully misguided through his own Inner Critic, his own pain. Dad is a man filled with love for his children and his purpose in life, to heal others in pain. He never gave up his quest to become the man his heart longed to express. I was blessed to be a witness as he revealed his truth, all that he had learned, and all that he still had to share.
I invite you to show up with love in your heart the next time you visit with what you assume are your dysfunctional family relationships. Give yourself the gift of the profound power, energy and lessons that can be learned through the purest expression of the human heart.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves authentically in their personal and professional endeavors. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
Friday, February 19, 2010
How to Stop A Downward Spiral
Have you ever felt a little out of control, perhaps short-tempered, not in a good place, spiraling downward and not sure why? I help lots of people every day rise above this state so that they can master their opportunities instead of continue to crash and burn as a victim of their circumstance.
So you can imagine my surprise when I recognized that I was smack in the middle of my own tumble and fall.
It happens. To everyone. The key is to be aware of where you are so that you can examine what brought you to that place so you can turn yourself back around.
A downward spiral starts with an event or two that sets off a trigger. This charge stirs up old outdated coping behavior that only serves to add energy to the emotional roller coaster. Events in and of themselves do not cause stress. It is what we have these events mean for or about us that ignites the fall from grace.
In my case it was the notification and the cold realization that my Father won't be with us for very much longer. He lives 3,000 miles away and I only see him a couple of times a year. I fly in and fly out as quick as I can for the obligatory visit. We were never very close.
I made my peace with my Dad years ago. He's 94 years old so I've been well prepared for this day for a few years. Even with a good attitude, the life he's living now hardly able to walk with very little eyesight or ability to hear isn't what he wants. So why was I on such a downward spiral, unable to get out of my own way?
I stopped everything that I was doing so that I could quiet my mind. In the silence, that calm inner wisdom, what I playfully call the Inner Wizard, spoke to me. It told me that I was not reacting to the eventual death of my Dad, I was beginning to mourn the loss of not having a warm loving close relationship with my Father - ever. If he was gone, then it is certain, I will never know what that kind of parental relationship feels like. This pain, this profound sadness, had been buried deep within me all these years without me realizing it. And now that pain was bubbling up to the surface. I allowed myself to feel the deep inner pain of that realization.
After some time, I turned my attention to the lessons I learned as a result of the dysfunctional parental upbringing I went through. I understood that my Father, too, never had much of a childhood. He came from a very poor family, raised himself on the streets of East Orange, New Jersey and became a recognized expert in his field. His personal life was riddled with his own downward spirals, major crashes and severe burns. I learned a lot of valuable life lessons as the observer of his life experience. I also knew that he was always well intention, just very misguided by his own inner pain, his jabbering Inner Critic. How could my Father express his love for me when he couldn't even love himself.
As a child I thought he considered me to be a disappointment, a moron. His word for me, "lamebrain", echoed in my mind. Through my own personal journey of self awareness I realized that everyone is doing the best they can with the light they have to see. My Father was just misguided and misdirected. Even as a brilliant neurologist, he was missing several batteries in his flashlight when it came to his own perception of himself and the world.
What I discovered as a result of having gone through the experiences, the pain, the sadness, the anger, resentment, the self-loathing enabled me to turn all of that into forgiveness, peace, joy and unconditional love. I discovered that he really did, and does, love me. I would not be who I am today without my Dad. I may not have reached a point where I felt so lost and shut down to muster up the courage and the strength to do something about it. I became committed to claiming my truth, owning my power and commanding my life direction. I love who I am and what I do in my life today - teaching others how to do the same.
Wow. My Father went through a lot of pain to give me a priceless gift. He gave me the gift of empowerment and self-actualization. We are complete. I now feel nothing but love for him. At peace, and off the downward spiral, I booked a flight to see him so I could tell him, in person, how much I love him and thank him for all that he has given me.
You have the power within you to turn around irrational coping patterns that manifest as emotional tornadoes of angst. Downward spirals are a signal that you have a tremendous opportunity to rise above, reach even greater levels of expanded awareness and possibility. If you are in such a state, love and value yourself enough to get the gift in the profound lessons you can learn to heal and grow.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves authentically in their personal and professional endeavors. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
So you can imagine my surprise when I recognized that I was smack in the middle of my own tumble and fall.
It happens. To everyone. The key is to be aware of where you are so that you can examine what brought you to that place so you can turn yourself back around.
A downward spiral starts with an event or two that sets off a trigger. This charge stirs up old outdated coping behavior that only serves to add energy to the emotional roller coaster. Events in and of themselves do not cause stress. It is what we have these events mean for or about us that ignites the fall from grace.
In my case it was the notification and the cold realization that my Father won't be with us for very much longer. He lives 3,000 miles away and I only see him a couple of times a year. I fly in and fly out as quick as I can for the obligatory visit. We were never very close.
I made my peace with my Dad years ago. He's 94 years old so I've been well prepared for this day for a few years. Even with a good attitude, the life he's living now hardly able to walk with very little eyesight or ability to hear isn't what he wants. So why was I on such a downward spiral, unable to get out of my own way?
I stopped everything that I was doing so that I could quiet my mind. In the silence, that calm inner wisdom, what I playfully call the Inner Wizard, spoke to me. It told me that I was not reacting to the eventual death of my Dad, I was beginning to mourn the loss of not having a warm loving close relationship with my Father - ever. If he was gone, then it is certain, I will never know what that kind of parental relationship feels like. This pain, this profound sadness, had been buried deep within me all these years without me realizing it. And now that pain was bubbling up to the surface. I allowed myself to feel the deep inner pain of that realization.
After some time, I turned my attention to the lessons I learned as a result of the dysfunctional parental upbringing I went through. I understood that my Father, too, never had much of a childhood. He came from a very poor family, raised himself on the streets of East Orange, New Jersey and became a recognized expert in his field. His personal life was riddled with his own downward spirals, major crashes and severe burns. I learned a lot of valuable life lessons as the observer of his life experience. I also knew that he was always well intention, just very misguided by his own inner pain, his jabbering Inner Critic. How could my Father express his love for me when he couldn't even love himself.
As a child I thought he considered me to be a disappointment, a moron. His word for me, "lamebrain", echoed in my mind. Through my own personal journey of self awareness I realized that everyone is doing the best they can with the light they have to see. My Father was just misguided and misdirected. Even as a brilliant neurologist, he was missing several batteries in his flashlight when it came to his own perception of himself and the world.
What I discovered as a result of having gone through the experiences, the pain, the sadness, the anger, resentment, the self-loathing enabled me to turn all of that into forgiveness, peace, joy and unconditional love. I discovered that he really did, and does, love me. I would not be who I am today without my Dad. I may not have reached a point where I felt so lost and shut down to muster up the courage and the strength to do something about it. I became committed to claiming my truth, owning my power and commanding my life direction. I love who I am and what I do in my life today - teaching others how to do the same.
Wow. My Father went through a lot of pain to give me a priceless gift. He gave me the gift of empowerment and self-actualization. We are complete. I now feel nothing but love for him. At peace, and off the downward spiral, I booked a flight to see him so I could tell him, in person, how much I love him and thank him for all that he has given me.
You have the power within you to turn around irrational coping patterns that manifest as emotional tornadoes of angst. Downward spirals are a signal that you have a tremendous opportunity to rise above, reach even greater levels of expanded awareness and possibility. If you are in such a state, love and value yourself enough to get the gift in the profound lessons you can learn to heal and grow.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves authentically in their personal and professional endeavors. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Prepare To Be Mystified!
"When you feel in your gut what you are and then dynamically pursue it - don't back down and don't give up - then you're going to mystify a lot of folks." - Bob Dylan
Some of you may have noticed that I have not been blogging in the last two weeks. Empowered by my Inner Wizard, I am busy joyfully creating a new and even more powerful website jammed packed with new goodies for you! For those of you who are new to this blog, the Inner Wizard is your unique expression of the human spirit. Some people call it a Higher Self, Inner Being, Soul, Heart-centered God force, or any number of other names that describe the voice of authenticity, intuition and the source of inspiration within each and every one of us. I playfully call it the Inner Wizard.
The outer expression of the Inner Wizard is:
Worthy
Inspirational
Zealous
Authentic
Responsible
Deliberate
My gut, my intuition, my Inner Wizard has been calling me to allow it to come out and play, to boldly and fully express herself. Stay tuned. I will keep you posted.
“Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.” - Alan Alda
Excerpt: For the moment I'm busy playing in the 'kitchen' with my Inner Wizard cooking up a new and delicious website jammed packed with goodies for you. Stay tuned!
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the master of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can successfully achieve what their heart is calling them to become. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
Some of you may have noticed that I have not been blogging in the last two weeks. Empowered by my Inner Wizard, I am busy joyfully creating a new and even more powerful website jammed packed with new goodies for you! For those of you who are new to this blog, the Inner Wizard is your unique expression of the human spirit. Some people call it a Higher Self, Inner Being, Soul, Heart-centered God force, or any number of other names that describe the voice of authenticity, intuition and the source of inspiration within each and every one of us. I playfully call it the Inner Wizard.
The outer expression of the Inner Wizard is:
Worthy
Inspirational
Zealous
Authentic
Responsible
Deliberate
My gut, my intuition, my Inner Wizard has been calling me to allow it to come out and play, to boldly and fully express herself. Stay tuned. I will keep you posted.
“Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.” - Alan Alda
Excerpt: For the moment I'm busy playing in the 'kitchen' with my Inner Wizard cooking up a new and delicious website jammed packed with goodies for you. Stay tuned!
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the master of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can successfully achieve what their heart is calling them to become. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
How To Identify and Transform Victim Mentality
In one of the Harry Potter books Harry comes face to face with a mirror in which he sees his parents staring back at him. He longs to stay with the mirror to continue to see his parents and Professor Dumbledore tells him he must stop. This mirror shows exactly what the viewer wants to see instead of what is.
You view your life through such a mirror.
What you see and what you experience is really what you want or expect to see at your deepest core. What you see is not reality. It is merely an interpretation shaped by your belief system and internal thought patterns – too often created by your Inner Critic, the voice of self-doubt and fear that you hear chatting endlessly in your mind.
Your husband doesn’t appreciate you, your boss is unrealistic in her expectations, the economy is holding you back, and the grass is most definitely greener in someone else’s yard. Bad things happen and you want to say that the people or circumstances around you are to blame for these things.
You can’t be, do or have what you want because of someone or something else – outside of you. You don't take responsibility for your life because you think that these other people and circumstances have power over you.
The challenge with this thinking is that it turns you into a victim. Some experiences are too painful to admit that you had a hand in it so you would rather look the other way and say it is someone else's fault. Well, it is someone else’s fault in a way – it is the fault of your Inner Critic. Oh wait, your Inner Critic is your own creation – so it really is your fault.
Not really. While your experiences are your responsibility the word fault, shame, or blame has no place in you examination of the events of your life. You do not deliberately create bad experiences for yourself. You do not deliberately set yourself up as a victim of your life. Unfortunately where you struggle, you have unconsciously given your power over to your Inner Critic and you are now victim to its misguided opinions and demands.
When you are in this state know that it is your Inner Critic just trying to do his job of keeping you safe. He does this by holding you back. By Finding Excuses And Reasons he will not allow you to move forward out of your safe comfort zone where you will have newer unknown – therefore potentially scary - experiences. By the way - the words Finding Excuses And Reasons create the acronym FEAR .
Your Inner Critic is afraid of anything it does not already know. You may not like your current comfort zone but your Inner Critic knows it to be safe so you’ll stay right where you are, thank you very much!
To hold firmly to your personal power, to deliberately direct and govern your life experience you must reclaim the power you have given to your Inner Critic. Restore it to you’re the voice that comes from your heart, the place of your authenticity, intuition, passion and inspiration. Some people call this their Higher Self, Soul, or Inner Being. I playfully call it the Inner Wizard. Look within and ask from your heart what role you played in creating a specific experience.
Let go of any judgment when you ask this question. Just look for information. When you discover how YOU created the bad stuff you now have the knowledge to put in corrections to have a better experience the next time a similar situation is presented. Without such examination you will continue to repeat the same unwanted patterns of behavior that create the same bad experiences over and over again.
In your examination, you will realize what you can do to turn the situation around so you can have a good experience moving forward. Sometimes, just realizing that you have the power to create even the bad stuff brings relief and new awareness.
If you have the power to create the bad stuff you also have the power to create the good stuff. Examining good experiences will give you the recipe to create a similar good experience over and over again.
If things are not going well for you - stop. Take a breath and tap into your Inner Wizard. She will tell you where you went off track and give you guidance on how to get on the right road again. Ask for help in seeing a bigger picture. This new perspective can be as simple as understanding that you absolutely without question have the power to change your life. You are a victim to no one and no circumstance.
No one can take away your personal power but you can surely give it away. Take it back from wherever you’ve parted from it. Let your heart-centered Inner Wizard guide you to the places you left your personal power behind.
Own and face your responsibility in any situation. Learn the lesson and forgive yourself for the part you played if it is an unwanted experience, and let it go. Remember how you felt when you gave up your power and became a victim. Notice how you feel now that you have reclaimed your personal power and are creating the experiences you choose to have.
If you ever want to know whether you are operating from a Victim mentality just check to see how you feel. If you feel bad, you have allowed yourself to be a Victim of your Inner Critic. If you feel good, you are standing solidly in your personal power deliberately creating a life that makes your heart sing.
You and you alone are responsible for the quality of your life. You have the inner resources to be the deliberate creator of your life experience. By disarming your Inner Critic and empowering your Inner Wizard, you will transform your victim mentality to a powerful creator. You will then be empowered to succeed in the passionate and authentic pursuit of your deepest desires.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the master of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can successfully achieve what their heart is calling them to become. Become the hero of your opportunities instead of the victim of your circumstance. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
You view your life through such a mirror.
What you see and what you experience is really what you want or expect to see at your deepest core. What you see is not reality. It is merely an interpretation shaped by your belief system and internal thought patterns – too often created by your Inner Critic, the voice of self-doubt and fear that you hear chatting endlessly in your mind.
Your husband doesn’t appreciate you, your boss is unrealistic in her expectations, the economy is holding you back, and the grass is most definitely greener in someone else’s yard. Bad things happen and you want to say that the people or circumstances around you are to blame for these things.
You can’t be, do or have what you want because of someone or something else – outside of you. You don't take responsibility for your life because you think that these other people and circumstances have power over you.
The challenge with this thinking is that it turns you into a victim. Some experiences are too painful to admit that you had a hand in it so you would rather look the other way and say it is someone else's fault. Well, it is someone else’s fault in a way – it is the fault of your Inner Critic. Oh wait, your Inner Critic is your own creation – so it really is your fault.
Not really. While your experiences are your responsibility the word fault, shame, or blame has no place in you examination of the events of your life. You do not deliberately create bad experiences for yourself. You do not deliberately set yourself up as a victim of your life. Unfortunately where you struggle, you have unconsciously given your power over to your Inner Critic and you are now victim to its misguided opinions and demands.
When you are in this state know that it is your Inner Critic just trying to do his job of keeping you safe. He does this by holding you back. By Finding Excuses And Reasons he will not allow you to move forward out of your safe comfort zone where you will have newer unknown – therefore potentially scary - experiences. By the way - the words Finding Excuses And Reasons create the acronym FEAR .
Your Inner Critic is afraid of anything it does not already know. You may not like your current comfort zone but your Inner Critic knows it to be safe so you’ll stay right where you are, thank you very much!
To hold firmly to your personal power, to deliberately direct and govern your life experience you must reclaim the power you have given to your Inner Critic. Restore it to you’re the voice that comes from your heart, the place of your authenticity, intuition, passion and inspiration. Some people call this their Higher Self, Soul, or Inner Being. I playfully call it the Inner Wizard. Look within and ask from your heart what role you played in creating a specific experience.
Let go of any judgment when you ask this question. Just look for information. When you discover how YOU created the bad stuff you now have the knowledge to put in corrections to have a better experience the next time a similar situation is presented. Without such examination you will continue to repeat the same unwanted patterns of behavior that create the same bad experiences over and over again.
In your examination, you will realize what you can do to turn the situation around so you can have a good experience moving forward. Sometimes, just realizing that you have the power to create even the bad stuff brings relief and new awareness.
If you have the power to create the bad stuff you also have the power to create the good stuff. Examining good experiences will give you the recipe to create a similar good experience over and over again.
If things are not going well for you - stop. Take a breath and tap into your Inner Wizard. She will tell you where you went off track and give you guidance on how to get on the right road again. Ask for help in seeing a bigger picture. This new perspective can be as simple as understanding that you absolutely without question have the power to change your life. You are a victim to no one and no circumstance.
No one can take away your personal power but you can surely give it away. Take it back from wherever you’ve parted from it. Let your heart-centered Inner Wizard guide you to the places you left your personal power behind.
Own and face your responsibility in any situation. Learn the lesson and forgive yourself for the part you played if it is an unwanted experience, and let it go. Remember how you felt when you gave up your power and became a victim. Notice how you feel now that you have reclaimed your personal power and are creating the experiences you choose to have.
If you ever want to know whether you are operating from a Victim mentality just check to see how you feel. If you feel bad, you have allowed yourself to be a Victim of your Inner Critic. If you feel good, you are standing solidly in your personal power deliberately creating a life that makes your heart sing.
You and you alone are responsible for the quality of your life. You have the inner resources to be the deliberate creator of your life experience. By disarming your Inner Critic and empowering your Inner Wizard, you will transform your victim mentality to a powerful creator. You will then be empowered to succeed in the passionate and authentic pursuit of your deepest desires.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the master of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can successfully achieve what their heart is calling them to become. Become the hero of your opportunities instead of the victim of your circumstance. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The Inner Wizard Formula For Success
There are what seems to be an infinite number of books that provide a formula for success. They will tell you to work hard, pay your dues, earn advanced degrees in your education. The Inner Wizard formula for success, however, is a bit contrary to many of those strategies and quite simple.
There are 3 Essential Empowering Factors in the Inner Wizard Formula for Success:
• Authenticity: Who You Really Are & What You Want to Achieve
• Confidence: Self-esteem and Intuition
• Alignment: Mindfully Speak & Act in the Direction of your Highest Goals
To apply this formula you must first acknowledge where you currently are and get clear on what success looks like for you. What would make your heart sing? If you don’t know the answers to these initial questions you may be on a path that is not your own.
Do you even know who you REALLY are? Do you show up in your life authentically? Or have you become who you "SHOULD be" or are "SUPPOSED to be"? Are you expressing your authentic self each and every day or have you learned to express who you were conditioned to be from an early age? If you are chronically tired or feel unfulfilled then you’re probably living through your conditioning instead of who you came into this world to be, your natural self. If you have a lot of energy and feel good about who you are and what you’re doing then you are living as, or very close to, your true self, your true nature.
How you feel will tell you whether or not you are led by your Inner Critic or your Inner Wizard. Your Inner Critic is the conditioned voice that speaks through self-doubt and fear. The voice of your Inner Wizard is the voice of your truth, your intuition and deepest desires. If you believe your conditioned self is your true self and make life decisions based on that false view you set yourself up for a lifetime of struggle. You’ve empowered your Inner Critic and become it’s victim.
To achieve, maintain and enjoy success you have to stand centered in the truth of who you are as you live and breathe.
Confidence is the factor that convinces you that you are capable of achieving whatever goals you set for yourself. Self-esteem is rooted in how you value yourself. If you have high self-esteem you know you are worth whatever effort it takes to achieve your goals and realize your dreams. Without a healthy self-esteem, you will just buy the books, attend the seminars, buy the gym memberships, make the New Years resolutions and so on, and never follow through. Your Inner Critic will continue to lead your life’s direction.
You’ve already been there, done that. To the extent that you have not yet achieved your dream is the extent to which you have allowed yourself to fall into the trap set by your Inner Critic to keep you safe in your current comfort zone. If, however, you tap into your own intuition you will be guided by inner wisdom to propel you forward. You will naturally focus your energy and intention upon your deepest desires. You will pay attention to your gut feelings – you know, the voice you said you should have listened to instead of making the decision or taking a step that didn’t end well.
The third factor for success is to speak and act in alignment with what it is you long to achieve. Mindfully pay attention to your words, your thoughts and your actions. Do they move you closer to or away from your goals? Do they support success or limit your ability to triumph? If how you think and feel goes against what you intend to create then reach for a newer and better perspective. You must rise above unconscious unsupportive self-talk, procrastination, limiting beliefs and any actions that only serve to hold you back. Even a decision to not do something, such as public speaking, is an action that keeps you from success if getting out in front of people will move you up a few rungs on the proverbial ladder to success.
Once these three empowering Inner Wizard factors are actively in place, your success is guaranteed. You will naturally and intuitively work tirelessly and joyfully as you turn your dreams into reality. You will continue to grow and expand your vision of what it possible for you to achieve reaching higher and higher levels of achievement you wouldn’t consider possible today
You and you alone are responsible for the quality of your life. You have the inner resources to be the deliberate creator of your life experience. By disarming your Inner Critic and empowering your Inner Wizard, you will get out of your own way as you succeed in the passionate and authentic pursuit of your deepest desires.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Become the hero of your opportunities instead of the victim of your circumstance. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
There are 3 Essential Empowering Factors in the Inner Wizard Formula for Success:
• Authenticity: Who You Really Are & What You Want to Achieve
• Confidence: Self-esteem and Intuition
• Alignment: Mindfully Speak & Act in the Direction of your Highest Goals
To apply this formula you must first acknowledge where you currently are and get clear on what success looks like for you. What would make your heart sing? If you don’t know the answers to these initial questions you may be on a path that is not your own.
Do you even know who you REALLY are? Do you show up in your life authentically? Or have you become who you "SHOULD be" or are "SUPPOSED to be"? Are you expressing your authentic self each and every day or have you learned to express who you were conditioned to be from an early age? If you are chronically tired or feel unfulfilled then you’re probably living through your conditioning instead of who you came into this world to be, your natural self. If you have a lot of energy and feel good about who you are and what you’re doing then you are living as, or very close to, your true self, your true nature.
How you feel will tell you whether or not you are led by your Inner Critic or your Inner Wizard. Your Inner Critic is the conditioned voice that speaks through self-doubt and fear. The voice of your Inner Wizard is the voice of your truth, your intuition and deepest desires. If you believe your conditioned self is your true self and make life decisions based on that false view you set yourself up for a lifetime of struggle. You’ve empowered your Inner Critic and become it’s victim.
To achieve, maintain and enjoy success you have to stand centered in the truth of who you are as you live and breathe.
Confidence is the factor that convinces you that you are capable of achieving whatever goals you set for yourself. Self-esteem is rooted in how you value yourself. If you have high self-esteem you know you are worth whatever effort it takes to achieve your goals and realize your dreams. Without a healthy self-esteem, you will just buy the books, attend the seminars, buy the gym memberships, make the New Years resolutions and so on, and never follow through. Your Inner Critic will continue to lead your life’s direction.
You’ve already been there, done that. To the extent that you have not yet achieved your dream is the extent to which you have allowed yourself to fall into the trap set by your Inner Critic to keep you safe in your current comfort zone. If, however, you tap into your own intuition you will be guided by inner wisdom to propel you forward. You will naturally focus your energy and intention upon your deepest desires. You will pay attention to your gut feelings – you know, the voice you said you should have listened to instead of making the decision or taking a step that didn’t end well.
The third factor for success is to speak and act in alignment with what it is you long to achieve. Mindfully pay attention to your words, your thoughts and your actions. Do they move you closer to or away from your goals? Do they support success or limit your ability to triumph? If how you think and feel goes against what you intend to create then reach for a newer and better perspective. You must rise above unconscious unsupportive self-talk, procrastination, limiting beliefs and any actions that only serve to hold you back. Even a decision to not do something, such as public speaking, is an action that keeps you from success if getting out in front of people will move you up a few rungs on the proverbial ladder to success.
Once these three empowering Inner Wizard factors are actively in place, your success is guaranteed. You will naturally and intuitively work tirelessly and joyfully as you turn your dreams into reality. You will continue to grow and expand your vision of what it possible for you to achieve reaching higher and higher levels of achievement you wouldn’t consider possible today
You and you alone are responsible for the quality of your life. You have the inner resources to be the deliberate creator of your life experience. By disarming your Inner Critic and empowering your Inner Wizard, you will get out of your own way as you succeed in the passionate and authentic pursuit of your deepest desires.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Become the hero of your opportunities instead of the victim of your circumstance. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
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