I was not surprised to learn in recent interviews with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, former close confidante to Michael Jackson, that Michael lost the will to live. He was embarrassed to go out in public. He had mutilated his face so much through unnecessary plastic surgery that he thought he looked like "a lizard". All of his face enhancement procedures were in a desperate desire to look like someone who could be loveable. The more he resisted his misguided feelings of inadequacy the more inadequate he felt about himself.
"What you resist persists." – Carl Jung
As phenomenally talented as he was, all he saw when he looked in the mirror was ugliness. What he wanted most was to be loved. Oh, he was idolized by fans, then criticized and finally, laughed at for being "Wacko Jacko". In the taped conversations between Rabbi Boteach and Michael Jackson, Michael reveled that he wrapped his self validation around his physical appearance. Here again, he completely discounts his natural talents and tremendous gift to the world. For Michael, if he didn't look like his warped definition of what was lovable, love would be fleeting if not impossible to achieve.
There isn't a plastic surgeon, adoring fan or intimate relationship in the world that can make a person feel lovable and loved if they don't hold love for themselves within. Period. Add several exclamation points for extra emphasis. Since Michael didn't think that he was someone who could be loved for who he is, he feared that he would enter into his elder years alone and lonely. This self-loathing and fear was so intense that Michael, perhaps unknowingly, found a way to make sure that dreaded state of existence never became his reality. He didn't live beyond 50 years of age.
That's the sad truth of it all. If you hold a belief about yourself - good or bad - you will make sure that your thoughts, actions and outcomes justify, support and validate that belief. If you think you are unloveable you will make it hard for anyone else, let alone yourself, to love you. If you think you're not smart/talented/rich/lucky/good/worthy/ or "whatever" enough to experience your deepest desires you will work hard to make sure to create evidence to validate that belief. You bought into that belief and, by gosh, you'll do whatever you have to do to justify that purchase.
"We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are." Anais Nin
- Not smart enough - you'll hold yourself back from challenges that require a higher level of intelligence than you think you have.
- Not talented enough - you'll hold yourself back from pushing beyond where you think - Not worthy enough - you'll make sure that you don't acquire (or keep if acquired) possessions, career positions or relationship that you think are beyond your worth.
"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." -Richard Bach
When you see or read about someone who seemingly has everything - a fabulous career and all the abundance that can come with it - self-destruct in public humiliation there is a good chance that their self-sabotaging behavior is rooted in a belief system that does not support all they have achieved. Usually the fallen friend, celebrity, or politician will Find Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) to explain their erratic behavior. The truth is, they often just fear that it's only a matter of time before the public finds out the 'truth' about them. This truth is the misguided belief.
Know this, if you discover that you're complaining (resisting) that someone doesn't love, value, respect, consider, appreciate, or whatever you think they don't give you enough of, what is really going on is that you do not hold this same belief about yourself. You don't love, value, respect, consider, appreciate, etc. yourself. If you held those things within you for yourself you would not be looking to others to feel loved, valued or respected. You would have it whether anyone else gave it to you or not. And as presented earlier, you cannot receive what you don't already have within.
So, stop resisting! Be willing to accept and embrace all parts of your. Where you feel "not enough" look for evidence to shine light on experiences where you were most certainly, enough! For example, if you think you are not smart enough, look at all the things you've learned! If you think you're not pretty enough, let the beauty that is within you shine through. There is nothing more stunning than a person who carries beauty and grace within them.
Be willing to let go of your resistance. Notice how your energy shifts and increases as you show up in your day going with the flow instead of pushing against it. If you don't believe me know that your unwillingness to consider this possibility is a form of resistance. All you have to do is turn your focus upon that which you want instead of what you do not want. Just 'try it on' for a couple of days and see if your experiences shift a bit as you create this new perspective.
"Life is the color you paint it." ~ Sophia Elise
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom & get out of their own Inner Critic way; stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within, inspire the Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
2 Ways to Discover Your Raison D'Etre - Reason For Being
Raison D'Etre is French for reason, or purpose, for the existence of someone or something. Each and every person comes into this world with a purpose, unique talents to achieve that purpose and the inner wisdom to guide them along the way. This is a birthright. Without exception. Since everyone walking this Earth exists, you would think that everyone knew his or her purpose in life. Unfortunately many people are disconnected with their Raison d'etre and are plodding along, successfully or not, spending their life energy and time doing something that may feed themselves and their family yet starves their soul.
We do not live in an either/or world. We live in an "and" world. You can do both. Simply put, the reason you are here is to express your full potential using your unique qifts. You are here to tap into the intuitive driven passion that achieves the purpose of bringing forth your unique gifts out into this world - expansively. For those that feed their soul, do what makes their heart sing, work is play and each day is an opportunity to express to the world who they are, what they are here to do. Life flows seemingly effortlessly. Even with the ups and downs, twists and turns, life is fulfilling and worth the ride!
For those who live off-purpose, doing what they think they 'should' be doing, live can be exhausting and unfulfilling even if successful. Those who have turned their back on their raison d'etre feel like something is missing and will sometimes joke that they "still don't know what they want to be when they grow up" well into adulthood. If you struggle to find joy, energy and satisfaction in your work and in your life you are living off purpose. You are not living a life in alignment with who you are at your deepest core. Chances are you don't even know what your unique talents are let alone use them. The funny thing is, many people don't see what their special gift is because it comes so easily for them. They find it so easy and effortless to do what they excel at naturally that they think everyone can do it. It doesn't occur to them that this unique talent is theirs as a birthright with which to express themselves and build their life around.
"Seek the wisdom that will untie your knot, seek the path that demands your whole being." ~Rumi
There are two simple ways to get a glimpse at who you really are and what your unique gift is to share with the world:
1. Think back to when you were a child. Who did you admire or aspire to be? Was it a famous person, a character in a book or movie, a relative or teacher? Who awed you, made you stop and pay attention? Once you have identified this person, what attributes of this person impressed you? Were they brave, funny, larger than life, strong, loving, free, giving, smart? What was it about what this person or fictional character did that called out to you? List as many attributes and actions as you can.
For example, as a child I was awed by a character I saw in a movie on TV, "Auntie Mame". Auntie Mame was a woman who was eclectic, fun, fashionable, surrounded herself with wonderfully odd creative and talented people, traveled around the world and experienced fun and fascinating events in her life. She lived this rich in experience life and mentored others to do the same. Oh, how I wanted to be Auntie Mame! However, I didn't see myself then as being extroverted enough to put myself 'out there' as she did, take risks and stand up for who she is and what she believed in. As an adult, I reconnected with my truth and now live a life centered in the truth of who I am, enjoy rich delicious experiences, am surrounded by a wonderfully eclectic group of talented people and mentor others to live their lives as richly whatever that means to them.
Who you aspire to be, what speaks to your soul as a child, is a mirror of who you are. You love what you see in that person or character because it is a reflection of you! Show up in your life expressing your Inner Auntie Mame, Ninja Warrior, your hero.
2. What energizes you? Think back to a time when you were 'in the zone'. You were totally present, in the moment, doing whatever it was that you were doing, enjoying it fully without any sense of time and space. You were totally focused and bursting with creativity. These 'in the zone' experiences are windows to see your special gifts, your unique talents. You are energized, firing on all cylinders. These are the moments that you are expressing YOU fully.
"The best thing you can do is get good at being you!" - Denis the Menace
As an example, here is an anecdote about Krista Vernoff, Head Writer and Emmy Award nominee for the television show, "Grey's Anatomy". Even though she loved to write, Krista thought she was supposed to be an actress. She held a belief that one had a better shot at making a living as an actress than as a writer. Bar-tending was suggested to her by many well meaning relatives worried about her career choice. She got quite good as an actress and was making a living at that craft. Still, she couldn't tear herself away from writing. Writing came so easy for her that she didn't give herself much credit as a writer. "You have to work hard for a living" and she was definitely working hard to be a working actress. For Krista, being an actress was exhausting! Writing was playful, what she did for fun, what she did to feed her soul. Success as a writer was always a certainty.
One day a fellow actor in a play noticed that Krista would run to her dressing room to write whenever she wasn't needed on stage. Most actors lived to be on stage where Krista lived to be offstage where she could write. Once this fellow actor commented on this upside-down state of affairs, Krista realized that if she was going to live a fulfilled live she must acknowledge and honor who she is - a writer. At the end of the play's run, Krista devoted her life to expanding and express her raison d'etre - to write!
When you commit, give your full attention and energy to standing firmly centered in the truth of who you are, life is magical. You have fed your soul, you are whole. As a complete person, you have the inner resources to give to others whether that be through your craft or through your presence in their lives. You have the energy and desire to share you with the rest of the world. You live life on purpose, in the zone, and tapped into the passion and wisdom that is yours and yours alone. This is what you are here to do. Find a way to spend more time doing what gets you ‘in the zone’.
If you are not satisfied or fully engaged in your life you have a choice. Will you remain committed to this unfulfilling life or will you discover and commit to your raison d'etre. A fulfilled life begins when you go beyond the outer threshold of your comfort zone. The choice is yours.
"Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom & get out of their own Inner Critic way; stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within, inspire the Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
We do not live in an either/or world. We live in an "and" world. You can do both. Simply put, the reason you are here is to express your full potential using your unique qifts. You are here to tap into the intuitive driven passion that achieves the purpose of bringing forth your unique gifts out into this world - expansively. For those that feed their soul, do what makes their heart sing, work is play and each day is an opportunity to express to the world who they are, what they are here to do. Life flows seemingly effortlessly. Even with the ups and downs, twists and turns, life is fulfilling and worth the ride!
For those who live off-purpose, doing what they think they 'should' be doing, live can be exhausting and unfulfilling even if successful. Those who have turned their back on their raison d'etre feel like something is missing and will sometimes joke that they "still don't know what they want to be when they grow up" well into adulthood. If you struggle to find joy, energy and satisfaction in your work and in your life you are living off purpose. You are not living a life in alignment with who you are at your deepest core. Chances are you don't even know what your unique talents are let alone use them. The funny thing is, many people don't see what their special gift is because it comes so easily for them. They find it so easy and effortless to do what they excel at naturally that they think everyone can do it. It doesn't occur to them that this unique talent is theirs as a birthright with which to express themselves and build their life around.
"Seek the wisdom that will untie your knot, seek the path that demands your whole being." ~Rumi
There are two simple ways to get a glimpse at who you really are and what your unique gift is to share with the world:
1. Think back to when you were a child. Who did you admire or aspire to be? Was it a famous person, a character in a book or movie, a relative or teacher? Who awed you, made you stop and pay attention? Once you have identified this person, what attributes of this person impressed you? Were they brave, funny, larger than life, strong, loving, free, giving, smart? What was it about what this person or fictional character did that called out to you? List as many attributes and actions as you can.
For example, as a child I was awed by a character I saw in a movie on TV, "Auntie Mame". Auntie Mame was a woman who was eclectic, fun, fashionable, surrounded herself with wonderfully odd creative and talented people, traveled around the world and experienced fun and fascinating events in her life. She lived this rich in experience life and mentored others to do the same. Oh, how I wanted to be Auntie Mame! However, I didn't see myself then as being extroverted enough to put myself 'out there' as she did, take risks and stand up for who she is and what she believed in. As an adult, I reconnected with my truth and now live a life centered in the truth of who I am, enjoy rich delicious experiences, am surrounded by a wonderfully eclectic group of talented people and mentor others to live their lives as richly whatever that means to them.
Who you aspire to be, what speaks to your soul as a child, is a mirror of who you are. You love what you see in that person or character because it is a reflection of you! Show up in your life expressing your Inner Auntie Mame, Ninja Warrior, your hero.
2. What energizes you? Think back to a time when you were 'in the zone'. You were totally present, in the moment, doing whatever it was that you were doing, enjoying it fully without any sense of time and space. You were totally focused and bursting with creativity. These 'in the zone' experiences are windows to see your special gifts, your unique talents. You are energized, firing on all cylinders. These are the moments that you are expressing YOU fully.
"The best thing you can do is get good at being you!" - Denis the Menace
As an example, here is an anecdote about Krista Vernoff, Head Writer and Emmy Award nominee for the television show, "Grey's Anatomy". Even though she loved to write, Krista thought she was supposed to be an actress. She held a belief that one had a better shot at making a living as an actress than as a writer. Bar-tending was suggested to her by many well meaning relatives worried about her career choice. She got quite good as an actress and was making a living at that craft. Still, she couldn't tear herself away from writing. Writing came so easy for her that she didn't give herself much credit as a writer. "You have to work hard for a living" and she was definitely working hard to be a working actress. For Krista, being an actress was exhausting! Writing was playful, what she did for fun, what she did to feed her soul. Success as a writer was always a certainty.
One day a fellow actor in a play noticed that Krista would run to her dressing room to write whenever she wasn't needed on stage. Most actors lived to be on stage where Krista lived to be offstage where she could write. Once this fellow actor commented on this upside-down state of affairs, Krista realized that if she was going to live a fulfilled live she must acknowledge and honor who she is - a writer. At the end of the play's run, Krista devoted her life to expanding and express her raison d'etre - to write!
When you commit, give your full attention and energy to standing firmly centered in the truth of who you are, life is magical. You have fed your soul, you are whole. As a complete person, you have the inner resources to give to others whether that be through your craft or through your presence in their lives. You have the energy and desire to share you with the rest of the world. You live life on purpose, in the zone, and tapped into the passion and wisdom that is yours and yours alone. This is what you are here to do. Find a way to spend more time doing what gets you ‘in the zone’.
If you are not satisfied or fully engaged in your life you have a choice. Will you remain committed to this unfulfilling life or will you discover and commit to your raison d'etre. A fulfilled life begins when you go beyond the outer threshold of your comfort zone. The choice is yours.
"Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom & get out of their own Inner Critic way; stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within, inspire the Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Struggling-Anxious-Procrastinating? Stop Telling Your Inner Being to Shut Up!
How much time and energy do you spend treading the proverbial waters of the stream of creative expression and meaningful experience? How often do you ride the roller coaster of two progressive steps forward and two steps back in your efforts to expand beyond your current unfulfilling comfort zone? What do 'over the rainbow' masterfully successful people have that you don't have?
The answer is simple.
The people who awe and inspire us with their brilliant performance in any area of their life listen to, acknowledge and honor the intuitive inner guidance that knows their truth and is their birthright. You've heard this voice of wisdom before. It was that calm, knowing, gut instinct that you ignored that resulted in an experience you rather not have had.
"You, my friend, are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate impression that just because you run away you have no courage; you're confusing courage with wisdom." - The Wizard of Oz, Frank Baum
Those who continuously struggle to get ahead, express their full potential, have Found Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) to tune out the voice of their Inner Being, Higher Self, or what I playfully call the Wizard Within. Instead they listed to their Inner Critic, the egoic voice of their self-doubt and fear who works very hard to keep them safe right when they are. Even if unsatisfactory, the comfort zone is what is known and therefore safe. Anything beyond, over that rainbow, is unknown and downright scary.
To drown out the voice of the Wizard Within the Inner Critic serves up excuses and reasons to devote focus and energy to unproductive habits. Addictions to alcohol, drugs, Internet gaming or surfing, over eating, excessive shopping and chronic over sleeping are some of the ways people turn their back on what their Inner Being is calling them to become. Struggling anxious procrastinators have become experts at say no to who they are, what they are here to express, at their deepest core.
Fulfillment is experiencing the full expression of your potential. Whether it be struggles with your career, craft, relationships or finances when you allow yourself to show up in life out of alignment with your truth and purpose know that any excuse or your Inner Critic delivers is meant to keep you stuck right where you are -right where you no longer want to be.
Your Inner Being knows that you will always be safe. Your Inner Being knows that already within you is the wisdom to turn your dreams into reality, achieve your purpose in life. Your heart would not long for an experience that does not express the real you and what you are here to express. The only one stopping you from achieving that reality is you!
So you have a choice. You can tap into and empower the Wizard Within or you can remain committed to drowning yourself out, keeping yourself small. One choice leads to a life well lived, a story well told. The other leads to a life of quiet, or not so quiet, desperation. Which will you choose?
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation." - Henry David Thoreau
Valery is a Superstar Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom & get out of their own Inner Critic way; stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within, inspire the Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
The answer is simple.
The people who awe and inspire us with their brilliant performance in any area of their life listen to, acknowledge and honor the intuitive inner guidance that knows their truth and is their birthright. You've heard this voice of wisdom before. It was that calm, knowing, gut instinct that you ignored that resulted in an experience you rather not have had.
"You, my friend, are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate impression that just because you run away you have no courage; you're confusing courage with wisdom." - The Wizard of Oz, Frank Baum
Those who continuously struggle to get ahead, express their full potential, have Found Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) to tune out the voice of their Inner Being, Higher Self, or what I playfully call the Wizard Within. Instead they listed to their Inner Critic, the egoic voice of their self-doubt and fear who works very hard to keep them safe right when they are. Even if unsatisfactory, the comfort zone is what is known and therefore safe. Anything beyond, over that rainbow, is unknown and downright scary.
To drown out the voice of the Wizard Within the Inner Critic serves up excuses and reasons to devote focus and energy to unproductive habits. Addictions to alcohol, drugs, Internet gaming or surfing, over eating, excessive shopping and chronic over sleeping are some of the ways people turn their back on what their Inner Being is calling them to become. Struggling anxious procrastinators have become experts at say no to who they are, what they are here to express, at their deepest core.
Fulfillment is experiencing the full expression of your potential. Whether it be struggles with your career, craft, relationships or finances when you allow yourself to show up in life out of alignment with your truth and purpose know that any excuse or your Inner Critic delivers is meant to keep you stuck right where you are -right where you no longer want to be.
Your Inner Being knows that you will always be safe. Your Inner Being knows that already within you is the wisdom to turn your dreams into reality, achieve your purpose in life. Your heart would not long for an experience that does not express the real you and what you are here to express. The only one stopping you from achieving that reality is you!
So you have a choice. You can tap into and empower the Wizard Within or you can remain committed to drowning yourself out, keeping yourself small. One choice leads to a life well lived, a story well told. The other leads to a life of quiet, or not so quiet, desperation. Which will you choose?
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation." - Henry David Thoreau
Valery is a Superstar Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom & get out of their own Inner Critic way; stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within, inspire the Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Are Outrageous Outbursts Now an Effective PR Tool? Oh My!
"Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" - Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz
The media is filled with bizarre tales of rude and downright bizarre behavior that was once exhibited by self-loathing attention seeking narcissists and now may be used as a clever inexpensive tool for massive publicity. In the age where 'all publicity is good publicity' are high profile outbusts a result of an emotional dysfunction or a clever media attention grabbing ruse? One has to wonder.
The bad behavior we have seen fill our newspapers, Internet and television screens recently indicate that as a publicity tactic, acting out in appropriately is a very effective and economical public boost in awareness tactic. Apparently there are little or no negative consequences anymore for public displays of injury and insult to others in order to promote an egoic agenda. It seems that the more outrageous the behavior, the higher one moves up the ladder to fame and fortune.
Oh my!
Not many people ever heard of Rep. Joe Wilson before he barked "You lie!" at President Barack Obama during his televised address to the nation. Singer Kanye West's star status rose dramatically when he grabbed the microphone away from Video Music Award winner Taylor Swift to announce to the world his preference for Beyonce. Still this week, tennis great Serena Williams didn't like a call made against her by a line judge in a tennis match to she engaged in a diatribe of profanity. Again, all of these incidents were televised over and over again to the masses increasing the visibility and popularity of the individuals who committed what was once humiliating potentially career ending actions.
Those who exhibit offensive behavior then get to enjoy a media frenzy of interviews, articles and re-broadcasts of their attention grabbing moment. The offender gets to apologize on every media platform available, further increasing public awareness. Even those who never heard of these celebrity now talk about them around water coolers, dinner tables, blogs and chat rooms. Copycats seeking fame are now inspired by emotional outbursts instead of a compelling performance.
I get that I am adding to the attention by writing on this subject. What disturbs me enough to devote energy to the topic of how bad behavior has become an effective publicity stunt is that, as a deliberate PR tactic, these events have dramatically increased in frequency. At the number of incidents has increased the stardom of those who commit such public temper tantrums has risen even more dramatically. Irresponsible behavior is now rewarded. Irresponsible behavior, public attacks on other people, now results in furthering a personal agenda. What kind of life-affirming lesson is that?
"If you come to fame not understanding who you are, it will define who you are." - Oprah Winfrey
It will be interesting to see if the long-term results of such misguided behavior. The self-loathing narcissist who thinks any attention will make him feel better about himself will eventually either get that he is spiraling downward in an ocean of self-sabotage and seek more positive ways of making his star shine or he will continue to expand upon his erratic behavior until it becomes his ruination. For those who end up completely bankrupt, repeatedly in jail or dead of a drug overdose no amount of attention can fill the void, the emptiness, felt within. Those who decide to get off the roller coaster of self-defeat often awe us with stunning comebacks. Robert Downey, Jr. and Mickey Rourke are two shining examples of such an inspiring turnaround.
Those who act out as a publicity stunt will continue to behave inappropriately for attention until the media and the public tune them out or respond with our pocketbooks. If we no longer pay attention to or support those who seek to move up the ladder of fame through stomping all over other people then we send the message that we endorse positive energy and move away from negativity. How we react to such social dysfunction is our responsibility and mirrors what we value. So, it is your choice. To what behaviors will you model and devote your energy? I will tell you this, where energy and focus goes, experience flows. Be mindful of your choice. Will you speak and act at the expense of others or positively in the direction of your dreams?
"But once I acclimated and really used fame for what it was offering me as a tool to serve my life purpose of inspiring and contributing, then it started to get fun again." - Alanis Morissette
Valery is a Superstar Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom & get out of their own Inner Critic way; stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within, inspire the Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
The media is filled with bizarre tales of rude and downright bizarre behavior that was once exhibited by self-loathing attention seeking narcissists and now may be used as a clever inexpensive tool for massive publicity. In the age where 'all publicity is good publicity' are high profile outbusts a result of an emotional dysfunction or a clever media attention grabbing ruse? One has to wonder.
The bad behavior we have seen fill our newspapers, Internet and television screens recently indicate that as a publicity tactic, acting out in appropriately is a very effective and economical public boost in awareness tactic. Apparently there are little or no negative consequences anymore for public displays of injury and insult to others in order to promote an egoic agenda. It seems that the more outrageous the behavior, the higher one moves up the ladder to fame and fortune.
Oh my!
Not many people ever heard of Rep. Joe Wilson before he barked "You lie!" at President Barack Obama during his televised address to the nation. Singer Kanye West's star status rose dramatically when he grabbed the microphone away from Video Music Award winner Taylor Swift to announce to the world his preference for Beyonce. Still this week, tennis great Serena Williams didn't like a call made against her by a line judge in a tennis match to she engaged in a diatribe of profanity. Again, all of these incidents were televised over and over again to the masses increasing the visibility and popularity of the individuals who committed what was once humiliating potentially career ending actions.
Those who exhibit offensive behavior then get to enjoy a media frenzy of interviews, articles and re-broadcasts of their attention grabbing moment. The offender gets to apologize on every media platform available, further increasing public awareness. Even those who never heard of these celebrity now talk about them around water coolers, dinner tables, blogs and chat rooms. Copycats seeking fame are now inspired by emotional outbursts instead of a compelling performance.
I get that I am adding to the attention by writing on this subject. What disturbs me enough to devote energy to the topic of how bad behavior has become an effective publicity stunt is that, as a deliberate PR tactic, these events have dramatically increased in frequency. At the number of incidents has increased the stardom of those who commit such public temper tantrums has risen even more dramatically. Irresponsible behavior is now rewarded. Irresponsible behavior, public attacks on other people, now results in furthering a personal agenda. What kind of life-affirming lesson is that?
"If you come to fame not understanding who you are, it will define who you are." - Oprah Winfrey
It will be interesting to see if the long-term results of such misguided behavior. The self-loathing narcissist who thinks any attention will make him feel better about himself will eventually either get that he is spiraling downward in an ocean of self-sabotage and seek more positive ways of making his star shine or he will continue to expand upon his erratic behavior until it becomes his ruination. For those who end up completely bankrupt, repeatedly in jail or dead of a drug overdose no amount of attention can fill the void, the emptiness, felt within. Those who decide to get off the roller coaster of self-defeat often awe us with stunning comebacks. Robert Downey, Jr. and Mickey Rourke are two shining examples of such an inspiring turnaround.
Those who act out as a publicity stunt will continue to behave inappropriately for attention until the media and the public tune them out or respond with our pocketbooks. If we no longer pay attention to or support those who seek to move up the ladder of fame through stomping all over other people then we send the message that we endorse positive energy and move away from negativity. How we react to such social dysfunction is our responsibility and mirrors what we value. So, it is your choice. To what behaviors will you model and devote your energy? I will tell you this, where energy and focus goes, experience flows. Be mindful of your choice. Will you speak and act at the expense of others or positively in the direction of your dreams?
"But once I acclimated and really used fame for what it was offering me as a tool to serve my life purpose of inspiring and contributing, then it started to get fun again." - Alanis Morissette
Valery is a Superstar Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom & get out of their own Inner Critic way; stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within, inspire the Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Cowardly Lion? Tap Into the Wizard Within To Transform Fear
If you are at all familiar with the story of Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz you know that among Dorothy's fellow travelers along the yellow brick road to find the great and powerful Wizard was the Lion. The Lion wanted the Wizard to give him courage as he was afraid of nearly everything he faced in his life. Here he was the king of beasts yet he cowered and hid from any ever so slightly perceived threat to his survival. The Lion believed that if he had the gift of courage he would be able to step into his role as the almighty king and ruler of the forest, respected by all.
"If I were King of the Forest my regal robes would be satin, not cotton, not chintz. I'd command each thing, be it fish or fowl. I'd click my heels and the trees would kneel and the mountains bow and the bulls cow-tow and the sparrow would take wing. If I were king, each rabbit would show respect to me, the chipmunks genuflect to me. If I were King, just King." - The Lion in Frank Baum's "Wizard of Oz"
The Lion's self-worth and esteem was entirely wrapped up in and identified with a forceful title that would deliver respect.
The Lion believes that force commands subjugation. Force, to the lion, means the ability to threaten and prevail through physical strength and determination. Such commitment comes from having the courage to stand centered in the truth of who you are. The lion is scared to show up in his life powerfully as King of the Forest. And even as king he does not feel or act like much of a king because he lacks inner courage. When he does try to exhibit courage he resorts to threats and physical harm to others. Force is an act spawned out of fear, not power. Real power is a presence, a state of mind, that can only come from an authentic presence.
"Put 'em up, put 'em up! I'll fight ya' both together if you want. I'll fight ya' with one paw tied behind my back. I'll fight ya' standin' on one foot. I'll fight ya' with my eyes closed." - The Lion in Frank Baum's "Wizard of Oz"
Those a brave words that came from the lion who would run away with his tail between his legs if someone actually took him up on his threat. As we continue to observe the Lion throughout the story, we realize that the only thing that scares the lion is himself, an event of his own doing. He lives in fear. He Finds Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.), blames others for his shortcomings, and believes the world, the forest and everything in it, is out to get him; do him harm.
"Ow!" - the Lion
"What happened?" - the Scarecrow
"Somebody pulled my tail!" - the Lion
"You did it yourself!" - the Scarecrow
"Oh....." the Lion
- "The Wizard of Oz"
The lion does not believe he is brave or forceful enough to be a king and, therefore, must get his courage from someone else - the Wizard of Oz. People who live with "I'm not good/smart/brave/talented/rich/pretty/whatever enough" will often become shop-a-holics hoping that the next Prada bag or Ferrari purchase will give them the self-esteem they lack. After the momentary adrenaline rush after the purchase, these people quickly seek yet another status purchase to try, yet again, to feel better about themselves. There isn't a handbag or luxury car in the world that can give anyone the self-worth they lack within. Purchasing luxury items because you enjoy them is one thing. Acquiring things because you seek your identity through them is quite another experience. Shop-a-holics with low self-esteem do not enjoy or even use many of their purchases.
When the Lion finally gets an audience with the marvelous Wizard of Oz he finds out that the Wizard isn't really a wizard after all. What this simple man tells the lion is that he's always had courage within him. All he had to do is acknowledge and honor that which is his birthright. No external thing can give a person what they believe they lack within them. What you yearn for is who you are, what longs to come forth from within you. That's why you feel 'less than' when you are not expressing your full potential; who you came into the world to be, do and have.
You already have, within you, everything you need to be do and have what you want in life. All you have to do is tap into the Wizard Within, the voice of your truth and intuition. This internal resource of wisdom and personal guidance is your birthright. As your Muse, it will always guide you safely and effortlessly as you turn your dreams, your desires, into real experiences.
"You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger you have no courage. You're confusing courage with wisdom." - The Wizard in "The Wizard of Oz", Frank Baum
Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist and performer. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom to get out of their own Inner Critic way & stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within , inspire your Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
"If I were King of the Forest my regal robes would be satin, not cotton, not chintz. I'd command each thing, be it fish or fowl. I'd click my heels and the trees would kneel and the mountains bow and the bulls cow-tow and the sparrow would take wing. If I were king, each rabbit would show respect to me, the chipmunks genuflect to me. If I were King, just King." - The Lion in Frank Baum's "Wizard of Oz"
The Lion's self-worth and esteem was entirely wrapped up in and identified with a forceful title that would deliver respect.
The Lion believes that force commands subjugation. Force, to the lion, means the ability to threaten and prevail through physical strength and determination. Such commitment comes from having the courage to stand centered in the truth of who you are. The lion is scared to show up in his life powerfully as King of the Forest. And even as king he does not feel or act like much of a king because he lacks inner courage. When he does try to exhibit courage he resorts to threats and physical harm to others. Force is an act spawned out of fear, not power. Real power is a presence, a state of mind, that can only come from an authentic presence.
"Put 'em up, put 'em up! I'll fight ya' both together if you want. I'll fight ya' with one paw tied behind my back. I'll fight ya' standin' on one foot. I'll fight ya' with my eyes closed." - The Lion in Frank Baum's "Wizard of Oz"
Those a brave words that came from the lion who would run away with his tail between his legs if someone actually took him up on his threat. As we continue to observe the Lion throughout the story, we realize that the only thing that scares the lion is himself, an event of his own doing. He lives in fear. He Finds Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.), blames others for his shortcomings, and believes the world, the forest and everything in it, is out to get him; do him harm.
"Ow!" - the Lion
"What happened?" - the Scarecrow
"Somebody pulled my tail!" - the Lion
"You did it yourself!" - the Scarecrow
"Oh....." the Lion
- "The Wizard of Oz"
The lion does not believe he is brave or forceful enough to be a king and, therefore, must get his courage from someone else - the Wizard of Oz. People who live with "I'm not good/smart/brave/talented/rich/pretty/whatever enough" will often become shop-a-holics hoping that the next Prada bag or Ferrari purchase will give them the self-esteem they lack. After the momentary adrenaline rush after the purchase, these people quickly seek yet another status purchase to try, yet again, to feel better about themselves. There isn't a handbag or luxury car in the world that can give anyone the self-worth they lack within. Purchasing luxury items because you enjoy them is one thing. Acquiring things because you seek your identity through them is quite another experience. Shop-a-holics with low self-esteem do not enjoy or even use many of their purchases.
When the Lion finally gets an audience with the marvelous Wizard of Oz he finds out that the Wizard isn't really a wizard after all. What this simple man tells the lion is that he's always had courage within him. All he had to do is acknowledge and honor that which is his birthright. No external thing can give a person what they believe they lack within them. What you yearn for is who you are, what longs to come forth from within you. That's why you feel 'less than' when you are not expressing your full potential; who you came into the world to be, do and have.
You already have, within you, everything you need to be do and have what you want in life. All you have to do is tap into the Wizard Within, the voice of your truth and intuition. This internal resource of wisdom and personal guidance is your birthright. As your Muse, it will always guide you safely and effortlessly as you turn your dreams, your desires, into real experiences.
"You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger you have no courage. You're confusing courage with wisdom." - The Wizard in "The Wizard of Oz", Frank Baum
Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist and performer. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom to get out of their own Inner Critic way & stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within , inspire your Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
How Actress Courteney Cox Empowers the Wizard Within
Hardly a day goes by when I don't read or hear of some celebrity or politician publicly humiliating themselves in an unconscious act of self-sabotage. Some get up, brush themselves off, learn a few life lessons and go on to reach even higher levels of achievement. Others take a few steps back towards recovery only to rush head first into the desperate wall of self destruction again and again. It is disheartening to see someone who takes the dream that they've passionately pursued for so long and slam it hard against the wall.
Therefore, I was delighted to read the article by Kate Aurthur in last Sunday's Los Angeles Times newspaper about Courteney Cox "Courteney Cox: 'Cougar Town's' Really Normal Hollywood Star". Courteney enjoys a happy home life with her husband and daughter and actively surrounds herself with friends and activities in and outside of her work that enrich her life experience. That is the Courteney Cox of today. In the article, Courteney describes an earlier life filled with self-doubt and frustration over the fact that someone else hadn't trusted her enough to hire her for a role that would make her a success. I encourage you to find the article online and read the full text.
"I don't know how I thought all of these things were going to happen without really going for stuff. I don't know whether I didn't think I deserved it or whether I was just shy. I'm not sure." - Courteney Cox
Courteney realized that sitting, hoping and waiting for someone else to create her success for her only served to place her life experience in the hands of someone else. She discovered that in order to achieve the life of her dreams she would not only have to star in that role, she would have to mindfully write the script and direct the action. Not willing to live her life as such a victim, Courteney would have to be responsible for her life experience, stand centered and confident in the truth of who she is and what she wants in order to create the magical life she is enjoying now.
"You can live a very normal life if you don't actually look for things." - Courteney Cox
Courteney has also learned that where focus goes experience flows. She directs her attention on what she wants to bring forth, whether it be on the many homes she renovates and redecorates to the challenging roles and projects she and her husband create with their production company. Instead of regularly scanning the tabloids for gossip about herself and others she knows in the entertainment industry, Courtney devotes her time to what ignites her passion and inspires her Muse. This constant flow of positive energy has given her much of the serenity and peace that is not lost on those who know her.
"She is the most down-to-earth real human being - probably in Hollywood." - Marta Kaufffman, "Friends co-creator on Courteney Cox
Courteney continues to shape her life and expand her career with grace. Once a rebellious teen, Courtney now uses that energy to lend her support for numerous charities including "Stamp Out Violence Against Women in the Congo" and to her friends in their time of need. Sheryl Crow credits having a good friend like Courteney Cox as a force that helped her get through her recent battle with breast cancer. With her new show, "Cougar Town" premiering later this month Courtney flows knowing that she has the personal internal power to create the roles she wants to portray and the life story that is the fullest expression of her potential. I, like many, are looking forward to the next chapter.
"Now I'm much more confident. And I believe that things are exactly the way they are supposed to be." - Courteney Cox
Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist and performer. Clients learn how to express their full potential to get out of their own way & stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within , inspire your Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Therefore, I was delighted to read the article by Kate Aurthur in last Sunday's Los Angeles Times newspaper about Courteney Cox "Courteney Cox: 'Cougar Town's' Really Normal Hollywood Star". Courteney enjoys a happy home life with her husband and daughter and actively surrounds herself with friends and activities in and outside of her work that enrich her life experience. That is the Courteney Cox of today. In the article, Courteney describes an earlier life filled with self-doubt and frustration over the fact that someone else hadn't trusted her enough to hire her for a role that would make her a success. I encourage you to find the article online and read the full text.
"I don't know how I thought all of these things were going to happen without really going for stuff. I don't know whether I didn't think I deserved it or whether I was just shy. I'm not sure." - Courteney Cox
Courteney realized that sitting, hoping and waiting for someone else to create her success for her only served to place her life experience in the hands of someone else. She discovered that in order to achieve the life of her dreams she would not only have to star in that role, she would have to mindfully write the script and direct the action. Not willing to live her life as such a victim, Courteney would have to be responsible for her life experience, stand centered and confident in the truth of who she is and what she wants in order to create the magical life she is enjoying now.
"You can live a very normal life if you don't actually look for things." - Courteney Cox
Courteney has also learned that where focus goes experience flows. She directs her attention on what she wants to bring forth, whether it be on the many homes she renovates and redecorates to the challenging roles and projects she and her husband create with their production company. Instead of regularly scanning the tabloids for gossip about herself and others she knows in the entertainment industry, Courtney devotes her time to what ignites her passion and inspires her Muse. This constant flow of positive energy has given her much of the serenity and peace that is not lost on those who know her.
"She is the most down-to-earth real human being - probably in Hollywood." - Marta Kaufffman, "Friends co-creator on Courteney Cox
Courteney continues to shape her life and expand her career with grace. Once a rebellious teen, Courtney now uses that energy to lend her support for numerous charities including "Stamp Out Violence Against Women in the Congo" and to her friends in their time of need. Sheryl Crow credits having a good friend like Courteney Cox as a force that helped her get through her recent battle with breast cancer. With her new show, "Cougar Town" premiering later this month Courtney flows knowing that she has the personal internal power to create the roles she wants to portray and the life story that is the fullest expression of her potential. I, like many, are looking forward to the next chapter.
"Now I'm much more confident. And I believe that things are exactly the way they are supposed to be." - Courteney Cox
Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist and performer. Clients learn how to express their full potential to get out of their own way & stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within , inspire your Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Don't Believe Everything You Think - How To Change Misguided Thoughts
Right now, in this moment, you have everything you think you deserve. You are living the life you believe you are worthy of. Your life experience mirrors your internal self-esteem. If you have an unhealthy low self-esteem you will never enjoy the life you dream of. Even if you achieve success in the accomplishment of a desired goal you will self-sabotage until you are back at a level, a comfort zone, that reflects how you feel about yourself. If you have a healthy high self-esteem you will allow yourself to achieve and enjoy what you want and know you deserve. Even if you experience a dramatic financial loss or traumatic experience you will rebound. You will again create wealth and create newer and better experiences. It's as simple as that.
Know this: The mere fact that you are here on this Earth indicates that you are worthy whether you believe it or not. Each and every person is blessed with a unique talent, a passionate purpose, and the wisdom to express their full potential. This is your birthright. Wherever you are disconnected with who you are at your deepest core is where you will struggle. Wherever you are out of alignment with your truth and what your heart calls forth for you to become is where you will find dissatisfaction, frustration, and desperation.
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." - Henry David Thoreau
All you have to do is spend some time at the check-out lane in your local grocery story and read the headlines on the displayed tabloid magazines to see examples of celebrities who seemingly "have it all" throw it away in a self-destructive act. You shake your head in amused amazement and wonder "What was he thinking?!"
Chances are the inner thoughts of a person who crashes and burns irrationally are something like:
"I don't deserve all the good stuff that I am experiencing."
"It's only a matter of time before 'they' find out I'm not good/talented/smart enough to have what I have or do what I do."
"This (good stuff) won't last."
We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein
Self-destructive behavior doesn't have to be done on a big scale to be damaging. You self-sabotage when you say NO to who you are, No to what you want to have and do. You toss your opportunities away when you resist what will bring you closer to your aspirations. You limit yourself when you find excuses and reasons (F.E.A.R.) why you 'can't' what you 'want'.
If you're a person who realizes that you have had a roller-coaster pattern of self-sabotage you are being run by what I call your own internal Inner Critic who reminds you day in and day out of what you can and cannot do, do and do not deserve. Know, too, that this Inner Critic - the voice of your self-doubt and fear - means well but is woefully misguided. The job of the egoic Inner Critic is to keep you safe, and what will keep you safe is to stay right where you are. You may not like your current circumstance but if it's what you know, it is safe - and comfortable.
If you're a person who can't seem to get out of your own way realize that you are holding yourself back, keeping yourself safe. You've bought into the fear and self-doubt served up by your Inner Critic and your unsupportive thoughts and actions are merely attempts to justify your purchase. You've invested heavily in time and effort in these erroneous thought patterns and you're not willing to toss them out into the garbage bin where they belong. You're not going to buy into a newer, better, belief system.
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." - Henry Ford
The first step in getting and keeping more of the good experiences and less of the bad is to be willing to not believe everything you think. Stop the insanity by examining your experiences and questioning the thoughts behind the errant behavior pattern. If you fall on your butt take a look at how you slipped up. What were you thinking? If the thoughts behind the actions that ended up in a bad experience were based in self-doubt or fear shine some light upon those thoughts. Ask yourself the following questions about the thoughts you've let run you:
- Are they true, absolutely?
- How do you know?
- What evidence do you have to support this truth?
- Can you find any evidence to the contrary?
- What is holding onto this belief costing you?
- What are you getting out of holding onto this belief?
- Who would you be, what would you do, what would you have if you did not have this belief?
Instead of focusing upon that which you believe you are not, what you cannot be, do or have, turn your attention to who you are, what you have and what you have done that is positive. You'll discover that what you have achieved far surpasses what you have not. You'll realize all the good you have done for yourself and others. Create a new belief, a new perspective about who you are and what you deserve and can experience.
"Many people die with their music still in them." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Boost your self-esteem by honoring yourself and your dream. You deserve your dream, that's why you have it! Notice when your thoughts, comments and actions take you away from that dream. Mindfully think, speak and act in the direction of what makes your heart sing.
Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist and performer. Clients learn how to express their full potential to get out of their own way & stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within , inspire your Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Know this: The mere fact that you are here on this Earth indicates that you are worthy whether you believe it or not. Each and every person is blessed with a unique talent, a passionate purpose, and the wisdom to express their full potential. This is your birthright. Wherever you are disconnected with who you are at your deepest core is where you will struggle. Wherever you are out of alignment with your truth and what your heart calls forth for you to become is where you will find dissatisfaction, frustration, and desperation.
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." - Henry David Thoreau
All you have to do is spend some time at the check-out lane in your local grocery story and read the headlines on the displayed tabloid magazines to see examples of celebrities who seemingly "have it all" throw it away in a self-destructive act. You shake your head in amused amazement and wonder "What was he thinking?!"
Chances are the inner thoughts of a person who crashes and burns irrationally are something like:
"I don't deserve all the good stuff that I am experiencing."
"It's only a matter of time before 'they' find out I'm not good/talented/smart enough to have what I have or do what I do."
"This (good stuff) won't last."
We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein
Self-destructive behavior doesn't have to be done on a big scale to be damaging. You self-sabotage when you say NO to who you are, No to what you want to have and do. You toss your opportunities away when you resist what will bring you closer to your aspirations. You limit yourself when you find excuses and reasons (F.E.A.R.) why you 'can't' what you 'want'.
If you're a person who realizes that you have had a roller-coaster pattern of self-sabotage you are being run by what I call your own internal Inner Critic who reminds you day in and day out of what you can and cannot do, do and do not deserve. Know, too, that this Inner Critic - the voice of your self-doubt and fear - means well but is woefully misguided. The job of the egoic Inner Critic is to keep you safe, and what will keep you safe is to stay right where you are. You may not like your current circumstance but if it's what you know, it is safe - and comfortable.
If you're a person who can't seem to get out of your own way realize that you are holding yourself back, keeping yourself safe. You've bought into the fear and self-doubt served up by your Inner Critic and your unsupportive thoughts and actions are merely attempts to justify your purchase. You've invested heavily in time and effort in these erroneous thought patterns and you're not willing to toss them out into the garbage bin where they belong. You're not going to buy into a newer, better, belief system.
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." - Henry Ford
The first step in getting and keeping more of the good experiences and less of the bad is to be willing to not believe everything you think. Stop the insanity by examining your experiences and questioning the thoughts behind the errant behavior pattern. If you fall on your butt take a look at how you slipped up. What were you thinking? If the thoughts behind the actions that ended up in a bad experience were based in self-doubt or fear shine some light upon those thoughts. Ask yourself the following questions about the thoughts you've let run you:
- Are they true, absolutely?
- How do you know?
- What evidence do you have to support this truth?
- Can you find any evidence to the contrary?
- What is holding onto this belief costing you?
- What are you getting out of holding onto this belief?
- Who would you be, what would you do, what would you have if you did not have this belief?
Instead of focusing upon that which you believe you are not, what you cannot be, do or have, turn your attention to who you are, what you have and what you have done that is positive. You'll discover that what you have achieved far surpasses what you have not. You'll realize all the good you have done for yourself and others. Create a new belief, a new perspective about who you are and what you deserve and can experience.
"Many people die with their music still in them." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Boost your self-esteem by honoring yourself and your dream. You deserve your dream, that's why you have it! Notice when your thoughts, comments and actions take you away from that dream. Mindfully think, speak and act in the direction of what makes your heart sing.
Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist and performer. Clients learn how to express their full potential to get out of their own way & stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within , inspire your Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Develop Your Inner Actor to Get Out of Your Own Way
It's a funny thing. Actors are driven to perform, to take on roles that bring a world of imagination, fantasy and mirrored life reflections into believable existence. In order to achieve the performance of a character well told, the actor has to commit to the unknown, get out of their own way, and be in the present moment. This power of presence and authentic self-assurance in the role create the charisma that draws us to actors and the stories they tell.
"I just let the work speak for itself. An actor is not afraid to take risks; to put on different hats; to be a good guy, a bad guy, a victim, an abuser. There are all kinds of people in the world, and playing them is what acting is all about." - Kevin Bacon
Why is it, then, that so many actors forget the skills and tools they've worked hard to develop over a life-time when it comes to how they show up in their own life story? Why are so many actors insecure, in their own way and out of alignment with their own power and authenticity?
Actors are brilliant at saying YES to the authenticity of a character; saying YES to the story told, saying YES to the performance. Yet they leave this power to take risks, ability to trust their instincts, and willingness to stretch way beyond the comfort zone in their own lives. Often they hold themselves back in the choices they make or self-sabotage in a big way making tabloid headlines. They leave their personal power that is their birthright and the force that inspires them to be an actor at the door as they say NO to the life experience they dream of.
An actor in performance is able to leave the Inner Critic of self-doubt and fear behind. If an actor can disarm the Inner Critic of its power during a performance, she has the ability to disarm the very same Inner Critic in her personal life. What is it that an actor is able to do during a performance that is not being done in an unwanted life experience? The answer is simple. An actor is highly skilled in showing up in the present moment while in character and forgets to apply that same talent in life. When you show up in life in the present moment you are fully engaged, focused, unaware of time passing and 'in the zone' of intentional creativity.
You create your life experience in every moment of every day. If your thoughts, feelings and actions are based in the perceived events of the past you will continue to create similar experiences to your past. For example, if some incident in your past brings forth a belief system, a 'rule book of life' that you're not talented/good/smart/rich/pretty/young "enough" for what you want to achieve you will continue to create experiences which 'prove' that you are what you thought - not enough! Often an actor who inwardly believes that 'it's just a matter of time before they find out I'm not whatever enough' will unconsciously create drama in the form of self-destruction to justify this belief!
"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." - John Barrymore
If you spend your time in the past you miss your moment of now, the present moment. The only time you can deliberately, intentionally, create the future you desire is in the present moment. In the present moment you are awake, aware, ready and available for whatever is 'next'. You are firing on all cylinders and tapped in to your Higher Self, Inner Being or what I playfully call the Wizard Within - the voice of your intuition, truth and authenticity. This inner wisdom and guidance is your birthright. Actors know how to tap into this powerful resource in character. The presence to extend the use of that magnificent tool in their own life is the recipe for their own story well told, an authentic passionate life well lived.
"To be a good actor you have to be something like a criminal, to be willing to break the rules to strive for something new." - Nicolas Cage
Break the tired old belief system, rule book of your past. Mindfully and fully express your full potential as an authentic and intentional creative being in the present moment, fully engaged, ready and available for the Oscar winning performance that is your life.
Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist and performer. Clients learn how to express their full potential to create more passionately, profoundly, productively & profitably. Empower the Wizard Within to actualize and express your full creative potential. http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
"I just let the work speak for itself. An actor is not afraid to take risks; to put on different hats; to be a good guy, a bad guy, a victim, an abuser. There are all kinds of people in the world, and playing them is what acting is all about." - Kevin Bacon
Why is it, then, that so many actors forget the skills and tools they've worked hard to develop over a life-time when it comes to how they show up in their own life story? Why are so many actors insecure, in their own way and out of alignment with their own power and authenticity?
Actors are brilliant at saying YES to the authenticity of a character; saying YES to the story told, saying YES to the performance. Yet they leave this power to take risks, ability to trust their instincts, and willingness to stretch way beyond the comfort zone in their own lives. Often they hold themselves back in the choices they make or self-sabotage in a big way making tabloid headlines. They leave their personal power that is their birthright and the force that inspires them to be an actor at the door as they say NO to the life experience they dream of.
An actor in performance is able to leave the Inner Critic of self-doubt and fear behind. If an actor can disarm the Inner Critic of its power during a performance, she has the ability to disarm the very same Inner Critic in her personal life. What is it that an actor is able to do during a performance that is not being done in an unwanted life experience? The answer is simple. An actor is highly skilled in showing up in the present moment while in character and forgets to apply that same talent in life. When you show up in life in the present moment you are fully engaged, focused, unaware of time passing and 'in the zone' of intentional creativity.
You create your life experience in every moment of every day. If your thoughts, feelings and actions are based in the perceived events of the past you will continue to create similar experiences to your past. For example, if some incident in your past brings forth a belief system, a 'rule book of life' that you're not talented/good/smart/rich/pretty/young "enough" for what you want to achieve you will continue to create experiences which 'prove' that you are what you thought - not enough! Often an actor who inwardly believes that 'it's just a matter of time before they find out I'm not whatever enough' will unconsciously create drama in the form of self-destruction to justify this belief!
"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." - John Barrymore
If you spend your time in the past you miss your moment of now, the present moment. The only time you can deliberately, intentionally, create the future you desire is in the present moment. In the present moment you are awake, aware, ready and available for whatever is 'next'. You are firing on all cylinders and tapped in to your Higher Self, Inner Being or what I playfully call the Wizard Within - the voice of your intuition, truth and authenticity. This inner wisdom and guidance is your birthright. Actors know how to tap into this powerful resource in character. The presence to extend the use of that magnificent tool in their own life is the recipe for their own story well told, an authentic passionate life well lived.
"To be a good actor you have to be something like a criminal, to be willing to break the rules to strive for something new." - Nicolas Cage
Break the tired old belief system, rule book of your past. Mindfully and fully express your full potential as an authentic and intentional creative being in the present moment, fully engaged, ready and available for the Oscar winning performance that is your life.
Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist and performer. Clients learn how to express their full potential to create more passionately, profoundly, productively & profitably. Empower the Wizard Within to actualize and express your full creative potential. http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
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