I love Halloween. It is perhaps the most empowering holiday of the year. For fun, think of the person you admired most when you were a child. It could be Spiderman (or any other movie character - animated or not). It could be a favorite character in a book, a celebrity, a favorite Aunt or Teacher. Think back to when you were able to complete this sentence: "When I grow up I want to be _______."
Create a costume for whatever answer popped into your mind. Wear the costume on Halloween and really get into the part. Act as if you were that person. Have fun in that role.
"The thing about performance, even if it's only an illusion, is that it is a celebration of the fact that we do contain within ourselves infinite possibilities." - Daniel Day Lewis
When the evening comes to an end take off the costume. As you put the costume away think of the attributes of the person you embodied over the course of the evening. For example, if Madonna rocked your world when you were little, consider the attributes of confident, authentic, self-assured, talented, adored by many, unique, strong, comfortable in her own skin, controversial - or whatever it was about her that impressed you as a child. Whatever attributes you identify as meaningful, hold onto them as you show up expressing those attributes the next day and every day after that.
The truth is, whomever you aspired to be when you were little is a reflection of who you are. You love a reflection of you! If there are parts of you that you do not like know this is your conditioned self, your nurture not your nature. This is the egoic coping mechanism and what I playfully call the Inner Critic, that you invented to stay safe and loved in your formative years.
"People often become actresses because of something they dislike about themselves: They pretend they are someone else." - Bette Davis
Acknowledge, embrace and honor the attributes that make your heart sing and are your birthright. Show up in your life as the person you aspired to be. Soon the role won't feel like a costume as you become comfortable in your own skin!
I'd love to know who you wanted to be when you grew up! Use the comment box to tell me how you are showing up in your life today as the person you dreamed of becoming.
"Therapy? I don't need that. The roles that I choose are my therapy." - Angelina Jolie
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Stuck in WTF? How to Unstick and Flow
You've worked long and hard at developing and honing your craft. You've put your fears aside and went to audition after audition even for roles you knew you didn't have much of a chance of landing. You've struggled yet managed to keep a roof over your head and food in your belly. You even got some recognition as an "artist to watch". And just when you think you're finally in a position to finally get a break - one that will catapult you into the career and lifestyle you've longed for - the industry seems to have lost its love affair with you. With its back seemingly turned against you the powers and media that be in Hollywood is abuzz with the deafening news that:
The economy tanked! Studios have no money! The independent creative just doesn't stand a chance anymore against the big corporation! The networks are only interested in buying reality shows! It's a man's world - a woman can't get to the top in this town. Add whatever other doom and gloom statements and projections you've heard that permeate the air in this town.
WTF? Why is this happening just when you thought you had a glimmer of a chance to really make it?
And you sit there stuck in fear, worry and desperation - oh my! Every door of opportunity that was once open and inviting is now slammed shut. Helping hands that were once offered are now out of reach. Serving fries at Mickey D's is now starting to look pretty good to you.
WTF?
Have you forgotten that you know how to open a door? Have you forgotten that whatever you've already achieved in your career to date has been because you went out there and got it for yourself! You didn't let anything stand in your way then, so why are you buying into the friggin excuses and reasons everyone is serving up for their own failures? The acronym for Friggin' Excuses And Reasons is FEAR! When a person is frozen in a state of fear she will find a way to blame something or someone else on her sorry state of affairs.
"I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will." - Clint Eastwood
Know this: Any time you allow someone or something outside of yourself to control or dictate your life circumstance you become its victim. If you're stuck in victim-land it's time to take back your power by focusing upon what you can do instead of what you cannot do. Yes, times are tough and there are a lot of people who aren't making it. Fine, whatever, irrelevant. Why spend your time and energy adopting their circumstance for yourself? Instead, look at the people who are successfully going after what they want despite the woeful laments of those around them. What do these people have, what do they do that others who are stuck in the land of WTF don't do?
"When I was producing on my own, I was doing it in order to - in a very patriarchal entertainment industry, let alone planet - very much hell-bent on trying to prove to myself, if nothing else, that I could do it as a woman." - Alanis Morissette
People who continue to speak and act in the direction of their dreams empower themselves to rise above any challenge, any obstacle, that is thrown in their way. Nothing stops them in their passionate pursuit of what will make their heart sing. You will not hear these people complaining and blaming outside forces for their misgivings. They are too busy making their dreams come true.
The next time you find yourself buying into the stuck beliefs of the WTF crowd know that you have pointed yourself away from your dream. Turn yourself around by refusing to participate. Instead of focusing upon the gloom and doom news and gossip of the day, look to the actors who are landing roles, studios funding production, independents crossing the perceived corporate barriers, networks backing scripted dramas, and women in leadership positions. There is plenty of evidence to support your success out there. All you have to do is turn your focus towards that light as you allow your words, choices and actions to flow in alignment with your deepest desire.
"I believe there's an inner power that makes winners or losers. And the winners are the ones who really listen to the truth of their hearts." - Sylvester Stallone
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
The economy tanked! Studios have no money! The independent creative just doesn't stand a chance anymore against the big corporation! The networks are only interested in buying reality shows! It's a man's world - a woman can't get to the top in this town. Add whatever other doom and gloom statements and projections you've heard that permeate the air in this town.
WTF? Why is this happening just when you thought you had a glimmer of a chance to really make it?
And you sit there stuck in fear, worry and desperation - oh my! Every door of opportunity that was once open and inviting is now slammed shut. Helping hands that were once offered are now out of reach. Serving fries at Mickey D's is now starting to look pretty good to you.
WTF?
Have you forgotten that you know how to open a door? Have you forgotten that whatever you've already achieved in your career to date has been because you went out there and got it for yourself! You didn't let anything stand in your way then, so why are you buying into the friggin excuses and reasons everyone is serving up for their own failures? The acronym for Friggin' Excuses And Reasons is FEAR! When a person is frozen in a state of fear she will find a way to blame something or someone else on her sorry state of affairs.
"I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will." - Clint Eastwood
Know this: Any time you allow someone or something outside of yourself to control or dictate your life circumstance you become its victim. If you're stuck in victim-land it's time to take back your power by focusing upon what you can do instead of what you cannot do. Yes, times are tough and there are a lot of people who aren't making it. Fine, whatever, irrelevant. Why spend your time and energy adopting their circumstance for yourself? Instead, look at the people who are successfully going after what they want despite the woeful laments of those around them. What do these people have, what do they do that others who are stuck in the land of WTF don't do?
"When I was producing on my own, I was doing it in order to - in a very patriarchal entertainment industry, let alone planet - very much hell-bent on trying to prove to myself, if nothing else, that I could do it as a woman." - Alanis Morissette
People who continue to speak and act in the direction of their dreams empower themselves to rise above any challenge, any obstacle, that is thrown in their way. Nothing stops them in their passionate pursuit of what will make their heart sing. You will not hear these people complaining and blaming outside forces for their misgivings. They are too busy making their dreams come true.
The next time you find yourself buying into the stuck beliefs of the WTF crowd know that you have pointed yourself away from your dream. Turn yourself around by refusing to participate. Instead of focusing upon the gloom and doom news and gossip of the day, look to the actors who are landing roles, studios funding production, independents crossing the perceived corporate barriers, networks backing scripted dramas, and women in leadership positions. There is plenty of evidence to support your success out there. All you have to do is turn your focus towards that light as you allow your words, choices and actions to flow in alignment with your deepest desire.
"I believe there's an inner power that makes winners or losers. And the winners are the ones who really listen to the truth of their hearts." - Sylvester Stallone
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Actress Emily Blunt - A Power of Intention Wizard
Actress Emily Blunt walked into her audition and firmly announced "I'm here to play Queen Victoria and I'm not leaving until you give me the job". She then focused and commanded every scrap of energy and talent within her to deliver her best performance possible and did not leave that audition until she was awarded the role.
That, my friends, is the power of intention and a shining example of the secret to superstar success. Know what you want and put every part of your being - your thoughts, feelings, choices and actions into alignment with that desire. Speak and act in the direction of your dreams. Let no one and no thing stand between you and that which will make your heart sing.
The common denominator between those who do not make it or those who have achieved some success but can't reach the next rung on the ladder of achievement and those who rise above the competition to reach superstar success is a self-focused commitment to a burning desire. A self-focused energy is not about stomping over everyone else to get what you want. It is about acknowledging and honoring who you are and what you want and allowing yourself to have that.
"I love more than anything looking at a movie scene by scene and seeing the intention behind it." - Jodie Foster
Allow the child within your heart, what I playfully call the Wizard Within, to rise above. In your heart of hearts, you know what you long to do. However, the child within your head, what is called the Inner Critic, will hold you back by Finding Excuses And Reasons why you can't have what you want, why you can't do what you want to do and be who you want to be. The acronym for Finding Excuses And Reasons is FEAR. And when you're in fear you turn your back on yourself and retreat, often by taking a path of least resistance.
“Fear is the enemy of logic. There is no more debilitating, crushing, self-defeating, sickening thing in the world--to an individual or to a nation.” - Frank Sinatra
It takes chutzpah to walk into an audition and declare a leading role as yours. What's the worse that could happen? If you don't get the part you're no worse off than you were when you walked into the audition. Any thoughts of failure by not landing the role and what that means for you is stuff you just made up. Doesn't make it true. There will always be another role, another opportunity - unless you get in your own way through fear. What's the best that could happen? You get what you want!
In order to get what you want you have to first know what you want. Then focus all of your thoughts and actions in a way that will support getting it. That self-focus is the first, and essential, intentional step required for superstar success. With each succeeding step you take as you move closer and closer to your goal continue to focus in that direction with the same power of intention. You'll begin to marvel at how your life experience shifts from struggle to seemingly effortless flow as you fully invest yourself in your creative endeavors.
"Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person." - Albert Einstein
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them on tabloid covers! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
That, my friends, is the power of intention and a shining example of the secret to superstar success. Know what you want and put every part of your being - your thoughts, feelings, choices and actions into alignment with that desire. Speak and act in the direction of your dreams. Let no one and no thing stand between you and that which will make your heart sing.
The common denominator between those who do not make it or those who have achieved some success but can't reach the next rung on the ladder of achievement and those who rise above the competition to reach superstar success is a self-focused commitment to a burning desire. A self-focused energy is not about stomping over everyone else to get what you want. It is about acknowledging and honoring who you are and what you want and allowing yourself to have that.
"I love more than anything looking at a movie scene by scene and seeing the intention behind it." - Jodie Foster
Allow the child within your heart, what I playfully call the Wizard Within, to rise above. In your heart of hearts, you know what you long to do. However, the child within your head, what is called the Inner Critic, will hold you back by Finding Excuses And Reasons why you can't have what you want, why you can't do what you want to do and be who you want to be. The acronym for Finding Excuses And Reasons is FEAR. And when you're in fear you turn your back on yourself and retreat, often by taking a path of least resistance.
“Fear is the enemy of logic. There is no more debilitating, crushing, self-defeating, sickening thing in the world--to an individual or to a nation.” - Frank Sinatra
It takes chutzpah to walk into an audition and declare a leading role as yours. What's the worse that could happen? If you don't get the part you're no worse off than you were when you walked into the audition. Any thoughts of failure by not landing the role and what that means for you is stuff you just made up. Doesn't make it true. There will always be another role, another opportunity - unless you get in your own way through fear. What's the best that could happen? You get what you want!
In order to get what you want you have to first know what you want. Then focus all of your thoughts and actions in a way that will support getting it. That self-focus is the first, and essential, intentional step required for superstar success. With each succeeding step you take as you move closer and closer to your goal continue to focus in that direction with the same power of intention. You'll begin to marvel at how your life experience shifts from struggle to seemingly effortless flow as you fully invest yourself in your creative endeavors.
"Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person." - Albert Einstein
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them on tabloid covers! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Tap Into Creative Flow Through Humor
Childhood is often referred to as a carefree and playful time enjoyed without a thought of responsibility. However, a more accurate look at the average youth experience reveals that children experience quite a bit of emotional and sometimes physical pain. Many children who live such a stressful childhood reach for humor as a coping mechanism.
A group of researchers at Texas A&M found that humor can significantly increase hope and that hopefulness helps people cope with stresses in daily life including illness. At professor at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY demonstrated in a medical setting that humor helps both patients and physicians cope. It is true, laughter is often the best medicine.
"Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on." - Bob Newhart
Many people who have had painful childhoods became masters at humor. Watch most any James Lipton interview with an actor on Bravo's "Inside The Actors Studio" and you will recognize the common thread of talented actors who have turned to their craft to cope with a difficult childhood. It is frequently assumed that comics and comedians used humor to deal with stressful childhood environments, particularly with parental conflict or a distant mother.
"Nobody became an actor because he had a good childhood." - William H. Macy
Rodney Dangerfield, was one of the funniest comics and actors who was raised by his mother. Growing up with a painful childhood found escape through humor. As a child, comedian George Lopez never felt like it was great to be part of a family. When first performed, at age 18, he made the audience roar with laughter. He felt like he was flying. It was the first time he ever felt complete acceptance and love.
Jim Carrey knew hardship as a child. His mother was often ill and Jim spent many hours near her bedside spontaneously performing funny routines to make her laugh, make her feel better. Chris Rock based his show "Everybody Hates Chris" on his painful childhood memories growing up as the only black student in an all-white school in New York City. After comedian and talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres' parents divorced she helped her mother cope with depression by making her laugh. A surprising number of comics have such faced hardships as children, yet managed to find their personal salvation through laughter. They continue to cope with childhood memories, and provide our entertainment, by making us laugh. Often this laughter helps us cope with our own painful memories.
"I found I could make her happy, and she wouldn't be crying anymore," When you're a kid you don't usually have that kind of control over your parent, but I could change her emotion, and that was amazing." - Ellen De Generes
"Life can be a bummer -- full of hurt and pain and sadness. It's part of it, and important to put it in perspective. Have a sense of humor as much as you can." - Ellen DeGeneres
We express laughter through the body, through emotions and with our spirit. Laughter evokes an internal flowing that is life-affirming. A hearty guffaw can improve blood flow, according to a study from the University Maryland. When you enjoy a good laugh, your body relaxes and triggers endorphins that promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain. Laughing also helps to break down stress hormones and build up hormones associated with happiness.
So if you're having a day when your frustrated, stressed out, anxious or just plain stuck, watch a few funny YouTube videos, go to a Comedy Club or spend some time with people and things that make you laugh! Get your blood flowing, your heart beating and step back into the rhythm and flow that is the essence of the playful creative spirit.
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. - Bill Cosby
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them on TMZ! Empower the Wizard Within, http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
A group of researchers at Texas A&M found that humor can significantly increase hope and that hopefulness helps people cope with stresses in daily life including illness. At professor at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY demonstrated in a medical setting that humor helps both patients and physicians cope. It is true, laughter is often the best medicine.
"Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on." - Bob Newhart
Many people who have had painful childhoods became masters at humor. Watch most any James Lipton interview with an actor on Bravo's "Inside The Actors Studio" and you will recognize the common thread of talented actors who have turned to their craft to cope with a difficult childhood. It is frequently assumed that comics and comedians used humor to deal with stressful childhood environments, particularly with parental conflict or a distant mother.
"Nobody became an actor because he had a good childhood." - William H. Macy
Rodney Dangerfield, was one of the funniest comics and actors who was raised by his mother. Growing up with a painful childhood found escape through humor. As a child, comedian George Lopez never felt like it was great to be part of a family. When first performed, at age 18, he made the audience roar with laughter. He felt like he was flying. It was the first time he ever felt complete acceptance and love.
Jim Carrey knew hardship as a child. His mother was often ill and Jim spent many hours near her bedside spontaneously performing funny routines to make her laugh, make her feel better. Chris Rock based his show "Everybody Hates Chris" on his painful childhood memories growing up as the only black student in an all-white school in New York City. After comedian and talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres' parents divorced she helped her mother cope with depression by making her laugh. A surprising number of comics have such faced hardships as children, yet managed to find their personal salvation through laughter. They continue to cope with childhood memories, and provide our entertainment, by making us laugh. Often this laughter helps us cope with our own painful memories.
"I found I could make her happy, and she wouldn't be crying anymore," When you're a kid you don't usually have that kind of control over your parent, but I could change her emotion, and that was amazing." - Ellen De Generes
"Life can be a bummer -- full of hurt and pain and sadness. It's part of it, and important to put it in perspective. Have a sense of humor as much as you can." - Ellen DeGeneres
We express laughter through the body, through emotions and with our spirit. Laughter evokes an internal flowing that is life-affirming. A hearty guffaw can improve blood flow, according to a study from the University Maryland. When you enjoy a good laugh, your body relaxes and triggers endorphins that promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain. Laughing also helps to break down stress hormones and build up hormones associated with happiness.
So if you're having a day when your frustrated, stressed out, anxious or just plain stuck, watch a few funny YouTube videos, go to a Comedy Club or spend some time with people and things that make you laugh! Get your blood flowing, your heart beating and step back into the rhythm and flow that is the essence of the playful creative spirit.
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. - Bill Cosby
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them on TMZ! Empower the Wizard Within, http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
How Risk Unleashes Creative Expression: Successful Actors Give Life Lessons
What is risk and why is it something to be feared, to be avoided?
To risk is to be exposed to the possibility of a loss or harm. To be risk adverse is to say to yourself, "If I do this thing I might lose something I value or something bad could happen to me. Better to stay right where I am or take a safe route, follow the path of least resistance." Remaining stagnant sucks the life energy out of the creative person. To churn out safe, predictable work that will elicit familiar and expected responses is unfulfilling to an artist, a creative person in any endeavor, who yearns to express his or her full potential.
"The thing is doing it, that's what it's all about. Not in the results of it. After all what is a risk? It's a risk not to take risks. Otherwise, you can go stale and repeat yourself. I don't feel like a person who takes risks. Yet there's something within me that must provoke controversy because I find it wherever I go. Anybody who cares about what he does takes risks." - Al Pacino
Risk involves opening yourself, being vulnerable, to change and growth. To risk is to stand centered in the truth of who you are, what you wish to express as your life purpose using the full potential of your unique gifts that are your birthright. To risk is to have ability to ignore your need for other's approval in order to take the most appropriate action for you to achieve that expression.
It is often this loss of approval that people fear most. They would rather remain small, locked in by the chains of conformity to the expectations of others, than shine the light on what their heart is yearning to express. But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing.
If as a baby you chose not to risk falling you never would have walked. You risked appearing the fool by laughing at what tickled your funny bone. You loved another person by risking losing that love. You expose your feelings and expose your self to criticism and rejection. You grew and evolved. Where you struggle is where you have held back your authentic expression.
Actors learned how to tap into their own inner power and wisdom to take risks, go beyond the comfort zone of safety and expose themselves to criticism, loss of favor among the public and their peers in order to expose the range of emotions and feelings that will bring truth to the character, their role. One cannot express truth without risk. To withhold truth is to show up inauthentically in your life.
"I completely take on the risk, the poker game, which being an artist means, and I'm going to try to make a film which honestly reflects what I have in my head." - Antonio Banderas
To remain safe, people will Find Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) not to take a risk. These fears will be rooted in the following egoic needs:
1. Approval
2. To avoid guilt
3. To be right
4. To avoid conflict
5. To avoid responsibility
6. To avoid failure
7. Certainty
8. Expectations to be met
9. To remain safe in status quo, negative or positive.
10. To affirm self-identifying beliefs, negative or positive.
"Actors are trusting souls, and we must go by gut-level instinct, even after our agents and business managers weigh all the odds." -Anne Archer
Some people forget that to risk is to also open up the possibility of a favorable outcome. Risks based in inspiration will always have a favorable outcome even if that outcome isn't realized immediately. A failure can lead to new knowledge, a new awareness, that will create unprecedented success at a later date. Risk, or an aversion to risk, base upon fear will always have a negative outcome. Not venturing into the unknown will limit the discovery of new ideas, new approaches, new perspective. To be creative is to actively think non-linearly and to let go of expectations while being open to new possibilities.
"Its fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances, when you're not safe, when you're not in the middle of the road, at least for me, anyway." - Danny DeVito
Only a person who risks is free. Taking risks grounded in what comes from the heart rather than the egoic mind sets the creative person free to explore beyond the boundaries of what is already known. To the inspired risk-taker there are no limitations, no boundaries on what can be expressed, brought forth unto experience. Anything is possible.
"I'm a firm believer in taking risks in life, because you`ll never get anywhere unless you do, and the more risk involved the greater the outcome - or the worse, but you never know so you've got to go for it." - Famke Janssen
Learning to see differently, learning how to reach for a new perspective, is the spark that ignites the creative spirit. The willingness to look through a new and different lens requires removing the rose colored glasses of safety. Allow yourself to break free of the chains of limitations imposed upon you by others and by yourself through your own fearful Inner Critic who works hard to keep you safe, right where you are now. Be willing to move beyond the convention and conformity of those who hold themselves and try to hold you back from moving beyond the here and now and what has always been. Honor your authenticity, trust your intuition.
"I've always taken risks, and never worried what the world might really think of me." - Cher
When you live life and approach your work inspired by your truth you will always be safe. You will always be fulfilled by this alignment with what you are here to express and your purpose in life. You will effortlessly invest yourself in your creative potential and enjoy the ride, the thrill of a lifetime.
"Risk is really an essential part of being a creative person." - Kevin Bacon
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them on TMZ! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
To risk is to be exposed to the possibility of a loss or harm. To be risk adverse is to say to yourself, "If I do this thing I might lose something I value or something bad could happen to me. Better to stay right where I am or take a safe route, follow the path of least resistance." Remaining stagnant sucks the life energy out of the creative person. To churn out safe, predictable work that will elicit familiar and expected responses is unfulfilling to an artist, a creative person in any endeavor, who yearns to express his or her full potential.
"The thing is doing it, that's what it's all about. Not in the results of it. After all what is a risk? It's a risk not to take risks. Otherwise, you can go stale and repeat yourself. I don't feel like a person who takes risks. Yet there's something within me that must provoke controversy because I find it wherever I go. Anybody who cares about what he does takes risks." - Al Pacino
Risk involves opening yourself, being vulnerable, to change and growth. To risk is to stand centered in the truth of who you are, what you wish to express as your life purpose using the full potential of your unique gifts that are your birthright. To risk is to have ability to ignore your need for other's approval in order to take the most appropriate action for you to achieve that expression.
It is often this loss of approval that people fear most. They would rather remain small, locked in by the chains of conformity to the expectations of others, than shine the light on what their heart is yearning to express. But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing.
If as a baby you chose not to risk falling you never would have walked. You risked appearing the fool by laughing at what tickled your funny bone. You loved another person by risking losing that love. You expose your feelings and expose your self to criticism and rejection. You grew and evolved. Where you struggle is where you have held back your authentic expression.
Actors learned how to tap into their own inner power and wisdom to take risks, go beyond the comfort zone of safety and expose themselves to criticism, loss of favor among the public and their peers in order to expose the range of emotions and feelings that will bring truth to the character, their role. One cannot express truth without risk. To withhold truth is to show up inauthentically in your life.
"I completely take on the risk, the poker game, which being an artist means, and I'm going to try to make a film which honestly reflects what I have in my head." - Antonio Banderas
To remain safe, people will Find Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) not to take a risk. These fears will be rooted in the following egoic needs:
1. Approval
2. To avoid guilt
3. To be right
4. To avoid conflict
5. To avoid responsibility
6. To avoid failure
7. Certainty
8. Expectations to be met
9. To remain safe in status quo, negative or positive.
10. To affirm self-identifying beliefs, negative or positive.
"Actors are trusting souls, and we must go by gut-level instinct, even after our agents and business managers weigh all the odds." -Anne Archer
Some people forget that to risk is to also open up the possibility of a favorable outcome. Risks based in inspiration will always have a favorable outcome even if that outcome isn't realized immediately. A failure can lead to new knowledge, a new awareness, that will create unprecedented success at a later date. Risk, or an aversion to risk, base upon fear will always have a negative outcome. Not venturing into the unknown will limit the discovery of new ideas, new approaches, new perspective. To be creative is to actively think non-linearly and to let go of expectations while being open to new possibilities.
"Its fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances, when you're not safe, when you're not in the middle of the road, at least for me, anyway." - Danny DeVito
Only a person who risks is free. Taking risks grounded in what comes from the heart rather than the egoic mind sets the creative person free to explore beyond the boundaries of what is already known. To the inspired risk-taker there are no limitations, no boundaries on what can be expressed, brought forth unto experience. Anything is possible.
"I'm a firm believer in taking risks in life, because you`ll never get anywhere unless you do, and the more risk involved the greater the outcome - or the worse, but you never know so you've got to go for it." - Famke Janssen
Learning to see differently, learning how to reach for a new perspective, is the spark that ignites the creative spirit. The willingness to look through a new and different lens requires removing the rose colored glasses of safety. Allow yourself to break free of the chains of limitations imposed upon you by others and by yourself through your own fearful Inner Critic who works hard to keep you safe, right where you are now. Be willing to move beyond the convention and conformity of those who hold themselves and try to hold you back from moving beyond the here and now and what has always been. Honor your authenticity, trust your intuition.
"I've always taken risks, and never worried what the world might really think of me." - Cher
When you live life and approach your work inspired by your truth you will always be safe. You will always be fulfilled by this alignment with what you are here to express and your purpose in life. You will effortlessly invest yourself in your creative potential and enjoy the ride, the thrill of a lifetime.
"Risk is really an essential part of being a creative person." - Kevin Bacon
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them on TMZ! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Where Emotional Fear Comes From And How to Move Beyond It
Fear.
Fear is THE source that holds you back, how you get in your own way, from fully and successfully investing yourself in your creative endeavors. You may have found excuses and reasons that are external to you to explain why you can't do what you want to do, have what you want to have and do what you want to do. It's the economy, the glass ceiling, the proverbial boys club. You "can't because" you're not young, old, pretty, smart, rich, savvy, talented, connected, whatever - enough.
Balderdash. The acronym for these Found Excuses And Reasons is FEAR. So, where does this fear come from?
I am not talking about the natural fear of a real danger such as a fire or any other real life threatening situation. Those occurrences are normal. In real danger, the body naturally prepares itself for a fight or flight response. All fear is an uncomfortable strong emotion evoked as a response to an awareness of a perceived danger. Unrealistic fear is rooted in an individual when he or she recalls past fears or events and projecting them into a current situation. This type of emotional fear is often how people cope with conflict. What is feared is voiced by the Inner Critic within who misguidedly holds you back to keep you safe. The thing is, you are in no real danger. The perceived threat is imaginary, not real.
“If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big they are. And then you'll go, 'Well I see. That's like bein' frightened of a hampster." - Craig Ferguson, Actor, Comedian, Talk Show Host
Irrational emotional fear is a response to a perceived threat to your security, safety or survival. Fear manifests in feelings of anxiety, nervousness, procrastination, insecurity, lack of confidence, worry, shyness, stress, panic or terror. People fear pain and suffering of any kind. Death, conflict, failure, humiliation, the unknown, invalidation, and exploitation are some of the many fears people hold. Fear impacts physically and mentally. It influences your thinking and actions. Reacting to and acting on irrational fear is akin to yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theater when there is no fire. You miss the movie and piss off a lot of other people.
Much of what is unrealistically feared developed before the age of six. You came into this world fearless and bathed in love and attention as an infant. Every little move you made was notice, acknowledged, honored and applauded. As you got older - not so much. Your first step was celebrated but not your hundredth. Instead of all your demands being met you began to hear the word no. What happened? How and when did you begin to lose the love and acknowledgement that was once abundantly given to you? Perceived loss of loved is often the first fear that develops in a young person.
Parents, teachers and other influencers projected their own fears onto you and, as a young naive student of the world, you never questioned what you were told. Often, you misinterpreted what you were told or what you saw and heard. "Don't talk to strangers" could have been interpreted as "People you don't know will hurt you" and now you have a fear of speaking in front of or being with a lot of people you don't know. A belief in "No one likes a fool" can turn into a fear of doing anything that might embarrass or humiliate you. People with this fear have difficulty communicating freely with others of exposing what they believe to be weaknesses. Many will avoid building professional and personal relationships in fear of being exploited. A parent's casual comment of "money begets evil" will work against a person if they fear that if they become wealthy they will also become evil.
Fear is a coping mechanism to keep you safe and comfortable. And what is safe and comfortable to you is right where you are now. You may not particularly like your current circumstance but its what you know and so it is safe. Stretching, growing, moving beyond this zone into the unknown area of greater achievement in any area of your life is downright scary to that Inner Critic who works very had to keep you safe. Any move you make that will take you out of this zone of comfort will be fought against by the voice of this inner six year old who is still very frightened.
Ok, that's where fear comes from. How does one move beyond it?
It's not as hard as you might think. First and foremost, be mindful of your emotions. Your emotions are indicators of how you feel. If you notice feelings such as physical and mental tension, a knot in the stomach, stress, anxiety, restlessness, heart palpitations, lack of initiative, low self-esteem, indignation and resignation know that you have moved into fear. In that moment examine the event that triggered the emotion. Events in and of themselves do not create stress and other fear-based emotions. What triggers the emotional response is the meaning, the interpretation, you give to that event.
For example, someone who agonizes, worries, feels sick, etc. before a presentation or meeting that could advance their career may have made the event mean that their career will be ruined forever if the outcome doesn't happen as hoped. This person may think that they will be criticized, laughed out of the room and end up starving, begging for food, on the streets of Los Angeles. Whatever is going through the mind of someone in fear needs to be identified and examined for its validity. Is what is feared, real?
Fear is faith that it won't work out. Yes, it is within the realm of possibility that someone could ruin their career with some unimaginable and freakish display of behavior during a meeting. Is it likely that the person who is in a state of fear and anxiety over the meeting will behave in this manner? No. Even if they did turn their career into a train wreck is it life threatening? No. So, consider what really would happen if the presentation did not go well? Does that outcome create actual pain and suffering? No. Whatever pain and suffering that may occur after a dismal presentation is brought upon a person by themselves - again through the meaning they have attached to the undesired outcome. Who knows, the crash and burn of one career opportunity may open the door to a career move the results in unprecedented success!
"I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me." - Erica Jong
In the examination of what is feared it is also beneficial to consider what would happen if the event went as desired or even beyond expectations? What would you have, who would you be, what could you do? Feel the emotions that come with that desirable vision. Feels good, doesn't it. Good feelings are not fear based. It is when you feel bad that you are likely in a state of fear. Notice, too, whether or not there is any trigger or anxiety over your vision of a good outcome. Look for meanings you have placed on the positive outcome.
For example, some people fear success because they believe that it only a matter of time before others discover that they are not good, talented, worthy, whatever enough to have such success. Or, a successful person may fear they won't be able to maintain this level of success and will be ridiculed when they fall back a rung or two or ten down the ladder of achievement.
Is the fear universal? In the above example, can you think of anyone who blew an opportunity big time and went on to enjoy a successful career? There are plenty of examples. All you have to do is read the entertainment tabloids to read tales of those such as Robert Downey, Jr., Mickey Rourke, who behaved really badly and later went on to create masterful performances that catapulted them back into award winning stardom. You will be able to find similar examples in any industry.
You are not the sum of your fears. You are not whatever you think you lack or are not enough of. Those thoughts and feelings embody the Inner Critic part of you, the ego, the voice of your self-doubt and fear. You are not the sum of your strengths. You are not just what you are passionate about and whatever you know you're really good at. Those thoughts and feelings embody your Higher Self, or what I playfully call the Wizard Within, the voice of your intuition and truth. You are all of those things integrated into a whole. And your first responsibility in this life is to honor, acknowledge and unconditionally love your self as the integrated whole.
The shift is in what parts of you do you give your power to. If you let the egoic part of you choose how to react to the events of your life then you become a victim to it. If you hold your power within your Higher Self you will listen to that calm, wise part of you that observes and examines your emotions and initial reactions and chooses to act in alignment with your higher values and greater good.
The bottom line is that whatever holds you back from the life experience you desire and do not have is rooted in egoic fear. That's ok. It is natural to react to fear. Just examine your fears, identify whether they are real or imaginary. If they are real, run! If they are imaginary, instead of the knee jerk response of "eFF Everything And Run (FEAR)" remove the scary trigger by taking a deep breath and taking one baby step in the direction of your fear. Instead of looking at what you fear as something to avoid, see it as an opportunity, perhaps an adventure. And take another baby step. Before you know it you will have moved beyond your fear to discover that what you feared is what your heart was calling you to become.
It's the heart afraid of dying, that never learns to dance;
It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance;
It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give;
And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live.
- Bette Midler “The Rose"
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power authentically so that they can get out of their own way and successfully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out the kind of self-destructive behavior that can land them on TMZ.com. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips!
Fear is THE source that holds you back, how you get in your own way, from fully and successfully investing yourself in your creative endeavors. You may have found excuses and reasons that are external to you to explain why you can't do what you want to do, have what you want to have and do what you want to do. It's the economy, the glass ceiling, the proverbial boys club. You "can't because" you're not young, old, pretty, smart, rich, savvy, talented, connected, whatever - enough.
Balderdash. The acronym for these Found Excuses And Reasons is FEAR. So, where does this fear come from?
I am not talking about the natural fear of a real danger such as a fire or any other real life threatening situation. Those occurrences are normal. In real danger, the body naturally prepares itself for a fight or flight response. All fear is an uncomfortable strong emotion evoked as a response to an awareness of a perceived danger. Unrealistic fear is rooted in an individual when he or she recalls past fears or events and projecting them into a current situation. This type of emotional fear is often how people cope with conflict. What is feared is voiced by the Inner Critic within who misguidedly holds you back to keep you safe. The thing is, you are in no real danger. The perceived threat is imaginary, not real.
“If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big they are. And then you'll go, 'Well I see. That's like bein' frightened of a hampster." - Craig Ferguson, Actor, Comedian, Talk Show Host
Irrational emotional fear is a response to a perceived threat to your security, safety or survival. Fear manifests in feelings of anxiety, nervousness, procrastination, insecurity, lack of confidence, worry, shyness, stress, panic or terror. People fear pain and suffering of any kind. Death, conflict, failure, humiliation, the unknown, invalidation, and exploitation are some of the many fears people hold. Fear impacts physically and mentally. It influences your thinking and actions. Reacting to and acting on irrational fear is akin to yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theater when there is no fire. You miss the movie and piss off a lot of other people.
Much of what is unrealistically feared developed before the age of six. You came into this world fearless and bathed in love and attention as an infant. Every little move you made was notice, acknowledged, honored and applauded. As you got older - not so much. Your first step was celebrated but not your hundredth. Instead of all your demands being met you began to hear the word no. What happened? How and when did you begin to lose the love and acknowledgement that was once abundantly given to you? Perceived loss of loved is often the first fear that develops in a young person.
Parents, teachers and other influencers projected their own fears onto you and, as a young naive student of the world, you never questioned what you were told. Often, you misinterpreted what you were told or what you saw and heard. "Don't talk to strangers" could have been interpreted as "People you don't know will hurt you" and now you have a fear of speaking in front of or being with a lot of people you don't know. A belief in "No one likes a fool" can turn into a fear of doing anything that might embarrass or humiliate you. People with this fear have difficulty communicating freely with others of exposing what they believe to be weaknesses. Many will avoid building professional and personal relationships in fear of being exploited. A parent's casual comment of "money begets evil" will work against a person if they fear that if they become wealthy they will also become evil.
Fear is a coping mechanism to keep you safe and comfortable. And what is safe and comfortable to you is right where you are now. You may not particularly like your current circumstance but its what you know and so it is safe. Stretching, growing, moving beyond this zone into the unknown area of greater achievement in any area of your life is downright scary to that Inner Critic who works very had to keep you safe. Any move you make that will take you out of this zone of comfort will be fought against by the voice of this inner six year old who is still very frightened.
Ok, that's where fear comes from. How does one move beyond it?
It's not as hard as you might think. First and foremost, be mindful of your emotions. Your emotions are indicators of how you feel. If you notice feelings such as physical and mental tension, a knot in the stomach, stress, anxiety, restlessness, heart palpitations, lack of initiative, low self-esteem, indignation and resignation know that you have moved into fear. In that moment examine the event that triggered the emotion. Events in and of themselves do not create stress and other fear-based emotions. What triggers the emotional response is the meaning, the interpretation, you give to that event.
For example, someone who agonizes, worries, feels sick, etc. before a presentation or meeting that could advance their career may have made the event mean that their career will be ruined forever if the outcome doesn't happen as hoped. This person may think that they will be criticized, laughed out of the room and end up starving, begging for food, on the streets of Los Angeles. Whatever is going through the mind of someone in fear needs to be identified and examined for its validity. Is what is feared, real?
Fear is faith that it won't work out. Yes, it is within the realm of possibility that someone could ruin their career with some unimaginable and freakish display of behavior during a meeting. Is it likely that the person who is in a state of fear and anxiety over the meeting will behave in this manner? No. Even if they did turn their career into a train wreck is it life threatening? No. So, consider what really would happen if the presentation did not go well? Does that outcome create actual pain and suffering? No. Whatever pain and suffering that may occur after a dismal presentation is brought upon a person by themselves - again through the meaning they have attached to the undesired outcome. Who knows, the crash and burn of one career opportunity may open the door to a career move the results in unprecedented success!
"I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me." - Erica Jong
In the examination of what is feared it is also beneficial to consider what would happen if the event went as desired or even beyond expectations? What would you have, who would you be, what could you do? Feel the emotions that come with that desirable vision. Feels good, doesn't it. Good feelings are not fear based. It is when you feel bad that you are likely in a state of fear. Notice, too, whether or not there is any trigger or anxiety over your vision of a good outcome. Look for meanings you have placed on the positive outcome.
For example, some people fear success because they believe that it only a matter of time before others discover that they are not good, talented, worthy, whatever enough to have such success. Or, a successful person may fear they won't be able to maintain this level of success and will be ridiculed when they fall back a rung or two or ten down the ladder of achievement.
Is the fear universal? In the above example, can you think of anyone who blew an opportunity big time and went on to enjoy a successful career? There are plenty of examples. All you have to do is read the entertainment tabloids to read tales of those such as Robert Downey, Jr., Mickey Rourke, who behaved really badly and later went on to create masterful performances that catapulted them back into award winning stardom. You will be able to find similar examples in any industry.
You are not the sum of your fears. You are not whatever you think you lack or are not enough of. Those thoughts and feelings embody the Inner Critic part of you, the ego, the voice of your self-doubt and fear. You are not the sum of your strengths. You are not just what you are passionate about and whatever you know you're really good at. Those thoughts and feelings embody your Higher Self, or what I playfully call the Wizard Within, the voice of your intuition and truth. You are all of those things integrated into a whole. And your first responsibility in this life is to honor, acknowledge and unconditionally love your self as the integrated whole.
The shift is in what parts of you do you give your power to. If you let the egoic part of you choose how to react to the events of your life then you become a victim to it. If you hold your power within your Higher Self you will listen to that calm, wise part of you that observes and examines your emotions and initial reactions and chooses to act in alignment with your higher values and greater good.
The bottom line is that whatever holds you back from the life experience you desire and do not have is rooted in egoic fear. That's ok. It is natural to react to fear. Just examine your fears, identify whether they are real or imaginary. If they are real, run! If they are imaginary, instead of the knee jerk response of "eFF Everything And Run (FEAR)" remove the scary trigger by taking a deep breath and taking one baby step in the direction of your fear. Instead of looking at what you fear as something to avoid, see it as an opportunity, perhaps an adventure. And take another baby step. Before you know it you will have moved beyond your fear to discover that what you feared is what your heart was calling you to become.
It's the heart afraid of dying, that never learns to dance;
It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance;
It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give;
And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live.
- Bette Midler “The Rose"
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power authentically so that they can get out of their own way and successfully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out the kind of self-destructive behavior that can land them on TMZ.com. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Twitter Fights - A New Medium for Celebrity Self-Sabotage
HA!
That's often my first reaction when I open up the daily Calendar Section in the Los Angeles Times in the wee dark hours of each morning. This Monday morning's edition was no exception. Matea Gold reports that celebrities are taking their egoist rants about each other to the public stage and often rue the day they ever discovered Twitter. No longer do we need the paparazzi to hide in the bushes hoping to get a shot of celebrity self-sabotage. Superstars and those seeking superstardom have now cut out the middle man and publicize their own misguided emotional reactions to the events of their daily life. And they're getting quite good at self-destruction within 140 characters or less!
The latest celebrity feud to emerge out of the Twittersphere is the battle between Perez Hilton and Demi Moore. The two are duke-ing it out on Twitter over two posts by Hilton about Tallulah Willis' wardrobe. Perez thinks it's inappropriate for a 15-year old and showed photos to illustrate his point. Moore vigorously came to her daughter's defense claiming Perez is violating child pornography laws. Perez attacks Moore personally with a barb about menopause and Moore pushes Hilton again on his inappropriate exploitation of underage tushies threatening legal action. The spat goes on from there. The article shines light on other outbursts on the Twitter stage from Kirstie Alley, Ryan Seacrest, Mark Cuban and others.
What makes for an entertainment today, whether it be in the LA Times, Twitter, TMZ, Access Hollywood or any other media that follows the celebrity life is often a spotlight on a star acting badly. If the behavior leads to a personal train wreck, all the better. Why is that? Why do stars publicly act out and why does the public love to see it? Why do they jeopardize their public image with these public outbursts and temper tantrums?
Ego.
Self-destructive behavior of any kind by anyone is rooted in the ego defending itself against threat usually based in some sort of feeling of being victimized, being made "less than". Perez Hilton has his power to embarrass and publicly humiliate celebrities because these very same celebrities, including Demi Moore, and the general public gave it to him. Moore added force to Perez's power by giving his Tweet more energy and distribution with her response saying that he does not take violating child pornography laws very seriously. Perez responds to this a by attacking back with personal insult.
Events in and of themselves hold no power. A tushie shot is a tushie shot. Period. What a person has an event mean is what fuels the reaction, that will result in a good or bad outcome. Having a tushie shot taken in a public place mean that Perez Hilton supports child pornography is of Moore's own creation. Perez having Moore's response mean that she is menopausal, needs medication and lessons in parenting is all of his own creation. None of these meanings are true. These attached meanings and assumptions that are given to events are the fabrication of the ego to make itself feel better, to feel less victimized.
Truth is, you are a victim to no one and no thing unless you allow yourself to be. If Demi viewed the photo of her daughter as just a shot of yet another young girl wearing short shorts instead of child pornography involving her daughter there would be no power in Hilton's Tweet. If Demi didn't like Tallulah's butt hanging out of her shorts she could have addressed the wardrobe issue with her daughter, in private. Instead, there are now threats of a law suit that will also give more steam, energy and attention to the story and to the continued publication of the young tushie.
If Perez took Demi's reaction to the Tweet as that of a protective parent rather than a personal accusation that he is a child pornographer his ego would not rise to personally attack Demi Moore to hurt or embarrass her rather than have anything to do with the photo itself. There would be no pending lawsuit, no more energy given to the dispute. That would also mean that Perez would pass on an opportunity to engage a celebrity in a public fight that only he can win. Whether Perez is right or not is irrelevant. His ratings, viewership, will rise no matter what outcome results. Perez wins because the public's ego loves to see rich and famous celebrities acting badly to feed their own egos, feelings of inferiority, and to boost their own self-esteem. "See, these superstar people aren't any better than me!"
The minute you think any one or any thing (the economy, the glass ceiling, etc.) has power over you, you become its victim. Most often, people are the victim of their own ego, their own Inner Critic. Guess what, your Inner Critic lies! When you get that fearful, panicky, blood-boiling, feeling inside and you react from that state know that you are following the lead of your frighten Inner Critic who is misguidedly fighting for your own sense of self-worth. When you are should-ing all over someone or judging (telling others that they should do or be this or that), your ego has your power. You are no longer in control. Whenever you act in the state of an empowered ego you will not achieve the outcome you desire. All you can do is add 'evidence' to support your feelings of being victimized.
A teenage butt peeking out of short shorts on a public street is not child pornography and Moore's reaction is not the result of hormone imbalances or bad parenting. What is being fought over is a bunch of made up stuff by the very people who are feuding in the public arena.
To turn self-destructive behavior into life-affirming behavior just wake up! Wake up to how you feel. Your emotions are indicators of whether you are listening to that higher power within you, what I playfully call the Inner Wizard, or that frightened four-year old, the Inner Critic, who is having a temper tantrum. In that moment, mindfully monitor your thoughts. Are you giving up your power, allowing yourself to become a victim of the incident? If you are, reach for a new perspective. Take action that will result in what you want to achieve, no more publicized daughter's tushie shots, instead of what you do not want to achieve, more daughter butt shots spread over even more media outlets.
And to those who salivate over celebrity self-sabotage, take note over what you have the public outburst mean about you. If you feel better about yourself, more superior, as a result of someone else's bad behavior, know that you have given your power of personal self-esteem over to the celebrity and to those who report the irrational antics of these stars.
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them on TMZ! Empower the Wizard Within, http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
That's often my first reaction when I open up the daily Calendar Section in the Los Angeles Times in the wee dark hours of each morning. This Monday morning's edition was no exception. Matea Gold reports that celebrities are taking their egoist rants about each other to the public stage and often rue the day they ever discovered Twitter. No longer do we need the paparazzi to hide in the bushes hoping to get a shot of celebrity self-sabotage. Superstars and those seeking superstardom have now cut out the middle man and publicize their own misguided emotional reactions to the events of their daily life. And they're getting quite good at self-destruction within 140 characters or less!
The latest celebrity feud to emerge out of the Twittersphere is the battle between Perez Hilton and Demi Moore. The two are duke-ing it out on Twitter over two posts by Hilton about Tallulah Willis' wardrobe. Perez thinks it's inappropriate for a 15-year old and showed photos to illustrate his point. Moore vigorously came to her daughter's defense claiming Perez is violating child pornography laws. Perez attacks Moore personally with a barb about menopause and Moore pushes Hilton again on his inappropriate exploitation of underage tushies threatening legal action. The spat goes on from there. The article shines light on other outbursts on the Twitter stage from Kirstie Alley, Ryan Seacrest, Mark Cuban and others.
What makes for an entertainment today, whether it be in the LA Times, Twitter, TMZ, Access Hollywood or any other media that follows the celebrity life is often a spotlight on a star acting badly. If the behavior leads to a personal train wreck, all the better. Why is that? Why do stars publicly act out and why does the public love to see it? Why do they jeopardize their public image with these public outbursts and temper tantrums?
Ego.
Self-destructive behavior of any kind by anyone is rooted in the ego defending itself against threat usually based in some sort of feeling of being victimized, being made "less than". Perez Hilton has his power to embarrass and publicly humiliate celebrities because these very same celebrities, including Demi Moore, and the general public gave it to him. Moore added force to Perez's power by giving his Tweet more energy and distribution with her response saying that he does not take violating child pornography laws very seriously. Perez responds to this a by attacking back with personal insult.
Events in and of themselves hold no power. A tushie shot is a tushie shot. Period. What a person has an event mean is what fuels the reaction, that will result in a good or bad outcome. Having a tushie shot taken in a public place mean that Perez Hilton supports child pornography is of Moore's own creation. Perez having Moore's response mean that she is menopausal, needs medication and lessons in parenting is all of his own creation. None of these meanings are true. These attached meanings and assumptions that are given to events are the fabrication of the ego to make itself feel better, to feel less victimized.
Truth is, you are a victim to no one and no thing unless you allow yourself to be. If Demi viewed the photo of her daughter as just a shot of yet another young girl wearing short shorts instead of child pornography involving her daughter there would be no power in Hilton's Tweet. If Demi didn't like Tallulah's butt hanging out of her shorts she could have addressed the wardrobe issue with her daughter, in private. Instead, there are now threats of a law suit that will also give more steam, energy and attention to the story and to the continued publication of the young tushie.
If Perez took Demi's reaction to the Tweet as that of a protective parent rather than a personal accusation that he is a child pornographer his ego would not rise to personally attack Demi Moore to hurt or embarrass her rather than have anything to do with the photo itself. There would be no pending lawsuit, no more energy given to the dispute. That would also mean that Perez would pass on an opportunity to engage a celebrity in a public fight that only he can win. Whether Perez is right or not is irrelevant. His ratings, viewership, will rise no matter what outcome results. Perez wins because the public's ego loves to see rich and famous celebrities acting badly to feed their own egos, feelings of inferiority, and to boost their own self-esteem. "See, these superstar people aren't any better than me!"
The minute you think any one or any thing (the economy, the glass ceiling, etc.) has power over you, you become its victim. Most often, people are the victim of their own ego, their own Inner Critic. Guess what, your Inner Critic lies! When you get that fearful, panicky, blood-boiling, feeling inside and you react from that state know that you are following the lead of your frighten Inner Critic who is misguidedly fighting for your own sense of self-worth. When you are should-ing all over someone or judging (telling others that they should do or be this or that), your ego has your power. You are no longer in control. Whenever you act in the state of an empowered ego you will not achieve the outcome you desire. All you can do is add 'evidence' to support your feelings of being victimized.
A teenage butt peeking out of short shorts on a public street is not child pornography and Moore's reaction is not the result of hormone imbalances or bad parenting. What is being fought over is a bunch of made up stuff by the very people who are feuding in the public arena.
To turn self-destructive behavior into life-affirming behavior just wake up! Wake up to how you feel. Your emotions are indicators of whether you are listening to that higher power within you, what I playfully call the Inner Wizard, or that frightened four-year old, the Inner Critic, who is having a temper tantrum. In that moment, mindfully monitor your thoughts. Are you giving up your power, allowing yourself to become a victim of the incident? If you are, reach for a new perspective. Take action that will result in what you want to achieve, no more publicized daughter's tushie shots, instead of what you do not want to achieve, more daughter butt shots spread over even more media outlets.
And to those who salivate over celebrity self-sabotage, take note over what you have the public outburst mean about you. If you feel better about yourself, more superior, as a result of someone else's bad behavior, know that you have given your power of personal self-esteem over to the celebrity and to those who report the irrational antics of these stars.
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them on TMZ! Empower the Wizard Within, http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Your Body Talks To You. Do You Listen and Flow or Ignore and Struggle?
Your body talks to you all day long. What you feel in your body is an indicator of whether or not you are moving towards or away from achieving what you desire. Your gut instinct will tell you what steps to take, what choices to make, that will get you what you want. Your stomach will tell you if you're headed in the wrong direction.
Are you listening? Are you paying attention, tapped into what your body is telling you?
If you struggle in any area of your life, it is an area where you are not listening to your body. You are not in tune with the guidance of your inner resources that are your birthright. Think for a moment. Can you recall a time when you followed a hunch, a gut instinct, and acted in a way that resulted in a great outcome? Perhaps you were offered a career move or even a social date and 'something told you' that it would not be a good idea to pursue this opportunity. Or, you may have experienced a calm inner knowing in your gut that inspired you to act on an inspired idea that delivered great results. Those inner bodily feelings and emotions were guiding you in the direction of your dreams, what your heart calls you to become.
"Seek the wisdom that will untie your knot, seek the path that demands your whole being." ~Rumi
Have you ever felt a bit scared, perhaps even sick to your stomach, when faced with a choice to do or not do something? Did you Find Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) to go ahead and do it anyway? What were the results? Not good, or at least not optimal, I assure you. You may have invested in something that you really didn't want to yet feared that you would be left out or feel 'less than' if you didn't go ahead and make the investment. Perhaps you stayed in a dysfunctional relationship a lot longer than you wanted to because you didn't want to be alone again. Was there a career opportunity that you passed on because you thought that you really weren't smart or talented enough to succeed? If so, know that all of those choices were based in FEAR.
Any choice, any act, based in fear will have a negative outcome. Any choice, any act, based in inspiration will have a positive outcome. Period.
It is important to notice the distinction between a calm, knowing, gut feeling and a fearful sick-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach pang. The former will move you forward, the later will move you farther away from what you wish to create for your life experience.
When you stand at the crossroads of choice and are not sure what road to take look within. Ask yourself what your inner being would want? Listen. Is the response based in intuition - a gut feeling or fear - a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. Follow your intuition, question your fear. Remind yourself of a time when you faced your fear and experienced a good result. Whenever you face your fears you will discover that what you feared was not real. Give yourself permission to follow your gut instinct instead of your fear voiced by your Inner Critic who misguidedly tries to hold you back to keep you safe in the comfort of an old, tired, comfort zone.
A fulfilled life begins when you go beyond the outer threshold of your comfort zone. - Wizard Within Wizdom
The answer to what the right path is, what the best choice to make is in any moment is intricately tied to your individuality and can only be answered optimally by you. The good news is that you already hold all of the answers, within you. All you have to do is pay attention, acknowledge and honor what your body communicates to you. When you show up in life centered in the truth of who you are you evoke the Wizard Within. Wizards are alchemists after all. They know how to turn dreams into reality!
"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time." ~ Anna Freud
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom, get out of their own Inner Critic way; transform self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips!
Are you listening? Are you paying attention, tapped into what your body is telling you?
If you struggle in any area of your life, it is an area where you are not listening to your body. You are not in tune with the guidance of your inner resources that are your birthright. Think for a moment. Can you recall a time when you followed a hunch, a gut instinct, and acted in a way that resulted in a great outcome? Perhaps you were offered a career move or even a social date and 'something told you' that it would not be a good idea to pursue this opportunity. Or, you may have experienced a calm inner knowing in your gut that inspired you to act on an inspired idea that delivered great results. Those inner bodily feelings and emotions were guiding you in the direction of your dreams, what your heart calls you to become.
"Seek the wisdom that will untie your knot, seek the path that demands your whole being." ~Rumi
Have you ever felt a bit scared, perhaps even sick to your stomach, when faced with a choice to do or not do something? Did you Find Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) to go ahead and do it anyway? What were the results? Not good, or at least not optimal, I assure you. You may have invested in something that you really didn't want to yet feared that you would be left out or feel 'less than' if you didn't go ahead and make the investment. Perhaps you stayed in a dysfunctional relationship a lot longer than you wanted to because you didn't want to be alone again. Was there a career opportunity that you passed on because you thought that you really weren't smart or talented enough to succeed? If so, know that all of those choices were based in FEAR.
Any choice, any act, based in fear will have a negative outcome. Any choice, any act, based in inspiration will have a positive outcome. Period.
It is important to notice the distinction between a calm, knowing, gut feeling and a fearful sick-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach pang. The former will move you forward, the later will move you farther away from what you wish to create for your life experience.
When you stand at the crossroads of choice and are not sure what road to take look within. Ask yourself what your inner being would want? Listen. Is the response based in intuition - a gut feeling or fear - a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. Follow your intuition, question your fear. Remind yourself of a time when you faced your fear and experienced a good result. Whenever you face your fears you will discover that what you feared was not real. Give yourself permission to follow your gut instinct instead of your fear voiced by your Inner Critic who misguidedly tries to hold you back to keep you safe in the comfort of an old, tired, comfort zone.
A fulfilled life begins when you go beyond the outer threshold of your comfort zone. - Wizard Within Wizdom
The answer to what the right path is, what the best choice to make is in any moment is intricately tied to your individuality and can only be answered optimally by you. The good news is that you already hold all of the answers, within you. All you have to do is pay attention, acknowledge and honor what your body communicates to you. When you show up in life centered in the truth of who you are you evoke the Wizard Within. Wizards are alchemists after all. They know how to turn dreams into reality!
"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time." ~ Anna Freud
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom, get out of their own Inner Critic way; transform self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Rip Off The Bandaid and Take The Note: Sage Advice From A Hollywood Wizard
I was sitting at my table enjoying the pile of fruit on my plate at an early morning breakfast meeting when all of a sudden I recognized a Wizard before me. I was there to listen to guest speaker, Krista Vernoff, Emmy-nominated, Golden Globe-winning head writer and executive producer of the television show “Grey’s Anatomy” talk about her road to success. I had been to many such gatherings over the last several years and while I've learned a lot from the various successful people I've listened to and met at these events, it is always a wonderful delight when I'm in the presence of someone who is fully centered in the truth of who they are, firing on all cylinders, joyfully creating the art and life they've always known would be theirs.
As I was munching away at juicy strawberry I witnessed Krista's magic. I knew within three minutes of watching and listening to her speak that she was a person who knew how to fully express the Wizard within. She started by apologizing for being a bit late and disjointedly started to ramble about her early childhood beginnings moving from one place to the other as a child of divorced parents. You could see her mind struggling for what to say next.
And then it happened. Clear as the big lucite pendant that hung from my neck, Krista stopped for a brief second, centered herself, tapped into her inner power and spoke directly from her heart to reveal the Wizard within her. The words did not come from her, they came through her - effortlessly. As if she shape-shifted right in front of me her face took on a different light and her voice a different tone.
There is nothing more authentic, more engaging, than the fullest expression of your truth. Inner knowingness comes from the heart not the mind. Animated and comfortable in her own skin, Krista delivered her secrets on how she became an enormous success while others continue to struggle. She learned how to acknowledge, value and honor her natural gifts as a writer. Krista learned the confidence and power that allowing yourself to pursue and do what you love instead of what those who love you say you should do.
"When I was trying to be a successful actress in local theater I was always desperate for validation and positive feedback. I never could get to a feeling that I was good enough. When I gave myself permission to be a writer, do what I love to do, I didn't give a shit what anyone thought about my plays." - Krita Vernoff
Wizards such as Krista hold the wisdom, the knowingness, of what is possible for them and magically know how to turn their deepest dreams into vivid reality. They know that where energy and focus goes, experience flows. They devote all of their energy and stay focused upon that which makes their heart sing. Greatness, for a Wizard, comes not from fighting for position up the ladder of success but from being in complete alignment with who you are and what you really want to create for your life experience. It's showing up in life from a place of personal power swimming in the flow of life instead of fighting uphill battles against the stream of self-doubt and fear.
“Throughout my tortured childhood I was comforted by the quiet knowing, a voice that told me I would be wealthy, sane and successful. I knew that every difficult experience I had purpose and would give me the ability to provide value for myself and others.” – Krista Vernoff
A Wizard's life is magical. Krista got a big break at a time when she wasn't even in the room! She was going to attend an event that was also frequented by big entertainment industry movers, shakers and influencers. It was an opportunity to get in front of people who could make, or break, the career of an aspiring writer. Krista didn't show up. She couldn't. She was home sick in bed. For many this would be a tale of a missed opportunity. Not for a Wizard. While Krista was sniffling in her kleenex, Krista's boss was talking to one of the big honchos about this talented writer on her staff and suggested he take a look at Krista's work. That's how Krista got her agent. In Hollywood, many people pound the pavement day after day exhaustively searching for an agent who will help become a success. Krista got one seemingly effortlessly without having to lift a finger, let alone knock on one agent's door after another in a desperate search.
"Take the note - especially the one that pisses you off." - Krista Vernoff
If Krista discovers that she is in a circumstance that isn't working, is sucking the life energy out of her, she "rips off the bandaid", detaches and moves on to something that feeds her soul. If her work is criticized, if she is told that a story line doesn't work in some way she takes the note. Criticisim, to a Wizard, is a wonderful opportunity to stretch and learn. Krista takes a lot of notes and rewrites what doesn't work in her scripts and in her life. Not willing to waste her energy on what delivers a veil of darkness, she prioritizes the moments in her life by what will shine light upon herself and others. Having met Krista, I can tell you that there is an aura of light upon her that takes the breath away of those who are blessed with her presence and captivated by her work.
After the talk, I bought Krista's recent book "The Game On! Diet: Kick Your Friend's Butt While Shrinking Your Own" and walked up to her to introduce myself. After a our conversation she took my book and wrote: "Dear Valery, Play to Win! - Krista
Exactamundo! Those a Wizard words. To a Wizard, work is play-time if you're doing what you love. Life is a game. If you want to win you have to play! Playfully follow your heart, honor your truth, rip off the bandaid when it's not working and take the note that will help you create excellence in every area of your life. Wizards love games and play with what they love to create magic.
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom, get out of their own Inner Critic way; transform self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips!
As I was munching away at juicy strawberry I witnessed Krista's magic. I knew within three minutes of watching and listening to her speak that she was a person who knew how to fully express the Wizard within. She started by apologizing for being a bit late and disjointedly started to ramble about her early childhood beginnings moving from one place to the other as a child of divorced parents. You could see her mind struggling for what to say next.
And then it happened. Clear as the big lucite pendant that hung from my neck, Krista stopped for a brief second, centered herself, tapped into her inner power and spoke directly from her heart to reveal the Wizard within her. The words did not come from her, they came through her - effortlessly. As if she shape-shifted right in front of me her face took on a different light and her voice a different tone.
There is nothing more authentic, more engaging, than the fullest expression of your truth. Inner knowingness comes from the heart not the mind. Animated and comfortable in her own skin, Krista delivered her secrets on how she became an enormous success while others continue to struggle. She learned how to acknowledge, value and honor her natural gifts as a writer. Krista learned the confidence and power that allowing yourself to pursue and do what you love instead of what those who love you say you should do.
"When I was trying to be a successful actress in local theater I was always desperate for validation and positive feedback. I never could get to a feeling that I was good enough. When I gave myself permission to be a writer, do what I love to do, I didn't give a shit what anyone thought about my plays." - Krita Vernoff
Wizards such as Krista hold the wisdom, the knowingness, of what is possible for them and magically know how to turn their deepest dreams into vivid reality. They know that where energy and focus goes, experience flows. They devote all of their energy and stay focused upon that which makes their heart sing. Greatness, for a Wizard, comes not from fighting for position up the ladder of success but from being in complete alignment with who you are and what you really want to create for your life experience. It's showing up in life from a place of personal power swimming in the flow of life instead of fighting uphill battles against the stream of self-doubt and fear.
“Throughout my tortured childhood I was comforted by the quiet knowing, a voice that told me I would be wealthy, sane and successful. I knew that every difficult experience I had purpose and would give me the ability to provide value for myself and others.” – Krista Vernoff
A Wizard's life is magical. Krista got a big break at a time when she wasn't even in the room! She was going to attend an event that was also frequented by big entertainment industry movers, shakers and influencers. It was an opportunity to get in front of people who could make, or break, the career of an aspiring writer. Krista didn't show up. She couldn't. She was home sick in bed. For many this would be a tale of a missed opportunity. Not for a Wizard. While Krista was sniffling in her kleenex, Krista's boss was talking to one of the big honchos about this talented writer on her staff and suggested he take a look at Krista's work. That's how Krista got her agent. In Hollywood, many people pound the pavement day after day exhaustively searching for an agent who will help become a success. Krista got one seemingly effortlessly without having to lift a finger, let alone knock on one agent's door after another in a desperate search.
"Take the note - especially the one that pisses you off." - Krista Vernoff
If Krista discovers that she is in a circumstance that isn't working, is sucking the life energy out of her, she "rips off the bandaid", detaches and moves on to something that feeds her soul. If her work is criticized, if she is told that a story line doesn't work in some way she takes the note. Criticisim, to a Wizard, is a wonderful opportunity to stretch and learn. Krista takes a lot of notes and rewrites what doesn't work in her scripts and in her life. Not willing to waste her energy on what delivers a veil of darkness, she prioritizes the moments in her life by what will shine light upon herself and others. Having met Krista, I can tell you that there is an aura of light upon her that takes the breath away of those who are blessed with her presence and captivated by her work.
After the talk, I bought Krista's recent book "The Game On! Diet: Kick Your Friend's Butt While Shrinking Your Own" and walked up to her to introduce myself. After a our conversation she took my book and wrote: "Dear Valery, Play to Win! - Krista
Exactamundo! Those a Wizard words. To a Wizard, work is play-time if you're doing what you love. Life is a game. If you want to win you have to play! Playfully follow your heart, honor your truth, rip off the bandaid when it's not working and take the note that will help you create excellence in every area of your life. Wizards love games and play with what they love to create magic.
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom, get out of their own Inner Critic way; transform self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Drew Barrymore's Secret to Success: Parent Your Self
Everywhere you look; in magazines, newspapers, online and televised articles and bios of people who face challenges are examples of people who have moved beyond their challenges to create extraordinary lives. There are also plenty of examples of those who have literally and figuratively destroyed everything they have achieved. In every inspiring success story lies the common denominator of an examined life and a recapture of personal power, authenticity. In every disappointing story of self-sabotage lies the common denominator of the victim mentality, a giving up personal power and life experience responsibility over to others. And there are stories of people who have turned a life of self-destruction into a fulfilling life of creative endeavors that enriches their own life and the lives of those they touch through their presence and their work.
I woke up one recent morning and read Parade Magazine's article "In Search of the True Drew" by Kevin Sessums. Delightfully, this is a story of a stunning turnaround in what could have easily been a sad story about what could have been. It is commonly known that this "ET" child star led an early life of drug and alcohol addiction, rehab and a series of short failed marriages. Today Drew is an accomplished actress and film producer. With her new film, "Whip It", Drew is adding Director to her credits. Her production company, Flower Films, has produced ten movies including "He's Just Not That Into You", "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle", "Donnie Darko" and "Never Been Kissed". Nancy Juvonen is Drew's partner at Flower Films.
"I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end." - Drew Barrymore
How did Drew make the transition from a has-been washed out child-star following a path of self ruination to an award winning highly recognized power in Hollywood? Drew discovered that life experiences are not events that happen 'to you', they are the direct result of choices made. This new way of thinking about her past experience and what she wanted to create for her future is the result of a shift from "I am a victim of my circumstance" to "I have the power to create the life I want to experience". Drew moved from being a victim of circumstance, a child born into a dysfunctional yet famous Hollywood Family recreating the same destructive life for herself that her Mother experienced to taking deliberate charge of her personal and professional choices.
"There is a joy that's earned by failure or triumph. All those things add up to teach us, if we are open to it." - Drew Barrymore
Drew realized that there is purpose in every experience she had in those difficult early years. Each experience came with a gift in the lesson that could be learned by it. Drew looked for the lesson, learned and applied it. Today she makes different choices, choices that will take her in the direction of her dreams instead of further away from what she desires most.
"I aspire to be that, to be a voice of reason one day." - Drew Barrymore
Instead of continuing to act as a mirrored reflection of her Mother's misguided influence, Drew acts as the Mother who guides her child, herself, in a positive and supportive method of parenting. Acting as her own Mother, Drew parents herself by mindfully speaking and behaving in a way that empowers her to create a lot more of the good experiences and fewer of the, shall we say, less than optimal experiences. And with each experience that could have resulted in a better outcome, Drew looks for the gift, learns the lesson and applies it the next time around thus creating a newer and better outcome!
With this trust in her own internal guidance system Drew's life is now the shining example of a story well told. With her willful intention to live a life well lived, we look forward to seeing what Drew creates next in her work and her life.
"I used to look in the mirror and feel shame, I look in the mirror now and I absolutely love myself. - Drew Barrymore
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom & get out of their own Inner Critic way; stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within, inspire the Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
I woke up one recent morning and read Parade Magazine's article "In Search of the True Drew" by Kevin Sessums. Delightfully, this is a story of a stunning turnaround in what could have easily been a sad story about what could have been. It is commonly known that this "ET" child star led an early life of drug and alcohol addiction, rehab and a series of short failed marriages. Today Drew is an accomplished actress and film producer. With her new film, "Whip It", Drew is adding Director to her credits. Her production company, Flower Films, has produced ten movies including "He's Just Not That Into You", "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle", "Donnie Darko" and "Never Been Kissed". Nancy Juvonen is Drew's partner at Flower Films.
"I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end." - Drew Barrymore
How did Drew make the transition from a has-been washed out child-star following a path of self ruination to an award winning highly recognized power in Hollywood? Drew discovered that life experiences are not events that happen 'to you', they are the direct result of choices made. This new way of thinking about her past experience and what she wanted to create for her future is the result of a shift from "I am a victim of my circumstance" to "I have the power to create the life I want to experience". Drew moved from being a victim of circumstance, a child born into a dysfunctional yet famous Hollywood Family recreating the same destructive life for herself that her Mother experienced to taking deliberate charge of her personal and professional choices.
"There is a joy that's earned by failure or triumph. All those things add up to teach us, if we are open to it." - Drew Barrymore
Drew realized that there is purpose in every experience she had in those difficult early years. Each experience came with a gift in the lesson that could be learned by it. Drew looked for the lesson, learned and applied it. Today she makes different choices, choices that will take her in the direction of her dreams instead of further away from what she desires most.
"I aspire to be that, to be a voice of reason one day." - Drew Barrymore
Instead of continuing to act as a mirrored reflection of her Mother's misguided influence, Drew acts as the Mother who guides her child, herself, in a positive and supportive method of parenting. Acting as her own Mother, Drew parents herself by mindfully speaking and behaving in a way that empowers her to create a lot more of the good experiences and fewer of the, shall we say, less than optimal experiences. And with each experience that could have resulted in a better outcome, Drew looks for the gift, learns the lesson and applies it the next time around thus creating a newer and better outcome!
With this trust in her own internal guidance system Drew's life is now the shining example of a story well told. With her willful intention to live a life well lived, we look forward to seeing what Drew creates next in her work and her life.
"I used to look in the mirror and feel shame, I look in the mirror now and I absolutely love myself. - Drew Barrymore
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist, performer & creative entrepreneur. Clients learn how to tap into their inner wisdom & get out of their own Inner Critic way; stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within, inspire the Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Free "Empower the Wizard Within tips"!
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