“When I start a movie, the first day, I feel like a duck.” - Penelope Cruz, Academy Award Winning Actor
Penelope Cruz makes no secret that she's terrified when she embarks on a new project, a new role. Inner thoughts of not being talented enough and anxiety over the sureness that she will be fired for one reason or another engulfs her mind as she prepares for those first few days on the set. While there is the occasional thespian who musters the temerity confidently to embody a character at the onset, Cruz is certainly not alone among actors who begin insecure and fearful they may not be able to deliver the performance the Director is looking for.
Fear and panic are not great external forces; they are powerful internal ones, generated deep in the part of the brain that is home to what I playfully call the Inner Critic. The Inner Critic is that egoic part of you that means well, wants to keep you safe, yet is woefully misguided. Preferring to keep you secure in your current comfort zone it will block you from stretching into the unknown. Every time you choose safety you reinforce what you terrifies you.
Unfortunately many talented people in every creative endeavor freeze and succumb to their fears. They Find Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) not to take on challenges, quit or hold back on the fullest expression of their creation. Have you ever faced an opportunity you wanted, perhaps even longed for, but were afraid? What went through your head at the time? Did allow your fear to hold you back or did you harness and leverage your fear to propel you forward beyond fear and into performance mastery?
Actors like Cruz acknowledge their inner fear and trepidation as they turn and focus that energy into their creation. As a committed actor, acting is more important to Cruz than giving in to her fear. Like an alchemist, she turns that fear into courage to push herself to even higher levels of excellence with each performance.
"I haven’t lost the normal fear and insecurity that comes with acting, and I don’t want to lose it. Every time a project starts, it feels like the first time. You have all these experiences that have been accumulating, yes, but it’s still new, still fresh, and I love all of those feelings, all of them. Especially the fear. Because I need that fear. I use it as fuel." - Penelope Cruz
If you surrender to your fear, let it overpower you, you destroy the creative passion that burns within you. If you try to suppress your fear, tension will build and become blocked impulses, responses, emotions and thoughts. This is the death knell for an actor.
If you acknowledge your fear and release that depth of emotion into your performance, into your art, into whatever it is you what to bring forth into this world you will experience a life-affirming richness of fulfillment. You fear will disappear as you embracing the foreboding nightmare and mindfully step through it with every fiber of your being. There is nothing more thrilling and exhilarating than the fullest expression of your creative potential.
"Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom." - Marilyn Ferguson, American author, editor and public speaker
Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Who Are You? Misguided Blockhead or Masterful Wizard?
Who are you? Some say that a person is a product of his or her choices. Much like the causality dilemma of "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" that evokes questions about life and how the Universe in general began, who you are can be rooted in a circular cause and consequence pattern of experience.
Or is it?
The answer is, it depends. It depends upon how you choose. Are you creating your choices or are your choices creating you?
The decisions you make, the actions you take and the results you experience are originated in how you think. The outcomes of your choices shape your thoughts which influence future decisions. If you don't like what's going on in your life you have the power to change how you think to create newer and better outcomes.
Let's say you got fired. You walked into work one morning and was given an unexpected pink slip and was shown the door. At that moment you have a choice, you can blame your "idiot" boss, cuss out your co-workers or clients and make yourself feel better by telling yourself you don't need that stinkin' job anyway. Or you can recognize the moment as a learning opportunity, take a step back and examine why exactly you got fired.
If you choose to blindly attribute your misfortune to the acts of others you are left with no information to prevent the same unwanted experience from again happening. After some time you find another job only to be shown the door again a few months later. And the repeated pattern of experience continues. You become a resentful, bitter, perhaps depressed, person who can't hold down a job and thinks your fate is in the hands of misguided blockheads.
Is this you? No. This is a person who lives life on autopilot, powerless to achieve an inner calling. It not who you came into this world to become. Nevertheless, the revolving door of bad experience after the other has, however, become your life experience as a consequence of the choice you made to blame others for the loss of your job. Your choices are creating who you have become. You have become the misguided blockhead.
What if you made a different choice? What if you examined why you initially got fired? You would discover what, specifically, lead to your termination. You would discover what errors in judgment you might have made, what signals you missed or didn't act on, or what relationships you failed to cultivate. Armed with this new information, lessons learned, and better way of thinking you will make very different choices in your next job.
Is this you? Yes. It is the you in the process of discovering and expressing your full potential. This is who you came into this world to be, tapped into your personal power as the deliberate creator of your life experience. The question remains, which you are you expressing today? If you're not sure, check in with how you feel. If your tired and frustrated your choices are creating you. If you energized and fulfilled, you are creating your choices. Like an masterful Wizard, you are the alchemist turning your passionate dream into a real experience.
"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates
By the way, the answer to which came first the chicken or the egg is, the egg. It has something to do with zygote cells, DNA, and an illicit tryst with a rooster.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
Or is it?
The answer is, it depends. It depends upon how you choose. Are you creating your choices or are your choices creating you?
The decisions you make, the actions you take and the results you experience are originated in how you think. The outcomes of your choices shape your thoughts which influence future decisions. If you don't like what's going on in your life you have the power to change how you think to create newer and better outcomes.
Let's say you got fired. You walked into work one morning and was given an unexpected pink slip and was shown the door. At that moment you have a choice, you can blame your "idiot" boss, cuss out your co-workers or clients and make yourself feel better by telling yourself you don't need that stinkin' job anyway. Or you can recognize the moment as a learning opportunity, take a step back and examine why exactly you got fired.
If you choose to blindly attribute your misfortune to the acts of others you are left with no information to prevent the same unwanted experience from again happening. After some time you find another job only to be shown the door again a few months later. And the repeated pattern of experience continues. You become a resentful, bitter, perhaps depressed, person who can't hold down a job and thinks your fate is in the hands of misguided blockheads.
Is this you? No. This is a person who lives life on autopilot, powerless to achieve an inner calling. It not who you came into this world to become. Nevertheless, the revolving door of bad experience after the other has, however, become your life experience as a consequence of the choice you made to blame others for the loss of your job. Your choices are creating who you have become. You have become the misguided blockhead.
What if you made a different choice? What if you examined why you initially got fired? You would discover what, specifically, lead to your termination. You would discover what errors in judgment you might have made, what signals you missed or didn't act on, or what relationships you failed to cultivate. Armed with this new information, lessons learned, and better way of thinking you will make very different choices in your next job.
Is this you? Yes. It is the you in the process of discovering and expressing your full potential. This is who you came into this world to be, tapped into your personal power as the deliberate creator of your life experience. The question remains, which you are you expressing today? If you're not sure, check in with how you feel. If your tired and frustrated your choices are creating you. If you energized and fulfilled, you are creating your choices. Like an masterful Wizard, you are the alchemist turning your passionate dream into a real experience.
"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates
By the way, the answer to which came first the chicken or the egg is, the egg. It has something to do with zygote cells, DNA, and an illicit tryst with a rooster.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Resentment and Expectations: Big Fat Life Hold Ups
I work with a lot of people who are often in conflict with people they work, or aspire to work with, or in their personal relationships. Time and again I see people become frustrated, angry, and hostile, all a result of having fixed and expectations of one another. Some hold onto and wear their resentment like a badge of honor. It's an exhausting way to live. Helping people recognize and reframe these control-based expectations is essential to real movement toward agreement, better experiences and overall emotional intelligence growth.
The source of anger and resentment is unmet expectations. Simply put, you are not here to live up to other people's expectations. Nor is anyone here to live up to yours. Think about the times you have been angry, aggravated, frustrated or downright pissed off. What was at the root of your upset? Chances are something you expected did not happen the way you wanted or assumed it would. Expectations can be good when used to energize and motivate in a positive direction. However, when entangled with unrealistic suppositions often developed in early childhood, they are likely to cause disappointment. Common reaction to disappointment is anger, resentment and depression.
Often when people come up against what is their idea of right and wrong, they tend to revert to old coping pattens of thinking. These 'rules of life' might have helped you make it through childhood safely and securely but they no longer are useful if they get in your way as an adult. In an effort not to lose what is really a false sense of control and security, people unrealistically expect all people to behave a certain way and presume all situations should turn out as they think they should. If any of this sounds a bit familiar, know that in these circumstances you unwittingly set yourself up for an unhappy experience. You will likely feel the blunt force of disappointment, anger, resentment, and rage.
What you don't realize is that this powerful negative emotion was stirred up by no one other than you so that you could 'be right' in the situation. You seek your validation through making others wrong. Being right makes you feel better about yourself because it gives you an excuse to direct your anger, your blame, at someone else instead of taking responsibility for your own agitation.
Know this: Any time any one or any thing controls how you value yourself or how feel, you are a victim to that person or thing.
No other person or situation can make you angry. Events alone do not cause anger. If someone does or says something that is not in line with your expectations you have the power to choose to react or respond. You can blindly react as if on autopilot as you run you old victim oriented "how dare she do this to me" routine that holds you back from moving forward or you can stop and deliberately decide how to respond.
Resentment is a thief that you invite in to steal your personal power. The more you resent the more you will feel victimized and powerless. Your emotions are indicators of whether or not you are about to act in a way that supports you or adds insult to injury. If you feel good, or at least calm, you are fully present in a position to respond productively from a centered place. If you feel bad, you've slipped into old thinking patterns of the past and are reacting automatically and irresponsibly from a disturbed place. Resentment over stymied expectations is not your friend in any circumstance. Pain can happen, anger and resentment is a choice.
If you discover that you've been hit in the fact with a thwarted expectation take a breath. Instead of cursing, believing that you've been foiled yet again, ask yourself the following questions:
Was your expectation realistic?
Just because you would do or say something in a specific situation does that mean that everyone has to act in the same way?
Do you even have all the facts?
Are you making up any of the details of the circumstance?
Are you making assumptions about the other person's motivations, agenda, thoughts or beliefs?
How do you know what you assume to be true is absolutely true?
Is there any other way the situation could be perceived?
And one more question:
Even if this other person disrespected or devalued you in some way, was it what you expected them to do? If so, look within to reveal where you disrespect or devalue yourself through your thoughts and beliefs about you. You cannot get that which you do not already have. If you want to be valued, respected, or loved you have to respect, value and love yourself first.
Once you've examined your expectations, change your thoughts, and decide upon the best course of action.
If someone has maligned you in some way, it is not within your control to alter another person's behavior. The only thing you really can change is your inner image of that person in such a manner that you are feeling less disappointed, hurt, bitter, cheated, or wronged by them. Truth is, everyone is doing the best they can with the light they have to see. Some people are missing a few batteries in their flashlight. Others have no idea how to turn on a flashlight. They are in the dark, unconscious to, their own unrealistic expectations and misguided thoughts that their actions are based upon. You can choose to dim your light to match their or shine your light to brighten their way.
As you begin to appreciate others in spite of their faults, you begin to appreciate yourself in spite of your own faults. You are doing the best you can and have opportunities to learn new, more productive, ways of thinking. As you do so, you will enjoy renewed energy, a more positive attitude and much better experiences when you let go of beating yourself up over unmet, often unrealistic, expectations of yourself.
"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." - Carrie Fisher - Author, Actress
Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
The source of anger and resentment is unmet expectations. Simply put, you are not here to live up to other people's expectations. Nor is anyone here to live up to yours. Think about the times you have been angry, aggravated, frustrated or downright pissed off. What was at the root of your upset? Chances are something you expected did not happen the way you wanted or assumed it would. Expectations can be good when used to energize and motivate in a positive direction. However, when entangled with unrealistic suppositions often developed in early childhood, they are likely to cause disappointment. Common reaction to disappointment is anger, resentment and depression.
Often when people come up against what is their idea of right and wrong, they tend to revert to old coping pattens of thinking. These 'rules of life' might have helped you make it through childhood safely and securely but they no longer are useful if they get in your way as an adult. In an effort not to lose what is really a false sense of control and security, people unrealistically expect all people to behave a certain way and presume all situations should turn out as they think they should. If any of this sounds a bit familiar, know that in these circumstances you unwittingly set yourself up for an unhappy experience. You will likely feel the blunt force of disappointment, anger, resentment, and rage.
What you don't realize is that this powerful negative emotion was stirred up by no one other than you so that you could 'be right' in the situation. You seek your validation through making others wrong. Being right makes you feel better about yourself because it gives you an excuse to direct your anger, your blame, at someone else instead of taking responsibility for your own agitation.
Know this: Any time any one or any thing controls how you value yourself or how feel, you are a victim to that person or thing.
No other person or situation can make you angry. Events alone do not cause anger. If someone does or says something that is not in line with your expectations you have the power to choose to react or respond. You can blindly react as if on autopilot as you run you old victim oriented "how dare she do this to me" routine that holds you back from moving forward or you can stop and deliberately decide how to respond.
Resentment is a thief that you invite in to steal your personal power. The more you resent the more you will feel victimized and powerless. Your emotions are indicators of whether or not you are about to act in a way that supports you or adds insult to injury. If you feel good, or at least calm, you are fully present in a position to respond productively from a centered place. If you feel bad, you've slipped into old thinking patterns of the past and are reacting automatically and irresponsibly from a disturbed place. Resentment over stymied expectations is not your friend in any circumstance. Pain can happen, anger and resentment is a choice.
If you discover that you've been hit in the fact with a thwarted expectation take a breath. Instead of cursing, believing that you've been foiled yet again, ask yourself the following questions:
Was your expectation realistic?
Just because you would do or say something in a specific situation does that mean that everyone has to act in the same way?
Do you even have all the facts?
Are you making up any of the details of the circumstance?
Are you making assumptions about the other person's motivations, agenda, thoughts or beliefs?
How do you know what you assume to be true is absolutely true?
Is there any other way the situation could be perceived?
And one more question:
Even if this other person disrespected or devalued you in some way, was it what you expected them to do? If so, look within to reveal where you disrespect or devalue yourself through your thoughts and beliefs about you. You cannot get that which you do not already have. If you want to be valued, respected, or loved you have to respect, value and love yourself first.
Once you've examined your expectations, change your thoughts, and decide upon the best course of action.
If someone has maligned you in some way, it is not within your control to alter another person's behavior. The only thing you really can change is your inner image of that person in such a manner that you are feeling less disappointed, hurt, bitter, cheated, or wronged by them. Truth is, everyone is doing the best they can with the light they have to see. Some people are missing a few batteries in their flashlight. Others have no idea how to turn on a flashlight. They are in the dark, unconscious to, their own unrealistic expectations and misguided thoughts that their actions are based upon. You can choose to dim your light to match their or shine your light to brighten their way.
As you begin to appreciate others in spite of their faults, you begin to appreciate yourself in spite of your own faults. You are doing the best you can and have opportunities to learn new, more productive, ways of thinking. As you do so, you will enjoy renewed energy, a more positive attitude and much better experiences when you let go of beating yourself up over unmet, often unrealistic, expectations of yourself.
"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." - Carrie Fisher - Author, Actress
Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Oops I Did It Again:The Zombie Tune of Repeated Unwanted Experiences
Starting to think life is a merry-go-round? Have you lost or quit a job every couple of years with the excuse that your boss is a jerk or you're bored out of your mind? Have you noticed a revolving door-like structure to your personal relationships? Do you move your residence from place to place never satisfied with where you are? Is life slipping by through a set pattern of behavior that just isn't working out for you, just keeping you stuck on a treadmill of repeated experiences that you'd rather not have - again?
If so, you may have forgotten to take off your Halloween Zombie mask several years, or decades, ago. A zombie is a creature that is dead but robotically walks the walks the earth like a living person. A Zombie is a person on auto-pilot, unconscious to the masterful life-affirming creative power within. Going through life as a zombie isn't all that bad; except that things never really work out the way you want them to. The Zombie life will leave you feeling stuck or frustrated that you aren't living the life you had imagined. As a Zombie, you may be bitter about how life has treated you yet not understanding that only you can change your circumstances.
You are not alone. Plenty of Zombies walk among us. Some of your friends and co-workers are Zombies. You can bump into Zombies at the grocery store. Some are seen at seemingly normal and innocent places such as the spa, gym, empowering conference, workshop and the Barney's Warehouse Sale. Zombies everywhere! Whether you're a Zombie or not, you walk among them.
If you want to get out of a Zombie haze you have to take responsibility for all of your life experiences, good and bad. In taking responsibility, you are not beating yourself up with blame, shame, and guilt for creating the outcomes you'd rather forget. Instead, you examine each of these instances to discover what, specifically, led to the undesired incident.
All events begin with a thought that leads to a feeling that evokes a choice that calls for an action that creates the consequence.To remove the Zombie mask to wake up to your life, see clearly, and trace the occasions of your life back to the thoughts that generated the subsequent events. Think of it as much like peeling an onion. As you strip away the layers you'll realize how you unknowingly set yourself up for the results you experienced.
That's powerful information. In order to change the outcomes you do not want you have to change the way you think, reach for new perspectives. To continue to create more of the milestones you enjoyed continue to hold the thoughts and perspectives that created those wonderful happenings.
To the extent that you feel tired, unfulfilled, anxious, stressed or frustrated is where you show up in your life wearing a Zombie mask. Deliberately and objectively dissect the events that created unwanted circumstances to reveal the originating thoughts. Vigorously question the truth of those thoughts. Look for evidence to the contrary. Frame a new perspective. With this new outlook, identify what a better choice would have been and apply that new thinking to your life as you move forward. No longer living life as a Zombie you become the hero of your opportunities instead of the victim of your circumstance.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
If so, you may have forgotten to take off your Halloween Zombie mask several years, or decades, ago. A zombie is a creature that is dead but robotically walks the walks the earth like a living person. A Zombie is a person on auto-pilot, unconscious to the masterful life-affirming creative power within. Going through life as a zombie isn't all that bad; except that things never really work out the way you want them to. The Zombie life will leave you feeling stuck or frustrated that you aren't living the life you had imagined. As a Zombie, you may be bitter about how life has treated you yet not understanding that only you can change your circumstances.
You are not alone. Plenty of Zombies walk among us. Some of your friends and co-workers are Zombies. You can bump into Zombies at the grocery store. Some are seen at seemingly normal and innocent places such as the spa, gym, empowering conference, workshop and the Barney's Warehouse Sale. Zombies everywhere! Whether you're a Zombie or not, you walk among them.
If you want to get out of a Zombie haze you have to take responsibility for all of your life experiences, good and bad. In taking responsibility, you are not beating yourself up with blame, shame, and guilt for creating the outcomes you'd rather forget. Instead, you examine each of these instances to discover what, specifically, led to the undesired incident.
All events begin with a thought that leads to a feeling that evokes a choice that calls for an action that creates the consequence.To remove the Zombie mask to wake up to your life, see clearly, and trace the occasions of your life back to the thoughts that generated the subsequent events. Think of it as much like peeling an onion. As you strip away the layers you'll realize how you unknowingly set yourself up for the results you experienced.
That's powerful information. In order to change the outcomes you do not want you have to change the way you think, reach for new perspectives. To continue to create more of the milestones you enjoyed continue to hold the thoughts and perspectives that created those wonderful happenings.
To the extent that you feel tired, unfulfilled, anxious, stressed or frustrated is where you show up in your life wearing a Zombie mask. Deliberately and objectively dissect the events that created unwanted circumstances to reveal the originating thoughts. Vigorously question the truth of those thoughts. Look for evidence to the contrary. Frame a new perspective. With this new outlook, identify what a better choice would have been and apply that new thinking to your life as you move forward. No longer living life as a Zombie you become the hero of your opportunities instead of the victim of your circumstance.
Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Stuck? You May Have Eyes Wide Shut Syndrome
I was enjoying a lovely dinner last night at a little French restaurant at The Farmer's Market in Los Angeles last night when I overheard a neighboring conversation. Ok, I was deliberately eavesdropping. I admit it. Those who know me already know that listening to how other people think is a favorite pastime of mine. In a not so covert attempt to hear better, I scooched my chair a little closer and ran smack into the void of quiet desperation.
A writer and a director were discussing, or rather dissing, that which is known as The Biz in this town. The focus of their entire conversation was how impossible it was to get anything produced, let alone distributed, in this town. Piling on one limitation to success after another, the diatribe was peppered with all that is bad, all that is restrictive to the successful expression of their creative endeavor.
Ok, so the tenor of their desperation was not so quiet. This is not a new or unusual conversation in Hollywood. A lot of creative people are desperately looking for a break. Thousands flock to Los Angeles every year hoping to make it, see their name on the credit roll, achieve recognition and respect among peers.
As I continued to listen to their discourse I realized that the illness that preys upon creative professionals who often face rejection and brush-off is "eyes wide shut" syndrome. I get that only a very select few ever make it, achieve their deepest dream, here in tinsel town. It is not a hidden secret that the journey to success here is a road filled with rejection and heart ache. The eyes of opportunity are shut due to the challenges, pitfalls and possible hazards of this pursuit.
"A lot of directors don't want the pressure of a movie the size of Pearl Harbor. But I love it. I thrive on it." - Michael Bay, Director
While many will tell you it's an arduous, even tortuous, pursuit most people do not realize that they have chosen the path of least resistance instead of the thoroughfare to accomplishment. Their eyes are shut to the choices they make that hold them back from the next rung, and the rung after that on the ladder of success. Everything a person shuts his or her eyes to, resists, dislikes, complains about or runs away from is a blind alley. Every aspiration chased, every authentic expression withheld or self-denied darkens the pathway to actualization of what the heart is longing for.
"I`ve been told that I`m incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn`t function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me." - Diablo Cody, Writer, "Juno"
What seems painful, limiting or defeating can become a source of strength and inspiration if viewed from a different perspective. You can focus upon and give energy to all that is not working for you or you can choose to see what is viable for yourself and others. Do you turn your attention to all the failures and rejection in your life and in the lives of others who are after similar goals? Or do you actively seek shining examples of what is and can be done to deliver the ultimate experience you are working so hard to achieve. Simply put, you can become a victim of your circumstance or the hero of your opportunity.
Open your eyes. Form and embrace a new perspective, one that is founded in possibilities instead of impediments. Speak in the direction of your dreams; in your head and in the conversations you have with others. Take action on the intuitive inspired idea that may come to you in the middle of the night. Keep those eyes open and ready for what you have the talent and ability to create when you awake in the morning.
"I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will. " - Clint Eastwood
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
A writer and a director were discussing, or rather dissing, that which is known as The Biz in this town. The focus of their entire conversation was how impossible it was to get anything produced, let alone distributed, in this town. Piling on one limitation to success after another, the diatribe was peppered with all that is bad, all that is restrictive to the successful expression of their creative endeavor.
Ok, so the tenor of their desperation was not so quiet. This is not a new or unusual conversation in Hollywood. A lot of creative people are desperately looking for a break. Thousands flock to Los Angeles every year hoping to make it, see their name on the credit roll, achieve recognition and respect among peers.
As I continued to listen to their discourse I realized that the illness that preys upon creative professionals who often face rejection and brush-off is "eyes wide shut" syndrome. I get that only a very select few ever make it, achieve their deepest dream, here in tinsel town. It is not a hidden secret that the journey to success here is a road filled with rejection and heart ache. The eyes of opportunity are shut due to the challenges, pitfalls and possible hazards of this pursuit.
"A lot of directors don't want the pressure of a movie the size of Pearl Harbor. But I love it. I thrive on it." - Michael Bay, Director
While many will tell you it's an arduous, even tortuous, pursuit most people do not realize that they have chosen the path of least resistance instead of the thoroughfare to accomplishment. Their eyes are shut to the choices they make that hold them back from the next rung, and the rung after that on the ladder of success. Everything a person shuts his or her eyes to, resists, dislikes, complains about or runs away from is a blind alley. Every aspiration chased, every authentic expression withheld or self-denied darkens the pathway to actualization of what the heart is longing for.
"I`ve been told that I`m incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn`t function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me." - Diablo Cody, Writer, "Juno"
What seems painful, limiting or defeating can become a source of strength and inspiration if viewed from a different perspective. You can focus upon and give energy to all that is not working for you or you can choose to see what is viable for yourself and others. Do you turn your attention to all the failures and rejection in your life and in the lives of others who are after similar goals? Or do you actively seek shining examples of what is and can be done to deliver the ultimate experience you are working so hard to achieve. Simply put, you can become a victim of your circumstance or the hero of your opportunity.
Open your eyes. Form and embrace a new perspective, one that is founded in possibilities instead of impediments. Speak in the direction of your dreams; in your head and in the conversations you have with others. Take action on the intuitive inspired idea that may come to you in the middle of the night. Keep those eyes open and ready for what you have the talent and ability to create when you awake in the morning.
"I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will. " - Clint Eastwood
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Free tips!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Fakin' It? Not Really Makin' It?
As I was driving along the Malibu coast Paul Simon's "Fakin' It" blared through the radio. I had the volume cranked because I had the top down and was singing loudly and badly along with the song. It's such fun to let go and sing, especially if the sound of your voice could turn wine into vinegar, but I digress.
When I screeched the verse:
"I've just been fakin' it,
I'm not really makin' it.
This feeling of fakin' it-
I still haven't shaken it."
It occurred to me that "this feeling of fakin' it" was a running theme among my clients in the entertainment industry. Many of the people who come to me believe, at their deepest core, that it's only a matter of time before the people who can make or break careers will discover that the artist or executive hired is not really talented, smart, good, pretty, young, passionate, thin, whatever enough. Even someone who has climbed up several rungs on their ladder of success can still feel like he or she is still just fakin' it, not really makin' it.
Often people are told by well-meaning yet misguided advisers to 'fake it until you make it'. The trouble is, you can't fake it. Your Higher Being (what I playfully call the Wizard Within) will know you are faking. Faking it is the realm of that other part of you, the voice of your self-doubt, your Inner Critic. This part of you that wants to keep you small to be safe will serve up messages of fear and admonition to hold you back.
There is a clear distinction between merely faking something and believing in your potential. If you show up in your craft, and in your life, faking it you give your power, your personal strength and courage, over to your Inner Critic who will lie and tell you that you really aren't good enough to want what you want, be who you want to be, do what you want to do. Know this, if your heart passionately calls you to pursue a dream it does so because this is who you are and what you are meant to do. By this very definition, you are talented, good, smart, whatever enough to reach your goal, achieve your dream. Unless you get in your own way by listening to that misguided Inner Critic.
Instead, return your power over to your Higher Being and hold the presence of a person fully in touch with their potential and allow yourself to boldly pursue your creative endeavors. Imagine yourself as having already reached your goal, and beyond, and hold all the feelings associated with what that experience will deliver. Stay present with those feelings as you express yourself in every aspect of your life each and every day. Before you know it, what you imagine has turned into reality. You have to see it in order to believe it. You have to believe it in order to be it. It's that simple.
Even if you fall flat on your face a time or two you will move closer to realizing your dream in the lesson that can be learned by that experience.
It must have been an oldies sweep because the next song played was "Brass In Pocket" by The Pretenders, Chrissie Hynde and James Honeyman-Scott. Oh, yeah!
"Got brass in pocket
Got bottle I'm gonna use it
Intention I feel inventive
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice
'cause I gonna make you see
There's nobody else here
No one like me
I'm special so special
I gotta have some of your attention give it to me"
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips!
When I screeched the verse:
"I've just been fakin' it,
I'm not really makin' it.
This feeling of fakin' it-
I still haven't shaken it."
It occurred to me that "this feeling of fakin' it" was a running theme among my clients in the entertainment industry. Many of the people who come to me believe, at their deepest core, that it's only a matter of time before the people who can make or break careers will discover that the artist or executive hired is not really talented, smart, good, pretty, young, passionate, thin, whatever enough. Even someone who has climbed up several rungs on their ladder of success can still feel like he or she is still just fakin' it, not really makin' it.
Often people are told by well-meaning yet misguided advisers to 'fake it until you make it'. The trouble is, you can't fake it. Your Higher Being (what I playfully call the Wizard Within) will know you are faking. Faking it is the realm of that other part of you, the voice of your self-doubt, your Inner Critic. This part of you that wants to keep you small to be safe will serve up messages of fear and admonition to hold you back.
There is a clear distinction between merely faking something and believing in your potential. If you show up in your craft, and in your life, faking it you give your power, your personal strength and courage, over to your Inner Critic who will lie and tell you that you really aren't good enough to want what you want, be who you want to be, do what you want to do. Know this, if your heart passionately calls you to pursue a dream it does so because this is who you are and what you are meant to do. By this very definition, you are talented, good, smart, whatever enough to reach your goal, achieve your dream. Unless you get in your own way by listening to that misguided Inner Critic.
Instead, return your power over to your Higher Being and hold the presence of a person fully in touch with their potential and allow yourself to boldly pursue your creative endeavors. Imagine yourself as having already reached your goal, and beyond, and hold all the feelings associated with what that experience will deliver. Stay present with those feelings as you express yourself in every aspect of your life each and every day. Before you know it, what you imagine has turned into reality. You have to see it in order to believe it. You have to believe it in order to be it. It's that simple.
Even if you fall flat on your face a time or two you will move closer to realizing your dream in the lesson that can be learned by that experience.
It must have been an oldies sweep because the next song played was "Brass In Pocket" by The Pretenders, Chrissie Hynde and James Honeyman-Scott. Oh, yeah!
"Got brass in pocket
Got bottle I'm gonna use it
Intention I feel inventive
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice
'cause I gonna make you see
There's nobody else here
No one like me
I'm special so special
I gotta have some of your attention give it to me"
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Life Stinks? How To Detach From Your Garbage Truck
Life stinks.
If that statement bubbled up in your thoughts recently then you may be attached to life decaying garbage truck thinking. Simply put, if you stuff your mind with garbage you will create stinky outcomes. If you focus upon all that is bad in your life you will only add to the garbage dump that is becoming your daily experience.
Garbage in, garbage out.
Let's say you're rushing to get to work on the 405 freeway when another driver cuts in front of you and slams on the brakes. You toot your horn forcefully to give him a warning as you avoid a whopper of a fender bender. He responds with a slew of obscenities and the ubiquitous finger punctuator. It happens - a lot - if you live in a busy metropolis such as Los Angeles.
In that moment you have a choice. You can raise your fickle finger of fate in response or smile and count your blessings that you're not that guy. Yikes, what a miserable way to live. By smiling you kept negative feelings and energy right where it came from - from that guy. If you responded with your own favorite flip off gesture you would have taken on his garbage as yours. Pissed off, your focus is negatively directed. You will cloud your vision with so much dust and dirt and wonder why you cannot see.
"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." - Ziggy, Tom Wilson comic strip panel
Where focus goes, energy flows.
Some people are like garbage trucks. They run around packed to the hilt with garbage. Their life energy is full of anger, frustration and disappointment. Their conversations are filled with complaints. They find excuses and reasons why they can't be, do or have what they want blaming others for their misfortune. The acronym for Finding Excuses And Reasons is FEAR and when you're in fear you Fight Everything And Reek of stinky experiences.
With a mind full of garbage these car wrecks waiting to happen will constantly seek places to dump their load. And they will dump it on you. They can dump all they want. It is up to you whether or not you take on their garbage for yourself. If you take on the garbage that can be found in the misguided lives of many people and events in your life then you, too, become a stinky garbage truck creating rotten experiences spreading your trash and stinking up your life. What's worse is as queen of your own compost heap you'll get used to the smell.
Be mindful of your thoughts. Pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth. Are you a trash talker? I'm not talking about using a four letter word or two to add a little color to your expression - as long as it's positive. Are you focused upon what's not right in your life and in your world? What you lack instead of what you have? Are you finding a lot to complain about? If so, you're attached to a stinky garbage truck life perspective picking up and dumping more trash every where you go.
“Thoughts are things; they have tremendous power. Thoughts of doubt and fear are pathways to failure. When you conquer negative attitudes of doubt and fear you conquer failure. Thoughts crystallize into habit and habit solidifies into circumstances.” - Bryan Adams, Canadian rock singer-songwriter and photographer
To let go of the garbage bags you've been carrying around to stink up the place, find the value in every experience, good and bad. This gem is often disguised as a life-affirming lesson to be learned. Take the note and apply the lesson to clean up your act or create more of the good stuff. Speak and act in the direction of your dreams and your days will reflect the sweetest smelling rose in the garden of life.
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips!
If that statement bubbled up in your thoughts recently then you may be attached to life decaying garbage truck thinking. Simply put, if you stuff your mind with garbage you will create stinky outcomes. If you focus upon all that is bad in your life you will only add to the garbage dump that is becoming your daily experience.
Garbage in, garbage out.
Let's say you're rushing to get to work on the 405 freeway when another driver cuts in front of you and slams on the brakes. You toot your horn forcefully to give him a warning as you avoid a whopper of a fender bender. He responds with a slew of obscenities and the ubiquitous finger punctuator. It happens - a lot - if you live in a busy metropolis such as Los Angeles.
In that moment you have a choice. You can raise your fickle finger of fate in response or smile and count your blessings that you're not that guy. Yikes, what a miserable way to live. By smiling you kept negative feelings and energy right where it came from - from that guy. If you responded with your own favorite flip off gesture you would have taken on his garbage as yours. Pissed off, your focus is negatively directed. You will cloud your vision with so much dust and dirt and wonder why you cannot see.
"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." - Ziggy, Tom Wilson comic strip panel
Where focus goes, energy flows.
Some people are like garbage trucks. They run around packed to the hilt with garbage. Their life energy is full of anger, frustration and disappointment. Their conversations are filled with complaints. They find excuses and reasons why they can't be, do or have what they want blaming others for their misfortune. The acronym for Finding Excuses And Reasons is FEAR and when you're in fear you Fight Everything And Reek of stinky experiences.
With a mind full of garbage these car wrecks waiting to happen will constantly seek places to dump their load. And they will dump it on you. They can dump all they want. It is up to you whether or not you take on their garbage for yourself. If you take on the garbage that can be found in the misguided lives of many people and events in your life then you, too, become a stinky garbage truck creating rotten experiences spreading your trash and stinking up your life. What's worse is as queen of your own compost heap you'll get used to the smell.
Be mindful of your thoughts. Pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth. Are you a trash talker? I'm not talking about using a four letter word or two to add a little color to your expression - as long as it's positive. Are you focused upon what's not right in your life and in your world? What you lack instead of what you have? Are you finding a lot to complain about? If so, you're attached to a stinky garbage truck life perspective picking up and dumping more trash every where you go.
“Thoughts are things; they have tremendous power. Thoughts of doubt and fear are pathways to failure. When you conquer negative attitudes of doubt and fear you conquer failure. Thoughts crystallize into habit and habit solidifies into circumstances.” - Bryan Adams, Canadian rock singer-songwriter and photographer
To let go of the garbage bags you've been carrying around to stink up the place, find the value in every experience, good and bad. This gem is often disguised as a life-affirming lesson to be learned. Take the note and apply the lesson to clean up your act or create more of the good stuff. Speak and act in the direction of your dreams and your days will reflect the sweetest smelling rose in the garden of life.
Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips!
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